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People in the Asperger's group pretending to be autistic

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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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24 May 2010, 9:49 pm

MathGirl wrote:
I attend an Asperger's group where there are usually about 10 to 20 people. I just met one of the people from there for tea and we were discussing stuff related to Asperger's. Earlier on, we talked on the phone, and somehow the subject came to him saying that he suspects that two people in the group don't have it. When we met, I've asked him what made him think that they don't have it because I'm curious about how other people can distinguish whether someone's autistic or not. He said that he noticed that in one situation, these people would behave in a certain way, while in another situation they would behave completely differently. So, he said that it seems as though they're trying to appear autistic in order to fit in. I was surprised at how someone would actually want to appear autistic. It seems very strange to me.

Your thoughts on this?


This used to preoccupy me. Who really has AS? Whether someone is autistic or not,, just them pretending to be means they must have a deep desire to fit in and belong, so I guess it doesn't matter if they genuinely have it or not.



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24 May 2010, 9:51 pm

book_noodles wrote:
Danielismyname wrote:
The mere fact that both of you were talking on the phone means neither of you have an ASD. :P
Wow, seriously? Usually on this website I don't bother to directly refute anyone's opinion, but that was pretty stupid.
I think he was joking. :P


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24 May 2010, 9:55 pm

MathGirl wrote:
book_noodles wrote:
Danielismyname wrote:
The mere fact that both of you were talking on the phone means neither of you have an ASD. :P
Wow, seriously? Usually on this website I don't bother to directly refute anyone's opinion, but that was pretty stupid.
I think he was joking. :P


Daniel has a dry sense of humor. :)



book_noodles
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24 May 2010, 9:56 pm

MathGirl wrote:
book_noodles wrote:
Danielismyname wrote:
The mere fact that both of you were talking on the phone means neither of you have an ASD. :P
Wow, seriously? Usually on this website I don't bother to directly refute anyone's opinion, but that was pretty stupid.
I think he was joking. :P

:oops: that was a Morgan failure then.


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MathGirl
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24 May 2010, 10:02 pm

book_noodles wrote:
MathGirl wrote:
book_noodles wrote:
Danielismyname wrote:
The mere fact that both of you were talking on the phone means neither of you have an ASD. :P
Wow, seriously? Usually on this website I don't bother to directly refute anyone's opinion, but that was pretty stupid.
I think he was joking. :P
:oops: that was a Morgan failure then.
No worries. I didn't catch it right away, either, but I've learned that a lot of the time, he's joking. Once his status said "Asperger's a disease". Which is a perfectly good mockery of the stereotypes, and seems to be the theme for a lot of his posts.


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krill
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24 May 2010, 10:15 pm

I have NLD and I used to go a group for people on the spectrum (mostly Aspie) and I'm sure there were people who think I'm not on the spectrum (which, admittedly, is up for debate). Occasionally other NLDers would come and I think as a group we tend to come off like that, while having a lot of the same traits and problems as Aspies. I did learn to adapt as a teenager and now doing it is second nature, for better or worse. There was someone else in my group who's self-diagnosed and I told him, I think we really don't fit the mold (or NT mold, either, for that matter).

The point of this is, that some people who might look like they're faking it, it might be that they're 'cousins' who don't really fit into the NT world but who look like it, superficially.


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krill
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24 May 2010, 10:16 pm

I have NLD and I used to go a group for people on the spectrum (mostly Aspie) and I'm sure there were people who think I'm not on the spectrum (which, admittedly, is up for debate). Occasionally other NLDers would come and I think as a group we tend to come off like that, while having a lot of the same traits and problems as Aspies. I did learn to adapt as a teenager and now doing it is second nature, for better or worse. There was someone else in my group who's self-diagnosed and I told him, I think we really don't fit the mold (or NT mold, either, for that matter).

The point of this is, that some people who might look like they're faking it, it might be that they're 'cousins' who don't really fit into the NT world but who look like it, superficially.


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24 May 2010, 10:24 pm

They may be well-adjusted Aspies. I act normal with good friends and reserved with others, unless they're telling me intresting things.

Or they may be researchers. Or even finding background material for their novel/book/ whatever.

I've heard there are sympathy-seekers who pretend to have AS to have an excuse not to work hard.



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24 May 2010, 10:26 pm

krill wrote:
The point of this is, that some people who might look like they're faking it, it might be that they're 'cousins' who don't really fit into the NT world but who look like it, superficially.
Good point; it's entirely possible. I've realized that I haven't asked them if they're diagnosed or not, either, and what their diagnosis is. Maybe I should. And not that I personally care about people with other diagnoses "invading" the group, I'm just genuinely interested how people's AS traits differ and what makes someone AS over any other condition, like NLD.

I've met some people who seem more spectrumy than other people I've met who are apparently diagnosed with an ASD. After asking them some leading questions, and having relevant discussions, it seemed like they were not diagnosed with anything. Which really makes me curious about what puts one person on the spectrum, and not another.


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24 May 2010, 10:31 pm

Yeah, they might be NT nerds. A number of my friends are like that. We were the nerdy group in school. When they started college they became more NT-like, but still nerdy.



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24 May 2010, 10:34 pm

Kiley wrote:
My eldest son is like that. In some environments he seems very "normal" and people don't believe he could possibly have an ASD. However, he most definitely does and has very significant symptoms. I think it's possible there are fakers, but behaving differently in different environments is possibly legit.
Okay. I guess it's a lot of effort for him, though.[/quote]

No not really. He makes eye contact pretty readily, and if we are in a small group doing something interesting he comes across as geeky just like the NTs among our family and friends. He isn't working at it. What's going on in his mind is very Aspieish, but his superficial appearance can be very typical if the situation is just right, without him working at it. When people tell me they don't see it and he can't possibly have an ASD I feel like saying "Wait for it....wait for it....there it is" because he'll eventually run into some situation that triggers a melt down, stim session, or a long dialogue about robots or another interest.



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24 May 2010, 10:39 pm

Quote:
Kiley wrote:
Kiley wrote:
My eldest son is like that. In some environments he seems very "normal" and people don't believe he could possibly have an ASD. However, he most definitely does and has very significant symptoms. I think it's possible there are fakers, but behaving differently in different environments is possibly legit.
Okay. I guess it's a lot of effort for him, though.
No not really. He makes eye contact pretty readily, and if we are in a small group doing something interesting he comes across as geeky just like the NTs among our family and friends. He isn't working at it. What's going on in his mind is very Aspieish, but his superficial appearance can be very typical if the situation is just right, without him working at it. When people tell me they don't see it and he can't possibly have an ASD I feel like saying "Wait for it....wait for it....there it is" because he'll eventually run into some situation that triggers a melt down, stim session, or a long dialogue about robots or another interest.
Wow, traits manifest so differently in everyone with an ASD. For me, even making direct eye contact during a conversation is a trememdous effort. Judging from this, though, it seems like he's still somewhat socially awkward. Stimming is definitely another thing. Some people I've met who claim to have AS don't stim very often. But again, they might be suppressing it. Which, from my own experiences, is VERY draining.


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25 May 2010, 1:25 am

MathGirl wrote:
I attend an Asperger's group where there are usually about 10 to 20 people. I just met one of the people from there for tea and we were discussing stuff related to Asperger's. Earlier on, we talked on the phone, and somehow the subject came to him saying that he suspects that two people in the group don't have it. When we met, I've asked him what made him think that they don't have it because I'm curious about how other people can distinguish whether someone's autistic or not. He said that he noticed that in one situation, these people would behave in a certain way, while in another situation they would behave completely differently. So, he said that it seems as though they're trying to appear autistic in order to fit in. I was surprised at how someone would actually want to appear autistic. It seems very strange to me.

Your thoughts on this?


I think I need a bit more information (hopefully you haven't addressed this in posts I haven't read yet). His evidence is that they act differently in different situations? Isn't that a normal reaction to a situation that is different from another situation, you react differently in it?



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25 May 2010, 1:28 am

I act different in different situations all the time.


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25 May 2010, 1:29 am

book_noodles wrote:
Danielismyname wrote:
The mere fact that both of you were talking on the phone means neither of you have an ASD. :P


Wow, seriously? Usually on this website I don't bother to directly refute anyone's opinion, but that was pretty stupid.


I'm relatively certain that was a joke.



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25 May 2010, 1:38 am

Well, that gossip of your friend is such a NT thing....May be the pearson is a NT himself/herself.
The aspergers isnt such a clear test....this is very subjective...if somebody has 32 points in an AQ test is an Aspie but if he has 31 points lets exclude?
WTF? What a kind of NT thing is that?
That doesnt work like that. Many people were diagnosed as youngs and today would fail to meet the criterias. May be that pearson that started the gossip isnt an aspie anymore.....I remembered @ school I had a colleague that was spreading that I was gay(I am straight). Today i know he is gay.
I am a severe aspie in a lot of aspects but when i am confident i may appear the most popular and social pearson in this world for the people who dont know me?
If people have Aspergers they would feel well being called Aspergers, having a reserved life, dont be called freaks just because they dont go to the parties everybody is going to.
If they are NTs they quickly will understand that kind of life isnt for them.
And just to inform that this topic made me feel seriourly disgusted.