Ever felt that the NT world is just a game of let's pretend?

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I don't quite agree with this. Having a nice house, a car, a career that you enjoy and that pays well will make some people happy. It doesn't mean that they are superficial, it just means that they have different values than you. Not being on the spectrum doesn't mean that you automatically do and think what everyone else does and thinks about.
I have AS and having a nice house, a career and a car (but not necessarily a mortgage lol) would make my life easier but like everyone else, it's not the only thing that matters to me.

Some of the world is definitely a game of "lets pretend to be like everyone else", but it doesn't extend to all areas of life.

I feel the same way. Im always told that I should somehow become interested in the same kinds of things that NT's are so I have something in common with them and something to talk about, like clothes, tv shows, celebrity gossip, sports, currant events, ect.... AND NO, its not enough to just know about these things, you must have an emotional attachment to them, you must in a sense, ascribe intrinsic value to them!! ! If you don't, you're an outcast.

I've always maintained that AS folks and NTs have different exchange currencies.

I recently told myself I wasn't going to fake emotions or feelings, and to that I have kept my word, however I can't find to bring my self to understand why acting like me ( no emotions and no empathy ), makes me the odd ball I've listened to the people we call NT's, and their conversations are hard to follow, I find my self emersed in a world where talking constantly is the thing to do, and I'll be honest I usually end up locking up because of it I won't cotinue talking about flaws however I would like it if they for once were the odd balls, only then will they see our side of the story.

I can usually get something out of interacting with NTs who are sensitive and/or intelligent in a one-on-one conversations. It's groups of NTs that I'm completely lost on. It seems like the quality is inversely proportional to the number of NTs in the group. It's like the more people you add the more boring and superficial the conversations become, the more people start to become the stereotypical "fake" NTs.

Theory of mind.

Because Aspies can't relate to the way NTs are they must assume and believe that what we do is fake, shallow or anything 'below' them to accept that what thet're seeing. The brain says "well I don't get it, so it must be a trick, they're all fakers and pretenders - ok cool!".

All aspies need to take a class in self-awareness before they pass judgment on any NTs motivations.

Yeah, there are a lot of things around me that strike me as banalities. I think everyone's going to have their frivolous indulgences for fun, but the people I feel sorry for are those who don't realize they've built their lives around something frivolous.

I don't feel comfortable saying that it's strictly an NT/ADHD/Aspie division, though. I don't like thinking that way because I don't like the attitude I get when I go down that path and I don't think others around me like it either. (And even when I don't outright say it, I think people can tell.)

I think this is true too. problem is I cant tune into that energy, or even perceive it! I am just left with the words....

If you're addressing me I meant fake as in lacking substance, the opposite of "real" i.e. substantial. Yea, what's substantial is in the eye of the beholder. I get it. What I don't get is that I'm suddenly not allowed to express how things appear from my point of view on a support site for people on the autism spectrum.

I guess I'm just an elitist as*hole. I'll admit it. For the most part I find people boring as hell, though I mostly keep my thoughts to myself. I can't change how I feel. I really should just paint the walls with my f***ing brains because I don't deserve to exist.

In the NT world, honesty, when it shows up, takes a form we wouldn't recognize as honesty, but which is honesty to them. It's like...

When you were little, did you ever pretend you were a spy and devise codes? Did you speak in codes with friends, and find it so fun that you spoke in code even when no one else was listening?

It's sort of like that. I've come to understand that when NTs say something, they mean something else entirely, but it's a code they all understand, most of them without being told. It's sort of like BDSM, with a safe word. If you and your partner (the NTs) have agreed that reciting Lorem Ipsum backwards means no, and no means yes, and someone else (an Aspie) happens to walk in, they'll be very confused. "Why can't you keep going while reciting Lorem Ipsum backwards? Why doesn't saying it forwards have the same effect? Why do you ignore the other person's no? Why do you stay with a person who ignores it when you say no?"

(Sorry if I've misrepresented BDSM. I'm not into it, it was just the example that jumped to mind.)

Also, in the purely NT world (which is as nonexistent as any other ideal), I've noticed that facts don't matter but emotions do. And beyond that, emotions matter more when they're about people.

Whereas in the purely Aspie or Autie world (again, nonexistent), facts are always the most important, with facts about the person's special interest being particularly distinguished, in the NT world, emotions about the person you're interacting with are most important, followed by emotions about other things, followed by generalities and only then followed by specific facts.

"You are more beautiful than the stars in the sky and I love you more than life itself; without you, I could not live" correctly communicates the speaker's emotions toward the listener, such that, to an NT, this statement is true. Whereas we consider facts more important, so to us, this statement is false regardless of the emotion it's meant to convey. "If you died I would consider suicide because I love you so much" would be true to us. (To an NT, it would take the mood, flash-freeze it and smash it against the sidewalk.)

Or at least, I think that's it. I'm not an NT. Any NTs want to tell me if I'm right?

I guess that the more people introduced into a situation, the more the common denominator must lower.

I wasn't adressing you directly, you can tell if I do because I'll likely quote you. I address thread ideas/titles/contents with no consideration for the author. I respond to the text and the idea it conveys.

I know exactly what you meant by real. I am more than aware that people with ASDs (not just aspies) consider any subject outside of their realm of interest or understanding to be superficial. I know they consider NTs to be superficial for simply having certain interests and conversations....such as discussing the weather. I know Aspies consider polite formalties (like talking about the weather, or enquiring how a person is feeling even though the answer may be obvious) to be superficial. But this is not because these things lack substance or are fake, it's because people in the spectrum are so inside themselves (aut = self, Autism = selfism) that they can not comprehend the point of these exchanges, and like I said above, they must label them demeaningly. I don't know why they always see these things in a negative light....maybe because they can't do it themselves, or are scared of what they do not understand. (????)

But you guys aren't better because you don't involve yourselves in these polite exchanges (by choice or inability), it's exactly what alienates you from people. I think alot of Aspies are too busy trying to justify themsevles (to themselves) to understand this. You'd rather consider yourselves "above" that kind of thing, rather than realist it serves a wonderful purpose in life.

Or as you admitted, and many other aspies have admitted, you're all elitists! Haha, but I don't believe that. Sure there are quite a few Aspie elititists out there, especially on this forum, but for the most part I think it's a GENUINE case of "not getting it" and having to make something out of it!

Like all people on the spectrum have no Theory of Mind at all... I am not dumb and I see NT people discuss things they don't care about themselves, ask things indirectly and so on.. all politeness and fear of losing face. Why can't you understand some people (especially those on the spectrum) are not interested in such tedious rituals.

Hi KoS, hows the weather?
Man its terrible here, wind and rain but we've got the fire going.

We do understand, and we don't care that you're not interested! But we are, and we prefer to talk to people who share our interests, as do you! And the fact that you consider it all unnecessary politeness, or saving face just further demonstrates your lack of understanding!

We talk about things we aren't interested in because we can do things we want to make the other person feel good, that is important to us. To make the people around us that we care for to feel appreciated and cared about, one way of doing this is expressing general interest in them and what they do, whether or not it's what we're interested in! Everybody is not you!

Cold here too mate! Wish we had the fire going, but didn't manage to grab any wood! Bummer, cheers for asking!