Self diagnosis Apology thread. Please read.

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Asperger's could be removed from the psychiatric manuals at any time. In which case we will need to shop around for new labels.

Hi Aphex!

I was one among the earliest responders to the post. My response was blunt, but wasn't meant to be out of spite either, but as truthful as your own was. I want to apologize to you as well, because what I had to say obviously fanned some flames. To be honest with you though, I knew it would. The controversy over self-diagnosis isn't new. I've seen it before numerous times. It doesn't really bother me personally. I don't lose sleep over it. I do occasionally respond to the subject not because I think I'm going to change everyone's minds who think self-diagnosis is equal to faking Autism, but because it might be possible to convince at least one or two folks to think a little bit differently about it, hopefully seeing a side of the issue they've never considered.

I don't really think an apology is necessary from you. Not for me anyway. You stated how you felt, and that's about as honest as anyone can be. But if you felt you should apologize, then it was good that you did. Good for you, and probably good for others as well. To me the issue isn't about anybody being right or wrong. It's about considering opinions other than our own, and broadening our knowledge and understanding of each other (whether AS is part of the picture or not).

It's clear from your post here that you did at least begin to think about some things maybe you hadn't before, and that is all I hoped for, not just for you, but for others reading as well. You weren't wrong to feel as you did, based on your understanding at the time. I'm sure it made perfect sense to you. If I had been diagnosed at a much younger age, I'm certain I probably would have felt just as you did at the same age.

Age differences here (I'm approaching fifty), especially among Aspies, is probably one of the things that can start fires rather quickly. I've learned over time that Aspies in their forties or fifties (especially those who have been "AS aware" for a long time), tend to think quite a bit differently than Aspies in their teens, twenties, or even thirties sometimes. It takes us a very long time to develop open minds, and think about how others might think. That is the "nature" of AS. It's not that we can't or don't change. It's that it takes us far longer than NT's.

I just looked below this edit box and noticed DeconBlues post, where pretty much the same things, with more details are added, and that post mirrors exactly what I'm saying and thinking.

My aim by answering you, and starting another related thread, was in the hopes of reaching you, or anyone else, and convincing at least some of you to consider some things you may not have thought about.

Thank you VERY much for letting us know we reached you.

On the FLIP side of that coin:

I'm certain there ARE fakes and posers out there. People who come to forums like this just to blend in, do NOT have AS, in an attempt to pretend to be someone they are not, to manipulate others they may think are intellectually inferior. Well, I wouldn't worry too much about them, because they always have a way of either tripping themselves up, or being tripped up when they start to discover there are actually quite a lot of Aspies of intellectual capacity far higher than their own, capable of tripping up posers with their own words.

Take everything you read here with HUGE mounds of salt!

I was never offended by what you said, but then I do only speak for myself.

Exactly. I didn't "self-diagnose" with the Cool New Thing; I knew bugger all about it (and had the usual misconceptions about autism) until my family suggested that Asperger's fit me, which of course it does (and it's a step up from "mad John" ). I am not a different person now that I'm officially diagnosed. Mind, after a couple of years learning that I'm not alone in the world I'm a good deal happier, but that's hardly contingent on official recognition.

Anyway, I'm prepared to credit and welcome anyone who in good faith thinks they belong.

I don't believe there are huge numbers of misguided people - I do believe there are plenty of people whose traits place them right on the vague borderline, but I don't see those people making themselves out to be something they're not - and I absolutely do not believe there are legions of evil posers out there pretending to be autistic for kicks. It's a stupid bloody myth. If I saw it happening over and over I might start to believe it, but all I see happening are people saying it's happening, over and over and over...

This rings true for me also. I was 9 by the time Asperger's was recognized as a disorder at all. By then I had been bullied and teased so much, and already labeled a weird problem child (could ace tests without trying but was always talking back to the teacher and/or correcting her) and had started to develop coping mechanisms (rocking, nail biting, trichtillomania, the obsessions). Also, my parents by then had started to naturally figure out how to assist me, by teaching me scripts for talking to other people and accomodating my weirdness at home (e.g. serving food to my tastes etc.)

My life would have been so different if I'd been diagnosed properly and gotten help for Asperger's instead of antidepressants and years of counselors, only to find myself more unable to cope than ever in adulthood because those things were not what I needed. So yes I am a bit jealous of those who are still young enough to benefit from school/youth services, since now I have to depend on money from my parents for counseling and meds. It's awful and degrading to be so dependent and feel so stuck in life.

I'm glad to hear how your diagnosis has helped you.

It's new world for autism now, and I'm grateful for my son that he was born in a time when autism is starting to be recognized for what it is.

You and he are truly fortunate in that regard.

I can't imagine the tortures that some of the older folks went through as children with all the ignorance about autism, and the
lack of support.

There's a lot of defensiveness around the subject of self-diagnosis because of the harm done to them as children and not being recognized or understood.

It's good that you are able to articulate so much at such a young age.

You're doing great!

Last edited by tenzinsmom on 14 Jun 2010, 2:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.

AphexSam - personally, I don't think you need to apologise for your thread. You were expressing your personal reaction to something, based on your own experiences. I didn't see you insulting anyone - you were just saying it was something that annoyed you, which is fair enough.

I thought it was a good thread, because it gave people a chance to talk about different viewpoints, and hopefully helped people see different perspectives.

And, at 16 years old, you can't be expected to know about how awareness and attitudes to autism has changed over time and how the older generation have not had access to diagnosis and support. Aspergers wasn't even named as a disorder until 1989, so things have changed quite dramatically over the past twenty years. I thought the thread was a good opportunity for people of different generations to talk about how things have changed.

[quote="Abraham"Asperger's could be removed from the psychiatric manuals at any time. In which case we will need to shop around for new labels.[/quote]
Actually, no, the move afoot for DSM-V is to simply fold it and other spectrum disorders in as subcategories of autism. This should make it easier for us to force psychs to go look it up, as it'll all be under 299 in the DSM codes.

AphexSam - I never had any hard feelings towards you , and don't think you had to apologize, but it's sweet that you did that all the same, so all the best to you.

Heres somethng I dont understand about the debate. There are supposed to be all these fakes and posers around, on the internet, pretending to have AS. Including on this board. Yet I have been here for 3 years, on WrongPlanet, and I havent seen a single poster who matches the above description.

Where did you get my old school reports from?

PS. You missed off "talks too much".

Ditto ... and "could do better" too!

Hehe. "Doesn't apply himself."

"Fusses to much"

My favourite report comment came in my brother's report:

"Really must understand that unauthorised experiments in the laboratory are NOT permitted, regardless of whether or not they seem to be a good idea at the time."

"He is wasting his time playing the fool....one day he will wake up to realise it is too late."

There's positive!

Didn't Charlie Chaplin (or someone similar) get a school report like that?