I don't understand this NT behavior.

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This is exactly right. I've invited friends to go on a trip with me and they won't commit to go, and then they will call when I've already left for the trip and be like "hey, I don't have plans I think I'll go with you." It's not all NTs, but most of my friends happen to be like this. They may be comfy with committing to see a movie when it comes out in a year, but not down to the details of what day, what theater, who will come, etc. I saw a friend the other day and had to leave our plans to "let's have lunch in a couple days."

I'm AS and I love planning too, but I often don't like to commit to other people. When emergencies come up and I can't do something I've committed to, I get extremely worried. So it's led me to a sort of 'commitment anxiety', I guess.

I found that most of my friends did similar things to me. I'd ask a guy to come over and play video games with me and he'd say he would as soon as he could, and that he was busy with work. Then a couple weeks later I'd bump into him at the movies with a girl and I'd purposely get into a long winded gamer discussion to make her suffer for taking my friend from me. Then I quit talking to him period. Keep in mind we had supposedly been friends for 5+ years. I got used to betrayal and now can almost count the people I consider friends on one hand.

One of my most NT characteristics. I have SOME little routines, but I find I take disruptions to my plans pretty well if I can rearrange them quickly. And yes, locking in plans is something that can sometimes be uncomfortable because it makes me feel like I have no margin for error.

Now, if the disruption is to something I REALLY wanted to do, I'll be disappointed/ticked off. But I think that's true of anybody.