How prefer to get your ego stroke

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Joined: 24 Feb 2007
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27 Jun 2010, 2:02 pm

I like it when people compliment my personality traits or intelligence. But I take compliments about my appearance or drawing skills with a grain of salt, because I always feel like they're only saying positive things so they won't hurt my feelings.

SpiritBlooms
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27 Jun 2010, 2:39 pm

I find that I get a lot of satisfaction out of interacting with others if I go a little out of my way to offer genuine compliments (without going overboard - that just makes people squirm), and show an interest in others.

I can get my social nourishment just from a trip to the grocery store or post office, if I go out of my way to smile and make a little small talk with people in line or the clerk. This is much easier than going to a party or other social gathering. I find I'm best socially when it comes in the course of taking care of business. Then I don't feel I HAVE to socialize, but it's nice when I do.

Keep it positive, be polite. It's better to notice someone likes the same product you do than to notice they're buying something you hate, for instance.

LISTEN. Don't monopolize the conversation. Give equal time to others, and only talk for short periods, then shut up and listen to the response - or change of topic.

I also belong to some online groups (my Facebook friends and a Tarot forum) where I know there are others who will be kind and uplifting, and appreciate any little kindness on my part.

The key is to go where you'll be appreciated. People hate standing in line. If you can brighten that for them, make it go a little faster, they love it. Just don't overdo it and don't be negative. Be subtle and be kind, but don't come off as overly prying or stalker-ish. (Note, it's best to engage the adults first, then their children, because parents these days are a little paranoid about strangers talking to their kids.)

If the clerk seems to be having a bad day, try to give her or him a little bright spot in the workday madness.

If I know I've helped someone smile or have a better day, that's all the ego stroke I need.

astaut
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27 Jun 2010, 3:34 pm

Ferdinand wrote:

I doubt you will die if you don't socialize. Insanity, perhaps?

I talk on WP.

Ferdinand I like your avatar. I love that movie (though I like Death Proof better than Planet Terror).

For me, my favorite things about me are my intelligence and my humor. I'm not a genius by any means, but I twist myself into physical pain thinking so hard trying to be one :lol:

People don't see my sense of humor until they get to know me well, but I haven't really met anyone who doesn't think I'm funny (once they are around me long enough). I usually get complimented on other things though, so it balances my ego out I think.

_________________
After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
--Spock

Exclavius
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27 Jun 2010, 10:06 pm

Todesking wrote:

I cannot take a compliment I always assume the person is lying to me to get something out of me.

They are!
It's called reciprocal altruism, and it's the only reason we are nice to people.
Either we get something in return from the person we're nice to (maybe then, maybe later)
Or we get something from society by improving our social image, and thus being more likable, and thus receiving more favours (which in turn are given in hopes of favours for the person giving them)

TheDoctor82
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28 Jun 2010, 1:29 am

jagatai wrote:

I like to stand out as being able to do something few others can do. Biking up a mountain, making an entertaining film, taking a good photograph.

I have to keep pushing myself to do better than I have previously done because as soon as I get over the high of having done something well, it becomes my baseline and I don't feel good unless I can do better than that. It leads to a feeling that I am never good enough but it also pushes me on to do better and better work.

I like getting praise from others, but in the end, I think what really matters is MY sense of the quality of my work.

I'm in the same boat as you, though I do it in different ways, including running my own business...at age 28.

I also have a girlfriend, a room-mate, and I chat with co-workers a bit, as well as online with people of course.

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