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ToughDiamond
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29 Jun 2010, 9:35 am

Yup - it'll just feel a bit embarrassing for a while because you offered help that turned out not to be needed. Happens all the time. Better than not offering at all, and then finding out later that nobody helped her. You did fine. I'm actually quite ashamed of the number of times I've wanted to offer help like that and decided not to just to avoid the risk of being told it's not appropriate. Of course it stings a bit to be unmasked like that, to be "caught" in a soft-hearted mode. But so what? I don't see how it can harm anybody's reputation to be noticed as kind-hearted, as long as you don't get noticed by the same people, doing it over and over again when it's obviously not wanted, so you look like you're trying to over-nurture everybody. But you're nowhere near that.



jeweetwelwie
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29 Jun 2010, 10:49 am

zeldapsychology wrote:
I messed up!! !! I pushed further so why worst day ever ever ever (on FB chat) and she said don't want to sound mean but somethings I want to keep to myself she says it was an argument that got blown out of proportion but things are fine now. Then I spent 2 to 3 comments later saying sorry I asked etc. she kept saying no you're fine etc. :-( So I fealt bad I went further and asked. :-(


Yes, but appearently she understands and it's ok now. (right?) I think you're lucky, you did the best you could do (and she has forgiven you the "pushing further"). Sorry, but private info is private.



zeldapsychology
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29 Jun 2010, 12:44 pm

Ya she said it was fine after I said sorry like 3 times. But I still feel bad about it. As someone else put I was just curious and wanted to help. IMO not sure whom upset her but if it's the Boyfriend then IMO it will not last LOL! A guy driving you to say worst day ever ever ever IS NOT going to last. LOL! She did accept me saying sorry but I still feel bad about asking further.



ToughDiamond
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01 Jul 2010, 4:39 am

zeldapsychology wrote:
Ya she said it was fine after I said sorry like 3 times. But I still feel bad about it. As someone else put I was just curious and wanted to help. IMO not sure whom upset her but if it's the Boyfriend then IMO it will not last LOL! A guy driving you to say worst day ever ever ever IS NOT going to last. LOL! She did accept me saying sorry but I still feel bad about asking further.

I suspect you could be doing more harm than good with multiple apologies. I once heard that to apologise too much runs the risk of making the other person think that the "offense" is really bad, when they hadn't originally thought that, just because of the constant apologies. Don't put yourself down to her too much.



FireMinstrel
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01 Jul 2010, 6:27 am

Apologizing too much can also irritate people just because you're saying the same thing over again. No one wants to hear the same thing over and over.