No Problem with Eye Contact?

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MrXxx
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30 Jun 2010, 5:15 pm

Kiseki wrote:

I remember standing up and she grabbed my hand but I refused to look at her or say hello. She yelled at me!

Great technique for encouraging eye contact, I must say. :roll:

Though I have a severely AS son for whom that would work really well. About the only time he will spontaneously make steady eye contact is in that very situation.

He would have given her his "angry evil stare!" :lol:

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30 Jun 2010, 9:02 pm

MONKEY wrote:

It's not common for AS-ers to have no eye contact problems. When you do look in people's eyes, are you just seeing eyes or what they're feeling? Because I think being able to make eye contact is different from getting meaning out of it.

I just see eyes. I like the way eyes look and I always have. As a kid I used to doodle them all the time. The first thing I notice about people is their eyes. Maybe liking the way the look is why I keep looking at them?

ColdBlooded wrote:

Like everyone else said, it's possible just unusual. But, it's also common for people with ASD to overestimate how functional they are in different areas.. because to us what we do doesn't seem strange. So, before you're so sure that you have normal eye contact, you might want to ask family members or friends if they think you have normal eye contact. Some people with ASD even make too much eye contact and stare, probably because they're trying to do what they're "supposed to do" but end up doing it wrong still.

I think I do stare. I've noticed myself doing that. I'm not sure how I am supposed to look at people to be honest. I mean, when do you look and when do you look away?

Last edited by Kiseki on 30 Jun 2010, 9:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Countess
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25 Jul 2010, 2:36 pm

Kiseki wrote:

MONKEY wrote:

ColdBlooded wrote:

I think I do stare. I've noticed myself doing that. I'm not sure how I am supposed to look at people to be honest. I mean, when do you look and when do you look away?

I notice eyes also (thought it was funny that you said you'd draw them - I do the same thing and always have). I have never had issues with making eye contact. I do remind myself however when talking to more than one person that I must make eye contact with each person as equally as possible to avoid appearing rude.

My son has good eye contact but I know it's not what it's "supposed" to be. Because it's significantly better than other children with Autism though, many people have trouble believing that's what's going on with him.

Glad I found this thread.

Corp900
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25 Jul 2010, 6:24 pm

U R BLESSD IF U DONT HAVE AN EYE CONTACT PROBLEM, MIGHT AS WELL NOT BE AS OR AUTISTIC

AshtonWA
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26 Jul 2010, 12:16 am

I don't look at eyes when I talk to someone, I look at their mouth. My Austistic son now does eye contact because since he was 10 months old and wouldn't look into my eyes when I talked to him, I would tell him to look at peoples faces when they talk to you, so now he does mouth contact as well.

I also would not look into people's eyes when I was a kid and my mom forced me to by holding my head and saying LOOK AT ME! I don't do that to my son, but my husband does it to him, and I have asked him to not get in his face like that, that it intimidates him, just ask him to look at your eyes and he will...

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buryuntime
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26 Jul 2010, 12:22 am

Seems very unusual, since abnormal eye contact seems to be one of the most universal specific features.

I didn't learn you were supposed to make eye contact until highschool, unless you were being reprimanded by a teacher.

SmallFruitSong
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26 Jul 2010, 3:33 am

The concept of "impairment of eye contact" doesn't necessarily mean having *just* having issues with making eye contact at all. There are some people on the spectrum who have no problem making eye contact, except their problem is that they make *too much* eye contact.

The "normal" method of using eye contact is to look into someone's eyes for a few seconds at a time, then looking away for a seconds or so before resuming eye contact. Rinse and repeat. Usually people will give others that small "break" in eye contact because otherwise it gets too intense.

You may notice the expression, to "stare down" at someone - using too much eye contact can be perceived as aggressive and/or challenging.

Humans aren't the only ones who dislike too much eye contact. Dogs have similar issues. Stare down at a dog you're not familiar with and more often than not, they will be very displeased.

Staring into someone's eyes without any breaks would, therefore, be considered a "marked impairment", if you're not doing it to deliberately challenge or antagonise someone.

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Kiseki
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26 Jul 2010, 10:38 am

SmallFruitSong wrote:

I think this may actually be the problem that I have. I stare at people when I speak to them. I really don't get why you are supposed to look away or when and how. How does one do that naturally?

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26 Jul 2010, 10:59 am

Kiseki wrote:

SmallFruitSong wrote:

I think this may actually be the problem that I have. I stare at people when I speak to them. I really don't get why you are supposed to look away or when and how. How does one do that naturally?

This may sound crazy, but watch what a dog does. Eye contact is important to their social structure and too much is bad because it's considered a challenge. They'll make it and break it periodically as well. The only dog that will consistently maintain eye contact or stare is the alpha.

Kiseki
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26 Jul 2010, 11:47 am

Countess wrote:

Hmm, I never really paid attention to that before. Is it natural within people to look away? I mean does it occur naturally or is something one has to tell themselves to do?

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26 Jul 2010, 11:50 am

I do have a tendency to look away when someone tries to make eye contact with my, but I do force myself to look someone in the eye when I'm at work. Feels odd for me to do it, but I have to do it to blend in with the rest of society.

Craig28
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26 Jul 2010, 11:51 am

I have problems with eye contact with my female befriender. You see, she's married and my subconsious is telling me that the only man to look into her eyes is her husband. Get me?

Countess
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26 Jul 2010, 12:08 pm

Kiseki wrote:

Is it natural within people to look away? I mean does it occur naturally or is something one has to tell themselves to do?

I really don't know the answer to that question. I'll have to ask someone. I would image it's something more natural. I never realized how unusual the amount of thought I put into having and maintaining a conversation was until I started talk with my son's speech pathologist.

SmallFruitSong
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26 Jul 2010, 12:19 pm

AFAIK, the "making and breaking" of eye contact is fairly "natural" for those not on the spectrum. I don't think most people are generally aware of themselves doing it, unless you point it out to them.

Generally, non-ASD people view eye contact as a way of touching, and maintaining base with someone during the course of a conversation. It's to show that they are listening and paying attention in a friendly way.

If this doesn't come naturally, then it will have to be a learned skill. I tend to remind myself to cycle through the eye contact/break/eye contact phase when I can. Another tactic is to look at a person's forehead or lips, which gives the impression that you are looking at someone.

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Sedaka
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26 Jul 2010, 12:21 pm

Eye contact is only easy for me if I'm extremely pissed at the person and am actively yelling.

Other than that, I bounce around and try to keep checking in with the eyes.

Oh... it also doesn't seem to be an issue if my face is extremely close to the other person's face ie--touching foreheads ect.

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buryuntime
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26 Jul 2010, 3:32 pm

One post says that in other cultures eye contact is frowned upon. So, is eye contact something that just comes "naturally" with being human, or is it something that is "naturally" picked up since it is expected of you in society?

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