NT Style Conversations (Read Between the Lines)

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02 Jul 2010, 6:37 am

yes I could have completely mis-read the situation - lack of vocal and body language cues in the written transcript, I guess.

Rocky
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02 Jul 2010, 6:38 am

ToughDiamond wrote:

Took me a few moments to see the joke - if chocolate stops you from being mean then you'll willingly pay for the chocolate. :lol:

Then there's the "you have to, you have no choice" which I think is a mild, friendly put-down. I've learned to do those put-downs reasonably well........it's easier in real life because on a good day I can probably pick it up if the recipient has taken my put-down to heart, and I can counter it by saying something like "I don't mean it, I think you're brilliant." When it works, I feel a great sense of identity with the other person that I doubt I could get in any other way. The technique is never completely without risk but by keeping the subject matter reasonably wacky and outrageously unlikely, it usually endears rather than offending.

Regarding the second part of your post, I agree about friendly banter which includes put-downs, but everyone reading this should be very careful when engaging in this. I personally have caused some hurt feelings which were very hard to correct.

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Rocky
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02 Jul 2010, 6:38 am

[Double post

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Last edited by Rocky on 02 Jul 2010, 8:07 am, edited 1 time in total.

Rocky
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02 Jul 2010, 6:39 am

triple post

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Last edited by Rocky on 02 Jul 2010, 8:06 am, edited 1 time in total.

nostromo
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02 Jul 2010, 6:40 am

I'd have to hear the tone to understand properly, but he mildly rebuked her (in a non-confrontational way) for pinching goods, which is what you are doing by consuming something before you pay for it. Then she said something that depending on the tone of her voice was either on topic but kinda oblique to avoid addressing his rebuke, or alternatively might have been an admission and semi-apology.

Customer: I'll pay for this chocolate candy (She was eating at the time.)
Cashier: (Cheerfully as if joking) You have to. You have no choice.
Customer: I like to eat chocolate. It keeps you from being mean.

ToughDiamond
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02 Jul 2010, 6:43 am

Rocky wrote:

Oh yes it can be a dangerous game. Just that there seems something kind of sterile about social relationships that don't have this element of comic insults. Nonetheless, when in doubt, I wouldn't do it.

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02 Jul 2010, 8:05 am

ToughDiamond wrote:

Rocky wrote:

Good points, well said. I think that if you know someone well enough, it is much less dangerous.

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MONIQUEIJ
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02 Jul 2010, 11:07 am

Kiseki wrote:

MONIQUEIJ wrote:

i actual know how to read between the lines, just what is said makes no sense at time, :help:

Me too, but it all just seems so insincere and lame!

It's fun to watch on TV though and try to figure out which characters are actually madly in love with each other.

yeah like on pretty little liars do that girl i forgot her name likes toby. tv show not the book

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02 Jul 2010, 3:12 pm

mcg wrote:

So what happens if you eat a bunch of chocolate and take an MAOI?

I'm no Dr. but I'd guess it wouldn't cause any issues. The actual effect is very little. I think many people are just superstitious about it. Or it makes them feel less guilty about eating junk food.

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04 Jul 2010, 9:19 am

Just FYI, it makes little 'sense' even for me as a NT.
But here's my take:

Customer: I'll pay for this chocolate candy
"Don't worry, I'll pay for this candy that I'm eating. I know I'm supposed to pay first." -- basically making sure the Cashier isn't alarmed that she might not pay for it.

Cashier: You have to. You have no choice.
Teasing the customer that she is stating the obvious, but jokingly, to assure the customer that she is not alarmed.

Customer: I like to eat chocolate. It keeps you from being mean.
She is making a half-hearted excuse/apology for eating it before paying for it. The excuse is personal, doesn't have anything to do with being mean or nice to the cashier.
She's also doing some light bonding. I presume they were both female, because chocolate is a common bonding 'girl topic' - like shoes/purses etc.

Cashier: (conciliatory remark)
Reacting to the Customer's excuse/apology, letting customer know that everything is ok and that she doesn't need to apologize.

eon
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04 Jul 2010, 1:23 pm

TruthTree, I imagine the exchange may have even been prompted by cues sent from the cashier like a disapproving look. I observe stuff like that all the time, I just have an extremely hard time being sure of the person's intent who hasn't offered vocalized facts to clarify it.

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04 Jul 2010, 1:33 pm

I'm only very rarely able to read between the lines.
My Mum says things like that and it always leaves me confused and bemused.

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Angnix
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04 Jul 2010, 5:19 pm

Customer: I'll pay for this chocolate candy (She was eating at the time.)
Cashier: (Cheerfully as if joking) You have to. You have no choice.
Customer: I like to eat chocolate. It keeps you from being mean.

I thought the last line was the customer accusing the cashier of being mean.

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04 Jul 2010, 5:25 pm

eon wrote:

Yea, she probably did start it all off.

I wish I missed those cues half the time, it would save the effort of deliberately ignoring it. :p

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05 Jul 2010, 4:51 am

TruthTree wrote:

Since you only have the written words to go by, I can see why you made this interpretation. I might not be as good as some at interpreting these sorts of things, but if I read the tension in the voices correctly, this is not the intent of the two people. BTW the customer was a female, and the cashier was a male.

I was meaning to start a discussion about this general topic rather than about this specific conversation. But thanks, everyone for contributing to this thread.

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