Could aspies ever be bullies

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I knew a aspie bullie myself, she used to be in my class. she came from a super rich family and looked down on us "regular people". she talked a lot of bs like "rich people have better manners because they have more money" (i really don't get her logic)
she also look down on us other aspies in the class (it was a special class for kids with aspergers) and threated us like we were mentally ret*d.

I knew one aspie who hit his mother and break things to get his way and he did it in school too and he go around hurting other kids to control them, he did the same to my brothers. He happened to have ODD.

I have also been bullied by a few aspies online.

Plus I knew of a woman online who had LFA and she was a bully too. She go around slandering other autistics claiming they are faking it and she be going after them stalking their posts and taking them and pasting them elsewhere to try and convince other people he or she is a fake. I can see why she be banned from every aspie forums she gone to. Doesn't matter if she genuinely thinks someone is faking their autism, bullying is bullying.

Even I have been one myself because I would think I was defending myself thinking other kids were picking on me. I also teased when I as little and that is considered bullying, doesn't matter if it's considered innocent or not. Other kids didn't enjoy it. And I have picked on other normal kids thinking I would fit in and be accepted because I thought it was something I was supposed to do. But it never worked.

Plus I have an aspie friend online who was a bully, he did it to also fit in and it worked. He got accepted and got left alone. He also learned to manipulate and now is very good at it.

My Aspie kids will bully a bit because they are very pasisonate about some things and don't know when to stop. Sometimes I feel quite bullied when they are campaigning for some thing they want for their special interests. We are pretty indulgent with them as far as supporting their interests, but we can't always afford what they want when they want it.

There is a little Aspie girl who lives around the corner and she bullies a lot. She is very intense and just doesn't know when to stop. I don't believe she means to be so mean, but my kids don't want anything to do with her. When they visit her she wants to totally control everything they do. I've seen her at school and she does the same thing to classmates. Kids call her a bully at school so that's how they see her. I've tried to give her some tips but she doesn't seem to get it.

I feel like I'm bullying when I'm in a situation with another person that I feel is trying to take advantage of me or trying to sucker me into something. My sense of humor is very fickle.

That sounds exactly like me when I was a little girl.

But I was labeled mean instead and selfish.

Maybe she will change when she gets older. It might finally catch up to her for her to realize she needs to change her ways to be a better person. Who knows, maybe she will get so sick of the rejections and all and sick of all these labels she has, she might finally start to listen and change and start reading books about meanness and manners and sharing and caring and do it.

I don't know how old she is, I was ten when I started to change.

I think she's 12. She's one grade behind my eldest who is 13. I haven't seen her in a few months. She could already be changing and I wouldn't know. Her mom is a school guidance counselor and loves her very much. I think she probably gets appropriate encouragement to change at home, so when she's ready all the help she needs will be there. I think some of it is anxiety in her case.

>>> This would explain why I had more geniune friends when I lived in the toxic slums of Edmonton, rather than the stuff "old south", where I was treated like absolute dirt? Where the only person to actually physically assault me. Assaulted me.

around the time I was turned 16 I got a growth spurt making taller and develope a better muscle tone. I was bigger than most of the guys who were bullying me. But these idiots still bullied me so I decided one of them was going to have to catch an asswhoopin. I figured thats what they do in prison to get respect why not high school. So I selected one bully who I knew could not fight so well and I waited for him to pick on me and when he did I challenged him to fight after school. He did not want to fight me and poeple were saying to him you were just calling him a ret*d are you afraid to fight to fight a ret*d. So he agreed to fight me after school. What pissed me off was that I was bigger and stronger than most of the bullies but they still had so little respect for me that they were not afraid of getting beat up by me. I beat the living hell out this kid, when the fight was over I called him a looser for picking on me for being in special education classes. When I was walking away he called me a ret*d as he was laying on his back so I ran up and stomped on his face.

I broke his orbital socket his parents tried to have me arrested but the cops said we left the school together and planned it out before the fight so were mutual combatants. So they tried to sue my parents for medical bills but we are able to produce school records showing a steady stream of harrassment and several assaults by him since the 7th grade in school. The judge told his parents he should have not walked across the street with me. He said the kid finally paid for his mistreatment of me they should have raised him better.

^ this is what i was going to suggest

i think bullies prey on the weak because they're fearful otherwise they will become or seem one of them

Yes. We are not all perfect, no one is, and sadism is in human nature.

At one time I did not think that autistic people could be bullies. But though I don't know any who are, having read about them I realise that they exist.

Psychologists often say that people who are bullied are more likely to become bullies themselves. That is true of me recently. I live in a group home with 5 other people. One of the other residents bullies all the others (but because of all this 'people's rights' bs, no one will admit he does it), including me. He doesn't physically hurt people but he is verbally agressive and will come right in your face (well about 3 feet above mine... I am short) and shout in your ears. If you so much as disagree with him on anything he does this. He does this to staff as well. One even secretly told me that he was being intimidating and he actually IS a bully, but I don't tell anyone here because apparently, that could get her fired...

Anyway, with no one helping me, I am ashamed to say that I turned bully myself. I started getting physically agressive with this guy to show him I wasn't going to take it anymore. I started to bully another resident as well because he was annoying. I stand up and take responsibility for my actions however, and although I still get angry with the genuine bully, I no longer bully the other guy. I feel terrible because I was physically beaten, bullied and almost killed as a child, so yes, the bullied did become the bully. The difference is, however, that I have accepted that I was in control of my behaviour, that it was wrong, and now I have stopped behaving in that way. The other guy (the intimidating one) will not admit that he is bullying others and shouts at anyone who suggests this. Yesterday he shouted at another resident just because he refused to go in his room and change the radio station for him!

Thankfully I am moving out of this house soon, so I am hoping this won't happen in the next one as the people next door (yes, I am not moving far!) are much more mature and independent. I no longer accept bullying behaviour from myself.

So in answer to the original question, yes, autistic people can be bullies.

i couldnt bully someone and hate seeing people get picked on. but i was never bullied myself if that makes a difference?

Doesn't matter who you are, and though we're more often on the receiving end there are a few bad apples here and there. Rumor has it that some of these so called internet trolls may very well be just as socially inept as some of us and are just trying to seek an answer to the emotional pain they struggle with.

From personal experience, having anonymity over the net helps -- better than directly confronting someone and risking a beating of some sort. Sure, it felt good to know that I did some kind of harm as a troll, more so than I could ever do in reality. Eventually realized how stupid it was and that it was only a temporary cure for my resentment towards those who did me wrong. I've stopped for the most part, but every now and then something ticks that makes me want to do it again....then I ask myself, "Is it really worth it?"

My advice: don't do it if you can't accept the consequences it brings.

While I would never hurt a person or their reputation, I have often been accused of being domineering and sometimes bullying. These type of things happen more when I have been infatuated with a person, or if they involve my interests.

I was thinking back to my best friend in Middle School. I often would push him to partake in my special interest at the time, or to go along with me on things. I never really did anything bad, but I didn't really know better at the time. He was also a kid that was easy to manipulate. I also was a little obessed with him, so that also played into it.

A couple of years ago, I went out and helped a childhood friend who was the mayor of a community that was devestated by a flood. The situation ended up badly, partly because I wanted to be a bigger part of the recovery than I felt I was. I often would have conversations with people who could help his community and in some ways push him to do certain things that I thought were a part of his duty and that should be done to better recover his city. Part of the reason that we had a big blow up is that he found me too domineering and taking too much of role in his community. I didn't totally understand the dynamics of what was going on like I do now.

Both situations also had their good come out of them. I think that Aspies sometimes do not understand the give and take of social relationships and that others have other thought processes. This can be made worse if we are obsessed with that person or the situation involves our interest. Also, due to the fact that we do not understand the dynamics of the person or the situation, we can come off as domineering.

Aspies can display all the benefits and all of the faults of human behaviour. In fact, we can display some of them in greater degree than NTs, because we are not always aware of the degree to which our behaviour is perceived by other.

Some (but by no means most) aspie kids can be so desperate for social inclusion that when someone else becomes the target of bullies, they will join in, relieved that, for once, "it's not me."

We may be naïve, but we are by no means innocent.