Are you self-conscious

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I am self conscious

I am very self conscious, not just how I look, but what I say. I feel like everytime I talk to another person, I sound stupid or something. I never know what to say and it keeps me from talking to people. I also feel that I look like an animal and I know people are staring at me when I go out.

I'm extremely self-conscious. It's bad to the point where I don't feel comfortable sharing my real opinion with people. If someone asks me whether I liked a certain movie I'm afraid to say I didn't like it in case the other person liked it. Ugh! I hate this.

I feel the same way. Its like no matter how anyone feels, for some reason I usually feel the opposite. If you dont like something that some one else likes, its like insulting to that person. At least thats how they react anyway.

I really don't know. I don't quite understand the concept of self-consciousness.

Actually I usually do feel a little bit hurt, or at least disappointed, when other people don't appreciate something I like. I realize there's no fault on their part but that doesn't stop me from not really wanting to hear their opinion.

I think other people are much better than I am at genuinely not caring what other people think. I can tell people I don't care what they think just to maintain my pride, but I know there's a part of me that actually *does* care. I can't just ignore it and pretend it doesn't exist.

Also, if I think someone has a judgmental attitude or opinion towards me it eats me alive. Ignorance in particular drives me nuts. I can't even stand the thought that somebody might have an ignorant or unjustified opinion of me. It makes me feel like I want to go up and shake some sense into them. I just can't deal with it. I'm constantly told "the world's full of as*holes, you just have to learn to deal with them and not care what they think", but I still can't stop myself from feeling like I want to cause grave bodily harm to said as*holes for being such ignorant as*holes.

That would probably depend to a large extent on the individual's personality. What I understand autism to mean (from my own personal experience) is that we don't feel an innate human-to-human connection with other people. Because of this, some people with autism might just feel so detached from others that they are unable to feel self-conscious around them. For others of us, knowing that that we struggle with social situations and probably don't come across well, knowing that we're different and that our differences are just 'there' for all the world to see however much we might want to appear 'normal', and knowing that other people view us as odd can make us feel extremely shy and self-conscious around other people.

I am self-conscious around other people to the extent that it disables me at least as much if not more than my AS does. Throughout my life I have suffered from selective mutism and still do. I also believe myself to have avoidant personality disorder and also some degree of body dysmorphic disorder. I am self-conscious about how I look, but I am far more self-conscious about how I sound when I am around people. This affects my physical ability to talk and when I am around other people I am barely verbal in a lot of social situations, even though I can speak when I feel more relaxed. When I listened to a recording of my voice I thought I sounded like somebody who has brain damage.

I too found that getting a diagnosis made me feel,(at least temporarily) more self-conscious. I think professionals, including diagnostic services can sometimes make us feel very self-conscious by the things they say and write about us.

Same here. I think lack of confidence is almost as disabling as the rest. Clinical depression is a huge factor as well.

I've also noticed that as I grew older and became more self-aware a previous set of problems is replaced by a new one. I may have gotten over a lot of my childhood AS symptoms but they got replaced by a whole slew of new emotional issues. It's like the more you learn about the way the world and society works, the more you realize it would probably be easier not to know. Heightened awareness is almost like taking one step forward and two steps back. Sometimes I almost long to go back to the stage in life where I was completely absorbed in my own special interests and didn't care about much else.

very very self-conscious most of the time in public. a lot of times, say if i'm walking around in a supermarket or other store, i feel as if every single eye is on me and examining every move i make and almost reading my thoughts.

An early point raised in this thread: definition of terms -

1. self-conscious in the everyday sense (being overly aware of the way one looks, feeling 'bigger' than one actually is, embarrassment, etc...),

2. self-consiousness in the psychological sense which seems to refer to how much 'awareness' one has of one's body,

3. social awkwardness which can give the appearance of self-consiousness, but as House M.D. (MrXxx !) and TeaEarlGreyHot suggest - this doesn't necessarily correspond with the experience of the person within the body.

I think the O.P. is referring to the 1st kind, and this seems to be affected by a number of things; how aware one is of the world outside oneself, the ways in which we have come to understand and relate (or not) to other people, any cognitive delays in comprehending what people are doing/saying to us (definitely an issue with me) and also the projection of negative judgements onto others, due to Theory of Mind. I'm still not massively secure in my use of the term T.o.M, I'm assuming it's the ability to gauge what others are thinking based on the info available through what's being said and the way it's being said...? Clearly an AS/Spectrum issue.

This is my case, exactly. Even the feeling when someone else is looking. I wondered though, if that might be a good thing. Like, a skill or something.

I hate feeling like the second paragraph, though. Because that happens too often. >.>

Also, afraid to mention your real opinion, near somebody, as earlier mentioned in this thread. I just don't like causing any argument or standing out, because sometimes I can't get my thoughts together quickly enough to defend my statement/claim, leading to what would seem awkward.

I do feel that way sometimes when out in public think that people are judging me on the way I look or am dressed or the way I act-I am very shy in public and always feel inferior to everyone else.

Appearance wise, yes. Due mostly to my past experiences in grade school. When I didn't dress 'fashionably' or have my hair a certain way, these two girls would make comments and taunt me relentlessly.

I'm very self-concscious.

I completely agree with this. As an older aspie, I'm much more aware of how important social interaction is. Even though I'm better at this than I used to be, I'm still way behind most people. I also have less enthusiasm for my special interests, as I know they are pretty useless. I think I was happier when I was younger and totally immersed in my special interests.



I think I read that autism involves a lack of self-awareness. It's like not being able to instinctively and unconsciously monitor yourself in a social situation. Becoming self-conscious is a way of trying to fix this, but it doesn't really help. I'd describe myself as very self-conscious, but with poor self-awareness.

I do consider it a skill, and also a neurological benefit that I have, something to chalk up on my list of positives for having AS. It does have it's downside, but looking at the benefit is essential. I've been thinking about this whole perception issue, the senses and the neurological differences between myself and the NTs that I know - observing them and talking to them about how they perceive things. One crucial things that I've noted is that they filter much of what they perceive. I, on the other hand am taking in incredibly more information on a continual basis. I don't have a filter the way NTS do. I constantly notice and see more, I hear more, etc. etc. This is consciousness - to be aware. So, it only stands to reason that I would be more self conscious as well.

This is completely different from the notion of self consciousness as a psychological function. It's not about anxiety, or negative self talk, or worry, or self esteem, or any of that. It's a physical awareness thing. Say, I enter a banquet hall and I notice each pair of eyes on me as well as everything else about the room. Can I now be free and un-self conscious? NO. I am too aware. I cannot filter it out. That's what sucks about being so non-filtered aware all the time. It's exhausting and sooner or later, usually sooner, you need a break from it all due to overwhelm.

It's a gift in that those with AS experience and see so much more. It's also an area that I'm just realizing is probably an untapped source of strength for me. NTs have abilities like reading body language. But, I am certain that the acute senses that I have along with my non-filtered awareness of detail in my environment, if I put them together, I can actually start using to be more successful socially. I may not be able to read facial expressions or body language that well, but I'm certainly a pro at feeling the energy shift in a room, or the volume or other changes in voices...things like that.

The burden part of is that, there is the almost impossibility of just being free. I sometimes envy those NTs who seem blind to so much. But not for long. I wouldn't change who am for the world.