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Is this girl an aspie? (NT here)

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salzbrezeln
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06 Aug 2010, 1:16 pm

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Yes, but it's hard to act normally and relaxed around her if you talk to her for more than fifteen seconds. I hate awkward silences, and always try to stuff them with more small talk, lol... which might make the situation even worse for her


Well, just sort of fill up the space yourself, and anticipate her terse responses. She might relax if she knows her silence won't scare you off or something



marshall
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06 Aug 2010, 5:37 pm

salzbrezeln wrote:
Quote:
Yes, but it's hard to act normally and relaxed around her if you talk to her for more than fifteen seconds. I hate awkward silences, and always try to stuff them with more small talk, lol... which might make the situation even worse for her


Well, just sort of fill up the space yourself, and anticipate her terse responses. She might relax if she knows her silence won't scare you off or something

I second this.



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09 Aug 2010, 4:48 am

noogle wrote:
The other reason why I have the feeling it would go horribly if I ask her, is an experience my friend had with her regarding personal questions. My friend asked her if she'd ever considered styling her hair in a different way...she genuinely didn't mean it in a hurtful way, but she told me that the girl looked at her as if she had thrown a terrible insult at her, didn't answer, and walked away from her. Ever since then, the girl has rarely even responded to my friend's greetings.
My friend has been feeling guilty about this incident ever since then...and...yeah, seems like a bad idea to ask her such personal questions (and mine is considerably more personal than just a hairstyle suggestion)

Think I'd better just go for the general suggestion here, to continue being nice to her.

Hmmm...maybe she took it so badly because of a previous bad experiences on a similar theme, like some idiot trying to make her over, or somebody ridiculing her hairstyle? I agree it's best to be very cautious, under the circumstances, but I'd be curious as to whether she has a general aversion to personal questions, or something more specific (and therefore easier to avoid without ceasing to ask any questions of her at all). Maybe as she gets to know you better she'll feel more at ease and it'll become safer to probe. Meanwhile you would seem to have little choice but to stay on the touchline, look, and learn.