First time rejected on a party because of my autism?

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Doesn't it piss you off when people don't listen to your side of the story and instead they keep going by feelings?

Hell yeah it pisses me off. Noticed in schools(elementary, middle, and high school) what they promote. It is more about feelings(consideration for others, positive attitude, etc). Some NTs do not go by the facts but by their own subject and personal opinions.

League_girl, notice the first sentence here. http://home.xnet.com/~ansible/attitude.html

"Attitude is more important than the facts." At a previous job I had in which I had to set up computers at different schools I noticed this quote. I was aghast at this quote. What does this mean. As long as I have a positive attitude I can truthfully believe that 2+2=5 in our base 10 system. I can do this as long as it feels good to me.

I think feelngs are so stupid and I keep being told feelings are just as important but what if their feelings are wrong?

Heck if someone were to say something to me and I got upset because I got offended or thought I was being shot down, then that person apologized and explained what their intention was and I stayed upset? That be stupid of me. I just calm down and feel better after hearing the facts. I can understand that people shut down and are unable to listen because their emotions are in the way (I recently learned that one) but when they feel better, they should be able to listen because their emotions aren't as strong and they aren't as upset.

I just avoid anyone who takes things the wrong way and not listen. Same as online.

Heck I have read we are in control of our emotions. I mean 'we' as in everyone.

This guy is SERIOUSLY f***ed up

He is the self appointed Chief of the 'Feelings' Police.........

1. How does he presume to KNOW if everyone is feeling right

2. Who the f**k voted for him anyway


Doesn't this just make you yearn to be an NT?

Last edited by Blindspot149 on 11 Aug 2010, 8:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, it does piss me off, but I have decided to give it up. Not only am I rejected to the next meet, but I will also be rejected to the meet after the next meet. The hatred will go on and on, and I can do nothing about it. I cannot demand someone to stop having certain feelings. The rejection is based on one of the interpretation that some behaviour can have, as I explained. More and more people will find this ridiculous, and will finally choose my side.

I partly was thinking of organizing a meeting myself. I cannot be rejected, and women that don't dislike me, will come. If they decided not to come, it might be a date when they will be occupied. There are already 11 other people wanting to come. That is quite an amount in a pretty short time. So there are definitely people that do like me. Some of them are even mothers of autistic children. They see common things in behaviour between their children and me. Really, there are a lot of NT people that do like me, which significantly reduces my anger.

Blindspot,

It is actually a she, who sent me the mail (which I translated from Dutch into English), and who rejected me. She also thought that I obscenely watched at the women's boobs.

Way to go. If the existing gatherings are useless, create your own.

If anybody ever finds out how long a guy is allowed to watch a badge on a pair of boobs, please let me know. Does it depend on how well-covered the boobs are, and how unusual the badge is?

^



Once in a blue moon I will get a 'certain flashback'- a cascading thought in an epiphany of a prior faux pas, or by someone connecting the dots for me .
And in the latter sometimes this can explode as an eruption from a volcano, when the time is ripe for the outburst- youch!

The thing is with sexual harassment; it is ALWAYS by perception. Whether your intentions were bad or good, if you are perceived as having committed S/H then you have committed it. Its an unjust system, especially for aspies with eye contact, body language and speech issues, but S/H will always be defined by the person on the receiving end.

When i was 13 i was placed in a different class because of one of my tics (touching upper lip to my nose) it was perceived as making a kissing face and the same girl sat across from me the entire time i was in that class. I was told that regardless, the victim defines the crime

My AS got me fired once, and almost got me fired several times. Im not disabled enough for SSI, and even though i make less than the povery level, i cant qualify for state health insurance, i work 40 hours a week, the state suggested i get second job to buy my own health insurance.

The issue nearly ended. It all boiled down to the following:

- The women misinterpreted my way of looking to her badge;
- She misinterpreted my standing up from the table as getting angre because I wouldn't agree with what she was saying. She wasn't saying anything. I stood up, possibly to go to the toilet, or to talk with other people than those near me at the table. When I stand up to go to the toilet, I only say "Excuse me, I must go to the toilet," when I am in conversation to someone, or when I am interrupting eating. When I am not in a converation, I just go, without saying anything;
- And maybe I pushed her aside, but that is because I didn't see her, not because I would want to be aggressive. She didn't say that I shouldn't do that. The reason for her to say nothing was my autism. That is wrong, because I want people to tell me that I do things wrong. Then they will get an apology and they immediately would know when I was doing it unintendedly or with purpose (because I would b e angry);
- The issue got an own life. People start gossiping, and start telling lies;
- Someone that agreed about the decision of the organization to deny me from the party, unintendedly said that I didn't amything that could be interpreted as sexual harassment by anyone;
- One of the women wrote on the forum that she called me someone that commited a sexual crime c.q. sexual harassment. Later on she wrote that I wasn't harassing anyone sexually, and she apologized towards me. I accepted her apology;
- The problem is that some women that should do the same, apologizing for lying and gossiping about me, chosed to say nothing and change their user names on the forum instead.

It will be silent for the time being but the soap will continue on the 18th of September when the party will start. What will the people say on the 19th of September? Will the soap continue? Who knows? It will likely be a party whose atmosphere may be heavily affected by the issue. I.e. it won't be a normal party. Many people already told me that they prefer to go to my party than to that party.

In the meantime I am investigating who and how many people will be interested in the party that I and another NT woman will organize. While I am writing this message, there are 38 other people that told me they want to come. If there is a date, it is possible that few of them say: "Sorry, Hans, I have another appointment, I won't be able to come." I am very glad and very happy that 38 others are interested in the party that I and the NT woman are organizing, and will likely be in Ocotober or November (and not in February 2011, I was thinking of in the first instance).