Why do many autistics try to go at an NT pace?

Post Reply New Topic

I think it's best to work around the NT world using our strengths. If we try to be NT, we'll only be second rate. Aspies who try to be NT are also the people who burn out.

I have extreme hyperfocus that allows me to accomplish so much in so little time (when I'm in that particular mood). If I want to learn something or get something done, I don't need breaks as much as an NT would. I keep going at a rapid pace until my goal is accomplished. In addition, my AS has given me a phenomenal memory as well as fluid intelligence involving logic, reasoning, and pattern recognition. Studies have shown that autistic children are better at recognizing cause and effect than both NT children and children with Down Syndrome.

Oh, but there are. You just gotta compromise some and be accessible to NTs to use what you have. It's a game everyone has to be somewhat good at or you get put on the bench and aren't allowed to play. You don't have to be the best, but you do have to pass.

I used to, but I don't anymore. I'm guessing that it's because a lot of us are taught, from an early age, that we should be "normal".

I'm glad you like yourself enough not to give in anymore . I think we should ignore that pressure because we'll never be normal. Trying to be neurotypical won't fool anyone for long; it will only end up burning us out. It's far better to be ourselves.

aaaaaaagh!

there i am.

As several others have said, we don't have a choice. If I could have, I'd be out of college right now. I got Post High School rankings on all my standardized tests in 6th grade. But my mom didn't want to homeschool me or send me to the local ACE (Accellerated Christian Education) school because she was worried about my nonexistant social life. I also could have been able to graduate a year early (my school requires four more credits than the local public schools), but my parents nixed that idea as well; well, they didn't completely nix it, but I wouldn't have been able to go to a legitimate college until I turned 18 for some ret*d reason. So here I am, stuck as a senior when I should be able to move on with my life, because I didn't have a flipping choice in the matter.

I teach my 8 year old son to live in an NT world when he is in public and to follow rules.

At home we encourage him to be autistic, lol (we let him alone)

I feel it is imperative he learn to live in an nt world on the outside for his own sake and for the future. however we let him be as autistic as he wants when no one is looking.

Keeping up with the Jonesing topic

I am glad I am not like "many autistics".

Last edited by sartresue on 08 Sep 2010, 8:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That's pretty much the way I was raised. My mom explained how to "live in an NT world" in public and (eventually) the lessons took.



"Game" is right--I've been thinking of life in general as a game for a very long time, and it's served me well to do so.

Take a look at the love and dating board. That's why.

Even the most hardcore militant aspie can't live alone. Everyone must fit in a society, or it's cabin-in-the-woods for them. One or the other. Trouble is, some think they can have it both ways. That just leads to life of misery.

Tyranny of the majority... "history" is written by the victors (in this case, NTs)... etc. While you can lobby for the AS cause and petition state/national governments to formally recognize and incorporate it into their various IEP/alternative programs, anti-discrimination acts, etc., you can't logically expect a paradigm shift to accommodate about 1% of the population. And while I also agree that it's important for Aspies to retain their individuality (which is inevitable, anyhow, so why try to fight it?), it's equally important, for both success and happiness in life (however one decides to measure that), that one learns to assimilate into and even embrace the rest of the world. Rather than alienating and isolating ourselves (I have not been diagnosed and my current psychiatrist has thus far refused to diagnose me with it, but I have my suspicions, so I'll include myself here), I ask you: why not try to at least appear normal to those you meet in everyday life, to pass for one of them, if only for long enough to establish your uniqueness? While I am all for accepting reality--and yourself--I think one would be ill-advised, in this case, to simply accept a neurological abnormality that carries with it a considerable stigma/"unknown" factor to those who aren't familiar/comfortable with it (and who also happen to comprise 99% of the population) and not make serious attempts to modify their behavior. Yes, it'll be incredibly tough for a while--and perhaps permanently--but I also think that's a relatively small price to pay for getting "access" to a lot of the institutions and people that we so desperately do need access to and recognition from. After all, consider the fact that even with something like Asperger's, you're still sane, intelligent, and have a ton to offer the world. It could be a lot worse.

OK, off my soapbox...

A book by Lianne Holliday Willey titled "pretending to be normal" should be a good resource on this topic. I haven't read it, but I'm sure it talks about this thread as well.

I agree. I see lots of people on here complaining about their AS and going on about how they want to be more NT, but the fact is it ain't gonna happen. It's much more productive and easier to do things your way at your pace.

That's where I am now. I used to try to match NT pace, before I knew about the spectrum. It seemed normal, like that's what I should be doing. But I kept burning out.

Now that I know what's really going on, I'm spending more time trying to figure out what my "brand" of AS is, and how to work best with it, rather than against it.

It's not about giving up and saying, "Oh well, I have Asperger's, so there's no point it trying."

It's about, "Hey! I have Asperger's! I really AM different. Now, how can I work with it and get some things done I've always wanted to do, but so far haven't been able to?"