You're being rude!

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You really know how to take a ball and run with it, don't you? If anyone should grow up, I think it is you for goodness sakes. Who appointed you judge and jury? Will it be executioner next? Your Superiority Complex is most unbecoming. You're making false accusations of me now and have gone very far in your assertions about me. I suggest you get a shovel and start digging your own grave instead attempting to dig others'.

Nah... Sod it... I deleted it, weren't comfortable saying it bla bla bla, yea.

.ZF

That is not an accurate assessment, but you are entitled to your opinion.

It's okay to say what you think. I didn't have any problem with it.

You know what? I had a rant started in reply, but was reminded by this...



...that perhaps what is happening now between you and I right now is a perfect example of how the kind of toxicity I mentioned can happen. Rather than flinging it back, would you mind if we both back the truck up helping me to figure out where this went wrong to begin with? It's not hard to find, because the thread isn't that long yet, where I first said you were being rude. It has occurred to me though, that before I said that, you may have already considered something I said as rude. The problem is, if that's true, I don't know what it was I said you found to be rude.

I presume we're both on the spectrum. I presume we've both answered the question "Other people frequently tell me that what I've said is impolite, even though I think it is polite." I've always answered that question with a definitive "Yes." I wonder, if you wouldn't mind sharing, what your answer is to the same question.

I'm not looking to pin you down to anything. I'm looking for what went wrong here, and not to lay blame. Just to understand.

I found your approach to be rude and said as much. That's just my opinion, and may not have been your intention. I am curios whether you have, as I have, often heard that you are being rude when you don't believe you are.

Maybe you didn't think you were, and that hadn't occurred to me. I did find it rather hard to believe you didn't know, and it wasn't intentional. Forgetting some of the very things I pointed out in my own original post. That's not unusual for me (and I suspect you already know that). It's also not unusual for me to say things others find rude, and not realize it too.

WAS there something I said, before I told you you were being rude, that YOU found rude?

Seriously. I really want to know. Because I don't always, and won't know if others don't point it out to me.

At first I was thinking what was happening between you and I was derailing the thread, but now I realize it's a case in point, and right on track.

Are you willing to help me out? Where did I go wrong?

I don't think MrXxx is being judge and jury. The thread expresses a feeling that has come up a lot recently on WP, so he's certainly not alone.

I'm guessing other people don't want to enter the thread because it's turned into an argument between two people. And I think I'm perhaps stepping into a minefield here, but so be it.

I'm not in an argument with anyone. I'm stating my opinions just the same as everyone else. I'm not sure what is wrong with that.

Had you read my last post before posting this?

I don't want to read what you have to say anymore. The next will be a character assassination and I'm just not that into it. I was merely giving my viewpoint.

You're response doesn't surprise me. I'm not sure I believe the first statement, since the very first time I can remember you responding to anything I've posted,



(original context here: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt137742.html)

If you were so bored with me to begin with, why have you spent so much time seeking out this thread, accusing me of being WP's "spokesperson" (a claim I have NEVER made)?



So, it's okay for other users here to say what they think, but not me? That is the insinuation you made when you remarked:



What I had said that that was a response to, was not speaking for anyone. It was an observation from reading many posts over the past few weeks. I spoke for no one but myself and what I observed. "Is that too confusing?"


I even went so far as to ask for your help in understanding how I might have offended you:



To which you responded:



Effectively saying you aren't even interested in helping me to understand why you have a problem with me, or what I may have said or done to illicit the kind of responses you've made to my posts.

You are wrong on your second point too. I will not assassinate your character. You don't seem to need any help in that department. Your own words are enough.

I was merely giving my view point as well. If we aren't supposed to have a problem with that, then you shouldn't have a problem with anyone else doing so, but it sure looks to me like you do.

Interesting twist this thread took. Certainly not what I planned, and ironic as all hell. It seems (I hope), that the "non existent" argument is over.

Any chance this thing can get back on track now?

"Other people frequently tell me that what I've said is impolite, even though I think it is polite." (Strongly agree, slightly agree, slightly disagree, strongly disagree)

For those of you who do strongly agree with the above, do you think this is a big part of what causes so much of the arguing and slamming on WP?

(on your part and/or the part of others?)

How do you deal with it?

Strongly disagree. I never come across as being rude when I don't try to be.



No. People just have different opinions, and some issues hit closer to home than others. Some people also know how to hit where it hurts and tend to say things they may (or may not) later regret in the heat of the moment. Among people who put a high value on "intelligence," I've also noticed being considerate to someone's feelings is thought to be a weakness of sorts, and being downright rude is something they actually take pride in as long as they're "just stating a fact." Sometimes I'm convinced these people also get an ego boost when they get a rise out of someone who responds to them with anger than with "logic," since people who can't remain calm obviously think with their heart rather than with their head and therefore have a low IQ.

(And when I say "these people," I really mean "I.")

People have said I was rude and I don't think I was.

I have been accused of it here too but I didn't really care. I was happy when someone else stood up for me about my post I wrote.

I have also been accused of insulting people here and I am still baffled by it but I also consider that may be a lie just to make me feel guilty. Same as when I got told I kept doing personal attacks here but excuse me, I never kept getting PMs about it from the mods and even if I did keep getting them regarding "insults" and "personal attacks" I would have just left the forum not putting up with that s**t. I would just think I was being gunned down and targeted for my opinions and point of views just so they ban me and I would have just left before it happened. I have heard of other members leaving this forum due to that reason because I see them say it elsewhere.

I also notice people being called trolls here for things I say and I have no idea why it makes them a troll. All I see is them expressing themselves and having opinions. I wonder if that has to do with AS thinking and when someone doesn't agree with you or if you don't like their thoughts, you view them as a troll. But NTs do that too so to me it's no different when aspies do it. Yeah there are quite a few people here who are depressed and bitter so they say things that are disturbing but their comments don't bother me. I don't think it makes them trolls.

Not Good:
Person A: I think that... etc etc etc
Person B: That's stupid

Much Better:
Person A: I think that...etc etc etc
Person B: I disagree with you because ... etc etc etc


So which one is going to continue the discussion of the topic at hand and which is going to devolve into another drama fest?
Hmm?

But this exchange has a little hook in it that sounds at best a little smarty pants. lol I love that saying. But really why the polite mean hook?? Just an innocent opinion, humm sorry hear the hook. Ok, MrXxx doesn't take offense....Mr Xxx you get a point.

I think it is a great topic. I am careful to reread my posts and often delete them because I sound like a total b***h, when I feel like I am being honest and stating a fact. I also delete them because I'm not so in love with myself that I feel my opinion is always prolific, or even needed. Sometimes I have no way to express myself that doesn't have a hook. I have bad delivery, blunt, and it could be taken wrong. I don't mean to offend but I do. I don't need to ever make 'one liners' that could incite or mock anyone. It does feel like it happens often here, I said OFTEN it is open season on this forum. I have seen an unusual amount of plain meaness, for no other reason that to be mean. There isn't much warmth on this site for anyone except cool girls, who already have had their share of the world's warmth, like all their lives. Same girls get the same attention on most sites on the internet. Forums are like beauty pagents.

I wish it was different. I wish wp was a place where the world didn't push in. But it isn't exempt from anything. It is perfectly acceptable to tear down anyone at any time, especially if the person has been labled a geek by the cool ones. This forum embraces individuals, like every forum. WP is just like any other active forum.


it is too bad it isn't a safe place to be embraced and understood, liked and accepted...it is hard to live with this out in the world everyday, but pretty much just as hard to live with it here

I vote MrXxx as spokesperson for wrong planet!