Can being judgemental be an AS trait?

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18 Sep 2010, 9:05 pm

Being judgmental is not an AS trait, it's a human trait. As a species, we make value judgments on pretty much everything.



Guitar_Girl
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19 Sep 2010, 5:30 am

I have that problem. I judge other people very harshly.



Mysty
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19 Sep 2010, 8:00 am

Aimless wrote:
Mysty wrote:
No, but I'm thinking, those with AS will tend to be judgmental differently than average folk.


How is that? Not arguing, just curious.


Well, a person with AS is less likely to temper their judgment due to social factors. And less likely to be influenced by social factors.


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CockneyRebel
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19 Sep 2010, 9:23 am

Being judgemental seems like a human trait, to me.


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19 Sep 2010, 11:09 am

I think being judgemental is very much an aspie trait. I think it's related to the black and white thinking. What another person is doing is either right or wrong, the shades of grey in the middle don't exist for many aspies.



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19 Sep 2010, 1:43 pm

I am autistic and I do not have black and white thinking. I don't feel I am qualified in most instances to judge another and don't make it a practice.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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19 Sep 2010, 1:51 pm

KevinLA wrote:
I am VERY judgemental.

I hate myself for it. What can I do to stop?

Yeah, me too. It's like a compulsion and it's difficult to be swayed. I don't know if it's a trait or not, it's just the way I am. What you can do to stop it? You can try staying quiet whenever you feel the urge to express your opinion on what someone else is telling you. I do that a lot, yet stuff still manages to slip out when I am not being vigilant to keep quiet. I'm better at holding my tongue than I used to be, but I am not perfect.
Another thing you can try is thinking about something a different way, or rationalize what someone else is doing that you don't like. Then, there's the "put yourself in someone else's shoes" exercise. You start off by thinking what it's like to be them, is it easy, difficult. Are they having a rough time. Then consider whether being judgmental is helping or hurting them. You can decide if it's worth being judgmental over, or if you should just let it go.



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29 May 2017, 9:50 pm

the AS trait is that autists tend to see things in black and white. (dichotomous thinking). that could be judgmental.

myers briggs type: INTJ or INTP. the "J" stands for judgmental. "p" for perceptive.

sometimes, it is necessary to make decisions based on incomplete evidence. :twisted: that requires a judgment. for example, if someone invites me in his car, then i have to make the decision of whether or not to do that. and i ain't psychic or telepathic. so i do not know if he is planning to rape me. but, based on the current information available, does it seem rational to believe that he will rape me.

quite frankly, almost everyone i have ever interacted with acts extremely judgmental. neurotypical and autistic. extroverts and introverts. just that introverts are not as vocal about their judgments as extroverts.

and positive judgments are just as judgmental as negative ones.

be careful about assuming things you do not know, but. sometimes it is necessary to make a practical assumption for a functional purpose. but at least be aware that you do not "know" it per se.

likewise, i feel like i am not nearly judgmental enough. it's like i accept everyone and everything as is. while they have the nerve to flap their traps at me.

last week, i was walking the regular rote. saw a former high school swim coach. "you look better as a guy than a girl," he had the nerve to tell me. then he proceeded to tell me that only poor young black men sag their pants. (racist, classist statement.) then he asked if i was attracted to men or women.

and i did not feel free to ask/tell him those things.

besides, if i were to have asked/told him what he told me, then, like typical neurotypical fashion, he could've told me it was "none of your business!", and "that's disrespectful!". as if "disrespectful" is a trump card that vetoes anything, just b/c the speaker does not like it.

seriously. superficial. i did not ask how i look. and, maybe he was expecting me to say "thank you" when he told me "you look better as a guy than a girl."

seriously.

besides, if you do not make judgmental statements, then how can you make conversation or socially interact with someone? maybe it's possible, but almost nobody i have ever interacted with keeps judgments to a minimum.

likewise, sometimes the vocal inflection and attitudes, expressed with questions are also judgmental. like some homophobe had the nerve to ask "THAT IS A GIRL?" (about me). as if he did not believe or like it. besides, he did not bother using the word "female" or "woman". just "girl". how sexist. cisgender males the same age get called "guys", not "boys". seriously.

and sometimes precious lil "people" judge, but they do not talk about it. they look me up and down. nonverbal communication.

and sometimes they do not tell you their judgment but they tell someone else.

to stop being so judgmental, note the difference between opinion and fact.

even better, notice when your judgments end up wrong.

for instance, when i was 19 years old, i met a scrawny, academically smart, socially adept, seemingly nice, cisgender white man. and i put the "halo effect" on him. i was too judgmental. and i was incorrect. he turned out homophobic.

so i know that many times i make wrongful judgments.

so now i am 34 years old.

so when i notice i made a judgment, i also remind myself all the times i was wrong.

and then i pretty much avoid everyone i can. except for functional purposes.

b/c if you judge someone as bad, and you are wrong, and you avoid them, nothing drastic happens. that otherwise would not have happened.

if you judge someone as good (like i did), and you interact with them, and you end up wrong. then drastic things happen.

it has been over 10 years, 500 miles away, when he royally told me off. and i still obsess over it. every. single. day.

and it ain't my fault that he is homophobic. but it was my fault for voluntarily and socially interacting with him. b/c i initiated contact. and he did not do anything illegal.



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30 May 2017, 1:06 am

I thought NTs were the ones that judged others. :?


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30 May 2017, 2:26 am

Being judgemental is a trait of human beings in general. I guarantee every person has judged somebody at one point.

However, constantly judging people to make yourself feel better crosses the line and is in no way related to AS. There is nothing I hate more then somebody who is constantly putting other peolI honestly feel like the trait is less prominent is most aspies.

Our (sometimes) brutal honesty could be mistaken for being judgemental.


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30 May 2017, 5:12 am

I am not sure what you mean by being judgemental. What's the definition? Where do you put the line?

I never considered myself as a judgemental person but I might be as well - I mean, everyone can sound judgemental at times. Even right now as I am stating an opinion you might think I am judging you and I indeed am, because judging = stating ones opinion based on the little information available.

But being judgemental also involves lack of tolerance an understanding for people we judged are "bad"... and generally judging people as "good" and "bad" based on our personal criteria. Thats unlike me. I might judge "the kid is spoiled" or "the reckless driver is going to kill someone someday" but I don't call them "bad" or anything - those opinions are like "it's windy today". They seem true at the very moment but I could care less and I am aware my opinion might as well be a BS because I don't know them - the kid might have a bad mood due to sickness and the driver might be in a real hurry today but he doesn't usually drive like that.

I don't think being judgemental in the second sense is an AS thing. More like a personality thing. The "J"(coming from strong Fe and Te) in MBTI.



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30 May 2017, 8:49 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
Being judgemental seems like a human trait, to me.


That's what I always thought too. But I guess when it comes to autism internet forums, everything a human can possibly do is an Aspie trait.


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30 May 2017, 9:18 am

People always turned out to be as*holes, judging or not. There are probably only two people I know who weren't mean to me if I did something wrong. I don't care if I'm judgemental or not anymore, everyone is.