the AS trait is that autists tend to see things in black and white. (dichotomous thinking). that could be judgmental.
myers briggs type: INTJ or INTP. the "J" stands for judgmental. "p" for perceptive.
sometimes, it is necessary to make decisions based on incomplete evidence.
that requires a judgment. for example, if someone invites me in his car, then i have to make the decision of whether or not to do that. and i ain't psychic or telepathic. so i do not know if he is planning to rape me. but, based on the current information available, does it seem rational to believe that he will rape me.
quite frankly, almost everyone i have ever interacted with acts extremely judgmental. neurotypical and autistic. extroverts and introverts. just that introverts are not as vocal about their judgments as extroverts.
and positive judgments are just as judgmental as negative ones.
be careful about assuming things you do not know, but. sometimes it is necessary to make a practical assumption for a functional purpose. but at least be aware that you do not "know" it per se.
likewise, i feel like i am not nearly judgmental enough. it's like i accept everyone and everything as is. while they have the nerve to flap their traps at me.
last week, i was walking the regular rote. saw a former high school swim coach. "you look better as a guy than a girl," he had the nerve to tell me. then he proceeded to tell me that only poor young black men sag their pants. (racist, classist statement.) then he asked if i was attracted to men or women.
and i did not feel free to ask/tell him those things.
besides, if i were to have asked/told him what he told me, then, like typical neurotypical fashion, he could've told me it was "none of your business!", and "that's disrespectful!". as if "disrespectful" is a trump card that vetoes anything, just b/c the speaker does not like it.
seriously. superficial. i did not ask how i look. and, maybe he was expecting me to say "thank you" when he told me "you look better as a guy than a girl."
seriously.
besides, if you do not make judgmental statements, then how can you make conversation or socially interact with someone? maybe it's possible, but almost nobody i have ever interacted with keeps judgments to a minimum.
likewise, sometimes the vocal inflection and attitudes, expressed with questions are also judgmental. like some homophobe had the nerve to ask "THAT IS A GIRL?" (about me). as if he did not believe or like it. besides, he did not bother using the word "female" or "woman". just "girl". how sexist. cisgender males the same age get called "guys", not "boys". seriously.
and sometimes precious lil "people" judge, but they do not talk about it. they look me up and down. nonverbal communication.
and sometimes they do not tell you their judgment but they tell someone else.
to stop being so judgmental, note the difference between opinion and fact.
even better, notice when your judgments end up wrong.
for instance, when i was 19 years old, i met a scrawny, academically smart, socially adept, seemingly nice, cisgender white man. and i put the "halo effect" on him. i was too judgmental. and i was incorrect. he turned out homophobic.
so i know that many times i make wrongful judgments.
so now i am 34 years old.
so when i notice i made a judgment, i also remind myself all the times i was wrong.
and then i pretty much avoid everyone i can. except for functional purposes.
b/c if you judge someone as bad, and you are wrong, and you avoid them, nothing drastic happens. that otherwise would not have happened.
if you judge someone as good (like i did), and you interact with them, and you end up wrong. then drastic things happen.
it has been over 10 years, 500 miles away, when he royally told me off. and i still obsess over it. every. single. day.
and it ain't my fault that he is homophobic. but it was my fault for voluntarily and socially interacting with him. b/c i initiated contact. and he did not do anything illegal.