"No, you don't have it...."

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You aren't the failure, your psychologist is.

It was his JOB to LISTEN to you, and he did not. That is unprofessional and inappropriate. I wouldn't trust his conclusions. There ARE professionals out there who can do their job; if you have the need to have a professional answer on this (not everyone does, sometimes one can be happy with their own assessment), then find one.

Either your autist or not, your pshychiatrist suck, go watch for someone more competent.

I was told by psychiatrists etc that I couldn't have AS since I had a (then) fiance, was at university and had friends. They also said they were not experts in ASD's. These were speculations from professionals, not part of a diagnostic assessment. I never got assessed on the nhs (UK).

After a few years of failed attempts to get assessed at all, I ended up paying privately for assessment. I got a proper assessment and was diagnosed with AS a month ago.

My opinion was always that I would accept a diagnosis (or a negative diagnosis e.g. not having AS) when I was assessed by professionals who could then explain their decision to me based on my traits (or lack of) and knowledge of AS. If they couldn't do this, they surely couldn't be knowledgeable enough in AS to make the decision.

It's annoying though when people assume AS = no friends, no higher education etc. Unfortunately it happens all the time and not just with AS. I'm curently reading about dyslexia and I'm fascinated to discover the amazing different abilities in dyslexic thinking and the implications, when previously I joined the vast majority of non-dyslexic people in thinking, 'Dyslexia is the lack of ability to read and write'. People say to dyslexic people, 'But you have a degree, you can read, how can you claim to be dyslexic?' Similar scenario to us with AS or suspected AS. People think, 'AS is inability in being social' and they say, 'But you have a husband and a job, how can you have AS?'

That said, part of the diagnosis is to do with having the traits of AS cause real-time problems. For me it's unemployment, currently, and only just getting my degree after some written warnings, things like that. If someone has AS except that it wasn't giving them any clinically significant problems, I guess that could be a professional reason to say, 'You are doing ok, you don't have AS'. But ideally that would need to be explained and discussed very well, with clear knowledge of AS.

I think the only reason people haven't told me I don't have Aspergers is that I'm 6'3 and I look like I would quite cheerfully snap someone's neck. Not that I ever would (all forms of violence- ESPECIALLY verbal I find v distressing).
Quite simply people are too busy and too tired to deal with the minutae of understanding; they're too driven by their own needs desires motivations and prejudices; I doubt I'll ever have the energy to explain to someone (even to someone very sympathetic) the intracacies of understanding the inner workings of Aspergers.
A case is my sister has now got an Aspie child who has her very very strong temper; he displays some v typical Aspergers traits and is needless to say v hard work. I was nothing like this as a child; in fact I have almost zero ability to deal with hostility and conflict even at 39. So the response is- from my OWN FAMILY- that i can't have Aspergers because I didn't act out like my nephew. Because that's what you have to do- be violent- to be Aspie.
Very annoying...
I guess If you need the psychiatric input for your work then look for someone more intelligent for starters. Maybe someone who has strong psychology leanings, who perhaps is more empathic to the individual expressions of Aspergers (ask them what their interpretation of spectrum is, that may give you some indication) . You'll probably need to be a bit didactic (did I mention I look fierce? till they really fully appreciate who you are and how Aspergers manifests itself in your life...
If it doesn't have to be a psychiatrist then steer towards the more psychological areas where the emphasis can then be placed on strategies for coping, either in Language or Cognitive or Behavioural. This is an option for me cos the antidepressants I'm on I can get from my standard doctor, I don't know how it works where you are.
Hope this helps....