31 May 2006, 2:44 pm
31 May 2006, 2:54 pm
31 May 2006, 3:57 pm
01 Jun 2006, 12:51 am
01 Jun 2006, 2:45 pm
02 Jun 2006, 6:47 am
I would appreciate advice.
The cause of this problem:
My obsession with computer games, psychology, and feral cat rescue took up most of my time; I made the bad decision of pursuing my special interests rather than going to class or studying. My depression compounded the problem in that depression causes a lack of motivation, a reluctance to leave the safe environment of your room, and an even lower tolerance for disappointment and frustration than the usual Aspie low tolerance. My college Academic Assistance department is used to dealing with only common problems like AD/HD or dyslexia. They have had only one other AS student, and he left under circumstances similar to mine. Consequently, they are generalists and have no AS specialists; while they are sincere and attempt to be helpful, the college is private and cannot pay for referrals to specialists. I have been diagnosed with AS for only two months; consequently, I spent a lot of time without access to helpful resources which might have allowed me to compensate for my major problem--the special interests which take up all my time.Financial problems:
I have approximately $100,000 in college loan debt. Without a degree, I will be unable to obtain a job which will allow me to pay off this debt. I need to provide for myself somehow; but multiple attempts to hold various summer jobs resulted in failure by the end of the summer, when I became very uninterested and stressed by a repetitive, monotonous, sometimes physically exhausting job. Sensory problems--touch, smell, and sound--have played a part as well; but these are minor compared to the problems I hear about from most Aspies. Once the job became stressful enough, I would often become distressed at the thought that I would have to go to work that day; and absenteeism and tardiness increased to the point that my employers discussed the possibility of termination. I have actually never been fired. I am attending group and individual counseling, each once a week. These are partially paid for by the government--I pay 5% of the list price for them--but are still a drain on my finances. My orphan's pension (paid by the government after the death of my father), which has until now paid for some of my living expenses, will be discontinued at the end of this month, as I will no longer be a student.Emotional problems:
I am afraid to tell my mother what has happened. She has never been supportive of my seeking psychiatric help, or believed that I have AS; but she does, in her odd way, love me. I have been somewhat suicidal lately. My intelligence is my main asset; and if I am unable to even graduate from college, do I really have any assets at all? Disappointment, frustration, anger: The usual negative emotions. I have been dealing with them by attempting not to think about them, usually by involving myself in a computer game, reading, or posting on online forums. I am hoping that I will avoid using maladaptive coping mechanisms (self-injury, overeating, etc.); but this is not certain yet. I cannot live at home, for reasons I do not have the time to explain.My Advantages & Strategies Already Pursued
I have three adult (over 30) friends who are willing to provide help. One works at a nearby restaurant, another at the college cashier's office, and another at a local dollar store. The woman who works at the restaurant (I have forgotten her name) has given me the number of a place that seems to provide help for people with Asperger's. Have any of you heard of this, and what do you think about it? TEACCH My roommate, who has sensory integration problems and PTSD (but not an ASD), is rather sympathetic to me. When I returned from getting the news that I had been suspended, she sat through a 2-hour meltdown in which I cried uncontrollably. I am going to give her a thank-you card and a refrigerator magnet with a golden retriever on it. I have access to government counseling. While they are not experts at Asperger Syndrome or autism (my counselor has met and assessed, though never counseled, Aspies before me), they are better than nothing. I am capable of living on my own, though not of holding an uninteresting job. I can also communicate well, including metaphors, figures of speech, polite expressions, and imitation of small talk (which bores me nevertheless). I have above average intelligence and a very logical mind. I am used to dealing with depression (rather than being blindsided by it). I have no need for social relationships; I am content with aloneness. Being asexual, I do not need romantic relationships. Still, friendships are beneficial; and I appreciate the ones I have.Can you give me advice?
interesting.. that sounds a lot like me, scary actually that sounds just like me..except i am 19 and not in uni yet
02 Jun 2006, 1:56 pm
02 Jun 2006, 2:03 pm
02 Jun 2006, 3:22 pm
02 Jun 2006, 3:32 pm
03 Jun 2006, 11:13 am
28 Jun 2006, 4:33 pm
29 Jun 2006, 5:31 pm
Sounds eerily like me, too... my short stay at college was disastrous, I forgot I had classes constantly, or had trouble keeping track of when to go to them, I preferred to stay in the computer lab all day playing video games instead of getting anything useful done, and eventually the school (rightfully so) booted me, and financial aid (rightfully so) said "no way, we're not gonna touch you with a ten-foot pole anymore! We want a refund!! !"
Fortunately, I had only $10,000 to $16,000 in loans, which I paid off pretty quickly by staying at home with a series of minimum-wage jobs, and paying my parents about $400 rent a month and using the rest to pay back the loans.
I'm like you, I get focuses that last for a year or two, and then I burn out on them and move on to something else. That does make getting a college degree for something kind of difficult - by the time you do complete college training, your disgusted with the subject and can't bear spending the rest of your life with it 
I assumed that, because of the fact that I focussed in on computers for several years, that maybe work involving computers would be ideal for me, and I considered going back to school to get a degree in that. I'm glad I didn't: I spent some time fixing my neighbors' computers as a kind of second-job, and quickly realized I couldn't stand doing that for a living.
A DEGREE DOES NOT, DOES NOT, DOES NOT = INTELLIGENCE!! !
In fact, just the opposite in many cases: some of the most useless 
I've ever had to work with had degrees in, for example, in cooking. They got paid more, to sit around and chat with the bosses in the office and help embezzle profits and supplies, but couldn't even fix a proper serving of scrambled eggs When I was goofing off in the computer labs all day, although I was completely self-taught in computers (I missed all but one of my computer classes), I was MUCH better at fixing the lab's computers for free than the IT stooge with a degree was with a salary. (They were paying that guy for his degree, but they could have saved money and gotten more done by paying me minimum wage to do the same thing for two years - and I could have saved myself a lot of money in student loans and gotten compensated for something I was good at, if I'd done that instead of wasting $10,000 or so on college!)
And few really successful people have ever completed college, anyway. A good way to to fit squarely and solidly into the system if you are capable of it, but you have to be capable of playing by all the rules. In a way, college is one of the biggest, most successful scams of all times: the only thing it proves is that you were willing to spend enough money to get the stupid piece of paper, which tells employers that you must be more serious and dedicated about getting the job than anyone else, not that you're going to be better at it than anyone else.
I can't speak for you, but I'm beginning to conclude to my complete satisfaction that college isn't in the cards for my future, whatever it is! Don't let me discourage you if you are certain that getting that degree is the only thing that's going to work for you, but do consider the possibility, that maybe there's a different way to go.
