Expressing yourself/ finding the right words

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yellowLedbetter
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12 Oct 2010, 11:48 am

Kaybee wrote:

Lecks wrote:

franisco wrote:

you're not a natural communicator. Natural communicators express their ideas in the simplest and most effective way possible. You cant do this. You compensate for your inability to express yourself in a simple and effective manner by being precise in your language choices. If the precise words are not available to you at the moment, you're left high and dry with no way to improvise. and an awkward silence. You probably wont use a word unless you're sure that it means what you mean it to mean. You'll dictionary.com it even if your 75% sure it will work

and people will think you're just speaking out of your arse. They'll think you're trying to sound smart. They may accuse you of not knowing what a word means and because you dont know the exact websters definition of that word you wont argue with them. You will look it up later on and feel satisfied because you were correct but no one will be there to share in your moment and they wouldn't care anyway. Your high school music teacher may insult your intelligence in front of the class because he doesn't know that "formulaic" is the correct word to use to describe that which sticks to a formula

and they will feel threatened by you because your big words make them feel small. And you will be envious of them because they dont have to consult the dictionary several times during a two and a half paragraph message board post

This, so unfeignedly this.

Agreed!! I was talking to my psychology professor the other day, as if that wasn't intimidating enough. I was asking her about serotonin syndrome and she said she hadn't heard of it so I had to explain it to her. Basically just picture a lot of stuttering and random words. It was okay because she's really open-minded and doesn't judge people so I was a little more comfortable. Still, I hate moments like those it's so embarassing.

I'll second that "this" (though I don't identify with that feeling of satisfaction after proving oneself right). Also, there's nothing quite like being looked down on or insulted because you naturally use good grammar and "big" words.

CaptainTrips222
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13 Oct 2010, 8:45 pm

Kaybee wrote:

Lecks wrote:

franisco wrote:

This, so unfeignedly this.

I'll second that "this" (though I don't identify with that feeling of satisfaction after proving oneself right). Also, there's nothing quite like being looked down on or insulted because you naturally use good grammar and "big" words.

Don't work at a call center then. Nothing but drug dealers and high school drop outs, peppered with a few washed up high school athletes.

Spam-I-Am
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20 Apr 2011, 12:10 am

thehandmedown wrote:

Ive always struggled with this, and most people think Im heartless and dont care about anything. Its not that I dont care, its that I dont know how to say or show that I care.

It almost seemed like you were talking about me here. My dad though once told me that sometimes remaining silent is one of the worst things we can do, and this is because our silence can create the impression that we just don't care. If you know someone is struggling with something, it is always good to talk to them about it. For instance, if you know someone who had a close friend of theirs pass away, you can always say, "I am sorry about your loss."

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auntblabby
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20 Apr 2011, 4:36 am

i have few problems expressing how i think and feel online, but F2F i am quite inept.

bumble
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20 Apr 2011, 5:31 am

I tend to be very verbose and can often take a long time to get to the point. At other times, with effort, I can be more concise, but it does not happen once I relax and return to my natural way of communicating. I can also digress a lot and forget what I was talking about mid sentence. All of those things can annoy and confuse people. I can sometimes find myself not being able to find a word I am looking for so will use a substitute instead or just say 'Um' a lot whilst I search for it when talking to someone.

I tend to be better at writing than speaking though as it gives me more time to think and if I am having trouble finding a word I have more time to figure it out. I can also edit a lot, which allows me to perfect my grammar and spelling and what I want to say etc. People really really hate it when you constantly edit your posts online though! They seem to believe you are being deceptive when what you are actually doing is trying to articulate yourself properly. I was very badly insulted on another forum board because of my constant editing whilst I tried to articulate exactly what I wanted to say, so I try not to do it as often now. I have an odd habit of proof reading after I hit send (I find it easier to proof read this way for some strange reason otherwise I will miss a lot of mistakes) and then making corrections afterwards.

I do not know if all of the above are just some strange quirks I have or if it could be related to an ASD but my apologies if I go into constant edit mode!

auntblabby
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20 Apr 2011, 6:18 am

if it's any comfort to you Bumble, i constantly edit also.

dossa
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20 Apr 2011, 10:03 am

I communicate poorly verbally. I used to think I was not such a terrible communicator, rather people were poor listeners. Turns out I was wrong. Most people do not think like I do so I say one thing, knowing what I mean and no one else gets it. It is not their problem, it is mine. It also does not help that I forget that everyone is not in the same mindset that I am. It is such a complicated sound dance, talking...

I like to think I do better with type speak, but even then when I think I have clearly said what I mean, I only succeed some of the times.

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