06 Jun 2006, 8:49 am
Enigmatic_Oddity wrote:
One-on-ones I can handle as long as the other person initiates the conversation. I'm not very good at initiating myself. Three people is ok but it's awkward if the other two talk about something I can't give input for.
For example, the other day I was in the hospital to see my mum who had just come out of surgery for an eye operation. I wanted to be there to support her, but her very talkative friend also came. So what ended up happening? Her friend talked to mum about 95% of the time we were there, and I couldn't say much because they were talking about curtains, the neighbours, their pets, the weather - all things I could only make little comments on at the most. I have the feeling now that the friend doesn't think much of me, because a lot of the time I was just listening to them talk without offering much input. Plus I don't know what mum thinks, but I'm sure it's not good either. So, sometimes three people is too much for me.
For example, the other day I was in the hospital to see my mum who had just come out of surgery for an eye operation. I wanted to be there to support her, but her very talkative friend also came. So what ended up happening? Her friend talked to mum about 95% of the time we were there, and I couldn't say much because they were talking about curtains, the neighbours, their pets, the weather - all things I could only make little comments on at the most. I have the feeling now that the friend doesn't think much of me, because a lot of the time I was just listening to them talk without offering much input. Plus I don't know what mum thinks, but I'm sure it's not good either. So, sometimes three people is too much for me.
Yeah i know exactly how u feel there..i guess it's alot different being with 1 family member and someone u don't really "talk" to as much. That's a different kind of company. I've experienced this, actually and yeh it isn't very nice mentally.
But with 2 other people that u know really well i guess u must feel more comfortable even though u ain't talking a fair deal? I suppose that's alot better than just being with 1 person or with ur mother and someone not so close like her friend.
With one-on-ones i think there is gonna be silence somewhere, so for me there is some reliance on them to maintain conversations without much pause, even if it changes the subject i feel much more comfortable.
If that all makes sense, sorry if it didn't lol
06 Jun 2006, 10:04 am
Baz wrote:
With one-on-ones i think there is gonna be silence somewhere, so for me there is some reliance on them to maintain conversations without much pause, even if it changes the subject i feel much more comfortable.
If that all makes sense, sorry if it didn't lol
If that all makes sense, sorry if it didn't lol
Yeah that makes sense to me. Most of the people I like are conversation initiators. When I talk to people like this, I can walk away feeling as if I'm not a social ret*d - actually sometimes I feel like I've achieved something socially. Whereas with other people I can spend a lot of time in agony because I can't think of what to say, or I think of something in response to something they have said but I have let the moment go by.
In fact, this difference in my approach to different people led me in high school to think of myself as having two personalities: one really talkative and silly personality which only manifested around 'conversation-initiator' types, and the aloof, quiet personality which came on whenever I was socially anxious or with a person who was not a 'conversation-initiator'. The former personality was more assertive and at ease, whereas the latter was more passive and agreeable.
08 Jun 2006, 8:46 am
08 Jun 2006, 9:55 am
09 Jun 2006, 8:55 am
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