Eye contact - I think I scare people

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You're welcome

About interacting with people, I also have trouble with smiling, even when I do smile there is still people who will ask me what's wrong or to cheer up lol.

What you do is amazing! Put a the link of your website in your WP profile

Try to do some smile training in front of the bathroom mirror, everyday

LOL. Yeah. That. I smile and babies cry.

So obvious now that you mention it. I always forget such things. Link added.




Ooo. I hate looking at myself in a mirror. I see a stranger looking back at me and it's very unnerving. Don't know if this is an aspie thing or not. Maybe just a generalization of my lack of confidence?

Not only when I look in the mirror, when I look at my hand I often ask myself what it that alien thing that understands what I want and even sometimes do what I order.

I think this kind of exercise is inexpensive to do: we go to the bathroom once a day. Try to compare your smiles with other:
George Clooney style: GOOD!
The Joker: BAD!
Julia Roberts: BAD! too

Why is Julia Roberts bad?

Truthfully, any smile by me that isn't connected to an actual thought is so fake looking that I looks like I'm being tortured (smile or we'll pull out another finger nail - bwhahahahaha).

Just a guess here, but I'd maybe say that it's not an issue with autism/Asperger's eye contact problems. It might be that people browsing artwork, don't want to be noticed at all, as they feel pressured. Especially if the eye contact is by the artist or seller. I used to fix up used TV sets, and sometimes ride along with a friend's Dad who sold regularly at a Los Angeles area swap meet. I'd lay out a few reconditioned TV sets for sale, and had pretty good luck selling them. I never approached or made eye contact with any of the potential buyers, until they came up with a question. Then I'd answer and make the best eye contact I could. I noticed that if I tried in any way to acknowledge a looker's presence, they'd walk away as if I had farted.

Another example of this, might be when you go to a car dealership. I have yet to meet anyone who says they like it when a salesperson rushes up as soon as you set foot over the dealership's property line. I like to go look at everything, and I don't want to talk to anybody unless I have a question or if I have decided of my own free will to buy.

Charles

When I look at her smile, I think she have a too wide mouth (compared to the height), it either seems unreal or fake when she smiles. (of course it's just a personal point of view)


And that's a good remark from kx250rider

I'm sure this is part of it. This is the difference between a good and bad salesman. A good salesman knows the right moment to push and the right moment to back off. I don't have any sense as to when that moment might be.

One thing I do is to actually work on a piece. People will stop and look , but then I have to shift my attention and drawing is very absorbing. So I probably miss opportunities to generate more interest and maybe some sales.

And if I am NOT drawing then I pace and twitch and rock and bounce and, well, you get the idea. It's ironic because I suspect that what allows me to have so much detail in my drawings is in part an autistic trait. But it makes me appear quite weird to people.

At least artists are supposed to be weird.

I love your work, especially the digital things. Thanks very much for sharing, and adding to your profile.

Whoa! Your artwork is awesome, Wavefreak. I think kx250rider is correct. And I think your working on a piece and ignoring the potential customer until they stand directly in front of you is your best bet. I always feel freaked by being watched by the artist as I examine their work. I don't want to insult any of them by making faces or make them feel bad when I don't by a work I looked at a long time because I liked it, but it wasn't what I was looking for to buy.

Your comments on your smile are making me laugh. Oh, I'm evil. I'm sorry you can't make a good smile. We all have something we have to live with.

I used to make redwood signs at craft shows/fairs, etc. Would still be doing it, but it's pretty much impossible to find redwood, and I haven't found anything else that works the same.

My suggestion: Find a way to turn what you do into a show, if you can. Simply looking at an art display is a "distant" activity - watching someone create is not. If people feel connected to what you're doing, they are more likely to be receptive when you speak to them. If you're enjoying yourself, you're more likely to be comfortable speaking to them. Kind of hard to explain, but it works.

I used to take a sign blank and simply cover it with various artworks that were standard for me (most about 3 X 3, so I could put a BUNCH of them on an 8 X 18 board) . When it got full, I'd just sand it down and do it over again. Yeah, art is about being creative, and doing the same thing over and over gets a bit boring after a while, but if you can turn it into a show, you're likely to sell a lot more.

I see you do a lot with eyes (and very well, BTW). Maybe just take a sheet of sketch paper and cover it with eyes - don't try to turn it into a composition, just variations on eyes. Since it isn't a "work of art," but simply a practice exercise, you may find it easier to break away from it to acknowledge people.

Odd that I do so well with eyes when eye contact is such an issue. Drawing an eye makes it an abject not a person.

Well this is probably the best advice, it totally makes sense.

yep --if make eye contact with people , they get scared /very uneasy..........I had to quit wearing contact lens and return to my thick glasses to hide my eyes...... with contacts, people said it felt like i was either reading their soul, or gonna go for their throat.......some said it was like i had no soul behind my eyes.....even my wife and kids get a bit creeped out by my eyes/gaze.

but i am not a monster.

Sometimes my eye contact freaks people out. The reason is that I start staring after awhile and I open my eyes too wide (to try to look alert or smile with my eyes...rather than looking glassy eyed and dreamy). It doesn't always work...sometimes my eyes just look bulgy instead, I've been told I look "manic" when I do this. I've found that if you look at the person's nose or mouth that's okay.....most people don't actually expect you to make eye contact with them but just to look at them (at their face) while talking and/or (preferably and) listening to them.