My girlfriend's mom is trying to put her in a group home

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nthach
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30 Nov 2010, 5:29 pm

SSI is a royal pain in the behind since they will revoke your benefits if you earn more than $940 in a month and you can't have assets totaling $2000 or more. I'm on the damn thing because I chose not to work during school but I would LOVE to be off it when I find a job.

The only good thing SSI/SSDI is good for is health insurance if you can get onto Medicare, not Medicaid. My parents are selfish and they won't even pay for my health insurance. But the nice part is when I get a full time job but no benefits until I have worked there for 90 or more days, I can pay my Medicare premiums out of pocket at the current rate which I believe is ~$100/month.



blondeambition
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30 Nov 2010, 9:21 pm

She needs to go to Legal Aid (legal help for the poor). Hopefully, her mom is bluffing. Maybe, maybe not.

Also, if she is living with you, she is an adult, and you are an upstanding citizen, Mom can't do much. Waiting lists for group homes where I live (Texas) are very long. No one is going to want to put a young woman in a publicly funded group home if she has another safe place to live and is not a danger to herself or others.

Marriage would really put her out of Mom's clutches, but I would not jump into marriage with someone who has a past history of difficulty holding down a job, etc., without dating long enough to see how they handle various situations and challenges.

I personally jumped into marriage with a man with bipolar disorder. Things are working out now, but when he's under stress, the situation is very challenging.



zeldapsychology
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30 Nov 2010, 10:35 pm

I agree with the SSI Disability comments. I can't make more than $800 (on top of my $705 check) I get $322 ( the rest goes towards rent hose expenses). I can't get married or I lose SSI and if I do marry he has to be able to support me financially since I'd lose SSI. Outisde of Medicaid my medical supplies are nearly $1,000 a month which is my main concern. I can't afford that even ON a minumum wage job. (Which is why I'm in college and getting a degree so I can get a good paying job.)



FireMinstrel
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01 Dec 2010, 5:16 pm

Maybe her mother knows that this would freak you guys out. If she thinks her threats are easily believed by you, she probably is holding all the cards expecting you to panic and screw up any attempts at independence.
Incidentally, she should try finding jobs that pay under the table. It's technically "wrong", but seems like staying in her current environment is all the more "wronger".(goes for you too, ZeldaPsychology)


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blondeambition
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01 Dec 2010, 6:19 pm

Getting a job that pays under the table, getting more education, etc., and trying to save some money are good ways to get out from under Mom's thumb. If she has no money of her own, Mom (and you) are going to have a lot of control over her.

I used to have uncontrolled epilepsy, and at one point (when I was close to graduating from law school) I had run out of money and was living at home. It was horrible to be under the thumb of a bitchy, domineering mother who was unsympathetic to my situation and would put me down whenever I screwed up. (I was too unhealthy to be in law school at that time, but I had been accepted and it was what my mom really wanted and she bankrolled the thing.) At least I could tell her, as soon as I get a job, I'm out of here.

As soon as I got a job, I was out of there, and life was much better. (Incidentally, I am currently a successful slumlord and have pretty much left the legal career behind.)



zeldapsychology
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01 Dec 2010, 7:13 pm

FireMinstrel wrote:
Maybe her mother knows that this would freak you guys out. If she thinks her threats are easily believed by you, she probably is holding all the cards expecting you to panic and screw up any attempts at independence.
Incidentally, she should try finding jobs that pay under the table. It's technically "wrong", but seems like staying in her current environment is all the more "wronger".(goes for you too, ZeldaPsychology)



Thanks. :-)



HeheitsVal
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01 Dec 2010, 10:57 pm

Thanks so much for the replies. It seems to have ceased for a while. But we're thinking of trying to get her a job, so that she can have control over some of her money.



Tokiodarling21
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03 Nov 2011, 6:10 am

zeldapsychology wrote:
I agree with the SSI Disability comments. I can't make more than $800 (on top of my $705 check) I get $322 ( the rest goes towards rent hose expenses). I can't get married or I lose SSI and if I do marry he has to be able to support me financially since I'd lose SSI. Outisde of Medicaid my medical supplies are nearly $1,000 a month which is my main concern. I can't afford that even ON a minumum wage job. (Which is why I'm in college and getting a degree so I can get a good paying job.)

I earn 674 a month but I'm a good saver. I think the whole marriage penalty thing is a joke as it violates our freedom and decision to marry and effects our personal chances at finding love. as for your gf, my suggestion would be to contact someone in the disability rights field maybe they can tell you what needs to happen.



League_Girl
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03 Nov 2011, 1:18 pm

Quote:
If she gets a job, she loses her SSI. The don't pay disability to people that are working (U.S. law. Could be different elswhere)


Actually you don't. You can still work and still receive benefits. I am also in the USA. I know because I have been on it and still got it. Only time I didn't get it anymore was when I was working full time and made too much money.