Do those not on the spectrum ever really understand?

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Well. Unfortunately, even though most NTs mean well, even the ones who want to cure us, they still don't understand what they would be risking to try and fix us. It isn't right to mess with genes and nature. AS isn't an illness, and even though we have disabilities, we have ABILITIES in some areas. So then, NTs in those specific areas could be considered 'disabled'! But as long as they are the majority, they call the shots, so lets hope they do the right thing.

The problem is since AS is thought of as a disability, it is thought of as 'something wrong' with us, with our brains, something that needs to be fixed and we should be like everyone else. So the NTs maybe they mean well, they just want to help cure us. And seeing as how many AS individuals suffer from so many problems, including chronic depression, people just want to help us out, but maybe they go about it in the wrong way. But WHY do we suffer? I tell you, it is because we can't fit in and because of the people who expect us to conform to THEIR picky standards! Maybe they shouldn't worry about curing AS, maybe they should give all of society a good long look and think about changing the way people think about others who are different.

It's a cruel world. The cruelty is what needs a cure.

I have to agree with a lot of what you are saying. You know, society doesn't seem to have a problem helping, say, blind people work with their strengths and weaknesses so that they can reach their potentials. And we don't see them looking for ways to cull out potentially blind embryos. The thing that bothers me is the message I'm picking up which is that so many people seem to think it would be better if people like us were never born. Like we are an abomination. Am I being too sensitive? It's like: "Oh G-d, lets stamp out autism even if we have to stamp out autistic people to do it." Many of us work and pay taxes. We don't typically hurt other people. Many non-autistic people don't hold jobs, and some are violent. Are we worse than them? If so, why?

By the way, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm bashing blind people. I was merely using that as an example.

Messing about with genetics is a scary idea. After all genetic diversity is how animals evolve and grow stronger and bettter. By taking large amounts of genes out of the mix to eliminate some diseases, disabilities could mean creating more problems in a narrow, repetitive gene pool.
Also lots of people with 'disabilities' like many on this site, do not wish they were born 'normal' they value the way they are even if its different. Maybe the rest of society should too.

I have noticed a definte increase in the curebie and eugenics type discussions lately and I was wondering too if it was just something that I was noticing more or being more sensitive too. And this seems to be on so many different fronts too - even things that are supposed to be helpful such as the autism awareness campaigns are really becoming curebie propaganda. Yesterday it was three different items/discussions that I saw that really made me wonder what is going on with autism awareness. It is not just from one particular group and I think maybe some of those who are on the spectrum really need to start getting vocal and speaking out because these curebies are trying to run the show.

In defense of the Autism Speaks DVD, (which was mostly NBC segments) they did have one interview with a nobel prize winner who was describing his AS and how he feels that it helps him in many ways.
It was a pretty balanced coverage of spectrum disorders, but you get some of the narrow minded views mixed in inevitably.

Well, in the past we had ignorance just because society hadn't caught up with things and people were still thinking straight from ubringing and certain beliefs they were given. These days the problem is a little different - you have a society that's so fast paced that most people don't have the time or energy to invest in understanding or knowing a whole lot about anything that it doesn't seem like they need to know (unless it something that just entertains them that much). Being that AS/autism is something that takes a lot of cognitive thought to even be able to grasp the possibitlities of for most people it makes matters that much worse.

On actually being understanding per se though, some people who are more down to earth will be, you'll also meet people who you can't say anything to because they're really convinced that anything they can do the next person can do also (the same people who'd look at you with disgust if you said you had ADD or something of the like). As for the people who are too lazy in general to care or who've been social butterflies too long to imagine what it would be like if their social potential was capped under a neurological glass ceiling - its not your problem to worry about it but at the same time don't give them reason to start with you just because nothing will bail you out if they do, 2-faced people the same.

I hope I don't offend anyone by responding to this. I am the mom of a 12 yr old who we (and his psychiatrist) are sure is an Aspie. As for understanding, obviously those of us who are not Aspies can't fathom what it feels like or how difficult it is. However, I guarantee you that I have worked really hard to learn about the issue and to try to get my son to explain to me how he is feeling. The only problem is he usually doesn't know. I think there are those who try to empathize and those who don't bother to learn enough about it to empathize. We've dealt with that all year at his school.

As for the "cure", I guess that is somewhat selfish on the part of family members. I don't know about y'all, but my son's issues cause quite a bit of turmoil in our family! (Not that my other kids don't have their own share of dramas) But as a mom, I have seen my son struggle and have sooo much difficulty in school, in church, out in public that if I could "cure" it, I guarantee you I would. However, he doesn't see it that way. We haven't discussed it in terms of his Aspergers, but in terms of his dyslexia. I mentioned to him that they thought they had isolated the gene that caused dyslexia, which meant that eventually that they might be able to do genetic therapy to "cure" it. He told me, "No way. I wouldn't want to be "cured". My dyslexia is who makes me who I am." Of course I didn't see it like that because we have spent many hours being miserable because it is such a struggle for him to read.

It's all perspective. I love my son dearly and love the eccentricities and brilliance that come along with his disorders, but if I could make it so he didn't have to suffer as much and be so unhappy so often, I guarantee you I would trade that for some of his brilliance in a heart beat.

Again, that is my perspective though, not his.

Again, hope my comments don't offend anyone b/c they were definitely not intended to.

I don't that people who aren't on the Spectrum will ever be able to truly understand. My own Dad doesn't understand my AS, and he dosen't understand that pre-2003 London is an Obsession for me. He's never understood any of my past Obsessions either, except for Austin Powers, because I like the 1960s so much, and he was what a lot of the young people in Canada were into, at the time. Other than that, he's never understood the rest of my Obsessions, because he didn't have a chance to really watch me grow up. There was even a time that he's compared AS to Mild Down Syndrome, and I've never completley forgiven him for that one. I'm not Slow Witted and it doesn't take me longer to learn. I'm starting to forgive him for not understanding my Obsessions. I was stuck to the Coffee Pot like glue, for about a Month, after the two weeks that I've originally attempted to stop drinking Coffee, because I've sent him a picture of a Routemaster by the name of "The Silver Lady" that I was going to order myself for going to my Sister's Wedding. My Dad chose to use that very moment that he opened his E-Mail to tell me not to send him any more images over the Internet. That's what's caused my Coffee Habit to flare-up all over again. I've been drinking it up until two Sundays ago. I've told my Mom that I've heard a freaky Female Voice in my Sleep, and than I went back to sleep and had a dream about Classic London. My Mom told me to shut-up in a very harsh manner. December 9th, or should I say, December 10th is still very fresh in my Mind, and I was gutted that my Mom would actually do that to me. The reasons that she did that, was because Dad was home, and "It does get a little annoying, after a while!" Now that I know that things haven't changed, since I was obsessed with the USA, at the age of Ten, I have all the more motivation to get myself out of their house and into a Subsidized Apartment. I was scared of my Dad before Wednesday Morning and now I'm litterally Paraniod!

This is for your Eyes, only.

Isn't she a Beauty? I hope this goes through.

I'm now going to my Clubhouse for Comfort, instead of turning to Coffee.

On the positive side, because modern society is so much more urban and fast-paced than it used to be, people who live in cities tend to have a much lower dependence on stereotypes because they get exposed to such a large variety of people on a regular basis. 25 years ago I was considered a freak because I was socially awkward and hung out with all the wrong people (punks, mainly). These days people are intrigued by my differences and think it's fantastic that I'm still young enough at heart to dye my hair weird colours.

Last edited by Jetson on 24 Jun 2006, 4:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

That's common. I find it almost impossible to express my emotions in words. I guess I lack a reference point for comparison. With physical things like weight or distance I have a mental catalog of examples and can interpolate, but with emotions there aren't many references and therefore not too many "shades of grey". I can tell you I'm very emotional or only slightly emotional and that I'm happy, sad or angry, but it doesn't get much more descriptive than that. Often the feelings I get are completely inappropriate. I'll experience rage over a minor injustice and then shrug off a major problem.


I can't speak for everyone, but I think we want acceptance, not cures. Most of the problems we face as a result of AS are imposed upon us by other people who lack compassion, enjoy being cruel, and/or see an opportunity to take advantage of us.


You have to be careful, because your wish for him to have a better future is easily interpreted as a wish that you had a better son. I have little doubt that my mother wishes I had a better life, too, but the fact is that this is the only life I've ever known. I can't imagine living differently. Period. The thoughts and emotions and problems I've had are what make me the person I am today, and changing my history would change who I am. In spite of my problems my life is actually not all that bad, and I can certainly imagine things being far worse if I was NT. AS has robbed me of some of life's pleasures, but has also given me unexpected opportunities. It *can* be a fair trade.


I have never aspired to be average. The lows are how I pay for the highs. Most people are spared the lows I've experienced, but they've also missed the highs. I wouldn't trade them for anything!

Thank you all so much for sharing your thoughts with me. My 12 yr old son likes to talk to me about black holes, ending the war, robotics, etc.... , but he never shares with me how he feels. When I ask him a question about how he feels he just shrugs. I too wouldn't change my son for the world, however, I would like to make his life easier. We are considering home schooling in the FAll b/c he had such a bad year last year. I just hate for his spirit to be crushed b/c he is so very bright!

I am so glad I found this site. It is wonderful to get some insight into how he "might" feel.

I have to agree, it's great living in a big diverse city, there are so many people and so many freak who are even weirder than me that no one really notices much at all. I hate country town like places where everyone knows everyone elses business, I like being anonymous.

reminds me of myself, when I would get home from school my mum would always ask how my day was, my reply was exactly the same for the 13 years or however long I was at school, 'fine'. Didn't matter if the day was good or bad, it was always fine, I could never understand why anyone would want to know about the boring stuff I did at school and I'd much rather talk about my interests. I did have 3 younger brothers though who would tell her every minute detail of their day and were very attention seeking, which was good because it took the pressure off me.

I too rarely speak about my own emotions, though i usually know what they are. i don't know, it just seems weird taking about them and i'm quiet comfortable not sharing the way everyone else seems to do. I know this has frustrated people before, but really that kinda stuff isn't interesting!!
I would agree that all the great things i get from my interests, my focus and the way i see the world far out ways the bad. I'm rarely bored, i'm content to be myself, i see things plainly and sensibly. I'm lucky in that i have a large, eccentric family who eccept me just the way i am, that i think has saved me from isolation and depression.
The outside world may be a strange and confusing place but your home and your family can keep you safe. If you have that then all the sometimes upsetting things about AS will never be outwayed by the great and the wonderful.

True, I really haven't been openly hassled about it in a long time. It's true that you see a certain degree of pettiness anywhere and rub up against it at least in a nonverbal or behind the back kind of way but your right at least that big cities have so many different types that you can't not get used to it after a while.