Aspie females = Tomboys?
I'm vary boyish but then i'm also a lesbian so that's proably not that unusual. Still, i wear comfortable clothes, jeans, combats, t-shirts, anything with pockets - MUST have pockets!
I 'live' in a baseball cap but thats because of sensitivty to the sun.
I've often preferred hanging around with boys as they are easier to talk to, less bitchy, and less obsessed with boys and clothes. Being gay the boy obsession among NT girls was a real problem when i was a teen. My friends would gush about this boy or that boy and flirt and giggle and i'd just sit there, feeling bored. It was all so dumb.
That was when my difference from other people first became really noticable to me!
I HATE shopping, epecially clothes shopping, its hot, boring and inrritating. Changing rooms and lights and noise and queues.
In fact i rarely shop at all inless i no exactly what i'm getting and where i'm getting it from then i go to the shop straight off, walk in, buy it and walk out...there ...easy.
I also have 'boy' interests. D&D, Scifi, fantasy, action movies, hot girls
Still like i said, lesbian so not that unusual! Though lots of the way I dress is about comfort and not caring what i look like rather then sexual identity, i think. I wonder what the AS lesbian ratio is
_________________
When freedom is outlawed only outlaws are free.
I have always detested the color pink.
I did have some barbies when I was little...but I had a huge collection of hot wheels, matchbox cars and horror comics. I was always up in a tree somewhere or building a fort. Hated dresses and used to hide in the closet to avoid getting my hair cut..when all the other girls where riding around on their Strawberry Shortcake bicycles with the cute little baskets and streamers...this one saved her allowance and bought a boy's 20" chopper style bike with flames.
Junior high wasn't much different...the girls were into makeup, tanning, sundresses, jewelry and cute little mopeds...I wanted a leather jacket and a dirt bike.
I wore makeup and dressed okay...usually buying alot of dark colors (alot of black and grey), which I still prefer now, don't do the makeup too much anymore. Don't like the lacey, frilly, or floral stuff, and I seldom wear jewelry...it makes me uncomfortable. Used to do alot of work on my cars... mostly air-cooled VW's which were my hobby...gave that up since having health problems after having my son...now I tinker with computers and game consoles...and on occasion the lawnmower. Occasionally we will get the new neighbor that will come over to hubby and ask to borrow a wrench or some kind of tool...he just chuckles and sends them to me saying..."you'll have to ask the wife...she came with the tools."
stuckinthedesert
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 1 Jun 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 59
Location: California
If it were testosterone related aspie males would probably look and behave more masculine.
I still think aspergers offers a certain 'immunity' to gender conditioning.. though I do not know if this applies to males. Are aspie guys more feminine than NT ones? Would they admit they are?
Interesting topic.
BTW. I apparently have a very masculine personality [whatever that means] but definently do not have a excess of testosterone.
Well I will admit some aspie males are considered more feminine by the general population but I do not consider it a hormone issue as much of as Riley put it immunity to gender conditioning.
When I was younger I played with dolls and also more typically male toys till I was, for lack of a better word, forced into typical male toys. I never really had a division in my mind when I was young, of what was a boy’s toy or a girl’s they all just seemed fun.
Today I consider myself to be a non- feminine male or just slightly feminine. I like to refer to it as being sensitive to the opposite sex. I can't say if this would of happened naturally or it was a result of conditioning. I was always taught this is what a man has to do this is how a man has to act so I typically act very non feminine.
_________________
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Well, I'm 18 years old so I'm half adult half teenager, I guess, and I feel very feminine. Not neccesarily the usual kind of feminine, but if i'm not good at cooking, for example, I'm not less feminine than a woman who does, the same way a man who can't repair a car is not less masculine because of that.
I like to dress up and have ake up, though i'm more of a rocker than a fashionista, but yes, I'm girly enough...
YES. My biggest childhood obsessions were Hot Wheels toy cars, plastic dinosaurs, digging the big hole in the sand box with all the boys, playing with bugs in the trees and dirt, etc. I despised make-up, fashion, PINK STUFF, and shopping with a passion, and frequently expressed my revulsion at anything "girlish"--unfortunately, I spent most of my childhood with my mother and two older sisters. One of them was really stupid and made sickeningly stupid remarks all the time which lowered anyone different from the norm, even though she claimed to be SO different from the preppy popular girls, the only reason she hated them is because they competed with her for boys and stuff.
So, inevitably, I'd hopelessly try to explain rationally why what she was saying was so irrational (it was like being around Archie Bunker 24/7, if you've seen All in the Family), which is a rather fruitless thing to try to impress upon a closed-mined, unseeing thing like she. Constant fighting. She was the most "girly" person I'd ever met, and I was the most "tomboyish" I'd ever known, add that to the fact they thought I was favored and called me "ret*d" and considered me a freak for my autistic tendencies.
_________________
"There are things you need not know of, though you live and die in vain,
There are souls more sick of pleasure than you are sick of pain"
--G. K. Chesterton, The Aristocrat
If it were testosterone related aspie males would probably look and behave more masculine.
I still think aspergers offers a certain 'immunity' to gender conditioning.. though I do not know if this applies to males. Are aspie guys more feminine than NT ones? Would they admit they are?
Interesting topic.
BTW. I apparently have a very masculine personality [whatever that means] but definently do not have a excess of testosterone.
I think Aspergers and austism in general is in someways an exaggeration of some male characteristics. Although it's only limited anecdotal evidence I know quite a lot of guys who test in the borderline in those aspergers tests so it suggests to me maybe that is the case.
This article on different brain types suggests that autism and aspergers are a case of extreme male brain. (there are 3 brain types, male, female and neutral, and any male or female can have any of these brain types)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/life/feature/ ... 13,00.html
SolaCatella
Veteran
Joined: 24 Nov 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 662
Location: [insert creative, funny declaration of location here]
I've never been much of a 'girly girl,' but I'm not quite a tomboy either--I couldn't care less about sports, for one thing. I keep my hair short so that I don't have to think about it and I don't wear make up ever, nor will I wear skirts or dresses (they're uncomfortable). I've always been more interested in animals than anything, including gender roles.
_________________
cogito, ergo sum.
non cogitas, ergo non es.
pi_woman
Deinonychus
Joined: 15 May 2006
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 301
Location: In my own little world
I'm not a tomboy, but I've always been disgusted by the shallow, affected mannerisms of what is commonly regarded as "feminine" these days. And yes, I'm embarassed to say I loved playing with Barbies when I was a kid. My taste in clothes tends to rich, soft fabrics, lace and ribbons, but I think that's related more to my historical interests than trying to look feminine.
The "gender-conditioning immunity" theory makes the most sense to me, although my conditioning was varied because we moved all over the country (so I never had consistent peer pressure). And then in college I was one of the 10% of the Engineering class who happened to be female (interestingly, the percentage rose to 25% by the time I graduated). I tried to fit in which wasn't difficult since my interests tended to math and reading. Hated sports.
My workplace has a politically correct 50/50 gender demographic, but the culture is dominated by blue-collar ex-military WASP males, most of whom tend to have some very old-fashioned ideas of gender roles. Here I've felt compelled to make a point of my non-conformity, in the hopes of raising co-workers' awareness of the diversity issues that our company keeps paying lip-service to. But I'm not ready to tell everyone about AS; non-conformity doesn't mean reckless.
Hi folks
Good to be here!
Yup, aspie + tomboy = me. SQ=52. Played with lego, meccano, train sets, boys, chemistry set, electronics (long before electronics was the thing), always fiddling with making things.
As an adult have taught myself extensive DIY skills, part time job as a student fixing cars, later reached more or less the top of my professional tree (not fixing cars - something requiring lots of logical, analytical and creative synthesis skills, flow charts and systems designing), am known in my community for being a total pc/tekky nerd - even men ask me for help.
I like working with men, just as I enjoyed playing with boys - they do and think far more interesting things and they are not, as someone mentioned here, bitchy and gossipy like gaggly NT women. Luckily I had a boy child.
But I don't have anything at all to do with sports - they involve lots of people in teams and crowds, they are noisy and fast moving, AND I just don't get this barbaric competition thing.
BTW - only got spectrum dx very recently I'd worked it out at long last and the very perceptive and supportive psychologist was in agreement. At my advanced age (40 something and a half), it's a bit of a shock and taking a bit of getting used to. But it explains SO much - all those horrendous misunderstandings throughout life and all the messes I've made of relationships etc, all the vile sensory overloads and scary freakouts and whole system shutdowns and...
Also, there was a thread somewhere else (sorry, am still finding my way round - think I've lost it! but then, what's new? ) about looking younger: I visited my mother in the hospital the other day, two nurses said 'Here's your grandaughter to see you Mrs Thing!' I thought they were joking and (yet again) I'd missed the joke. They weren't joking (because, of course, I had to check. LOL )
Anyway, as I said, it's good to be here. Reading the posts, I am struck by how friendly and helpful everyone is. That's really encouraging for a 'brand new' asp.
I was also tomboyish, where I enjoyed playing with Legos and other toys most girls didn't play with. I also played with Barbies and Cabbage Patch dolls, so I had a girly side growing up. I've never liked wearing dresses, prefrerring slacks, shorts, or jeans, and I hate the color pink. To this day, the only time I wear anything feminine is when I'm at a wedding, RenFaire, or SCA event. I took up heavies fighting in the SCA, mostly because it appealed to my tomboyish tendencies. Other than that and a brief stint rowing for my university, sports never really appealed to me.
_________________
"I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason,
and intellect has intended us to forgo their use."
- Galileo Galilei
my parents always thought i was a tomboy though my teens but i didnt dress in jeans and t shirts to try and look like a boy.... just becase these clothes were comfortable and i felt good wearing them.
im 22 AS and im a lesbian.
id always lad long hair as a little kid, and when i was 13 i had it all cut off to about 3 cm long all over.... at the time i loved it.. not having to spend time drying it with a hairdryer and not needing to do very much with it. and i thought it looked good aswell
but after i while of my parents insisting that it didnt suit me i grew it long again to stop them moaning. then it got so long i wasnt able to brush out all the knots from the back so its now a little below shoulder length.. i can manage this ok and it looks good too. i cringe at my passport photograph with my short hair!
i dont mind shopping if its done my way. i hate shopping with my mother. shes a right pain to shop with because she goes into every clothes shop on the high street and i remember once as a child having to sit on the seats in the shop for TWO HOURS whilst she inspected every rail in the shop. i learnt to take my Gameboy with me whenever we had to go shopping lol
i tend to wait nowadays till i need several things, then ill go into town and get them. i dont mind spending time to look in video game shops or cd shops, but im not one to want to tak ages in a clothes shop. usually the clothes i like will stand out from the rail.
my clothes now are still jeans, but i will also wear long skirts too... i have 3 skirts. 2 long ones and the other to the knee. one is plain white with a stitching detail, the other is now too big for me but is a karky sort of colour. and the knee height one is bright pink. i got the last one off eBay and i really like it!
whatever i buy now i like to make sure looks good on me. i used to not care but i do care a bit more now.
as far as toys went when i was little it was mixed... i would play with my barbie dolls. i had a KEN but i rarely played with that one. just the female dolls.
i also had lego and meccano. and a scalextrix (like a racing track)
but my favourite toy had to be my wooden train set. i loved making the track then pushing the trains round it.
when i was 2-3 i played with the same toy at playgroup everyday, and sat in the corner with it. the rest of the children were always making noise. the toy comprised of a car, and it drove into the gas station, then inside th garage, which had a lift init, the the car would be lifted up to the top level, whee there was a big yellow slide that spiraled all the way round to the bottom again. id sit with this toy for hours on end and if anybody else even touched it- WHAM - theyd get a smack!
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Males, Females, Bears, Humans |
31 Oct 2024, 1:12 pm |
Upcoming book about how science failed Autistic females |
21 Sep 2024, 3:04 pm |
Coming out of the aspie closet |
28 Nov 2024, 6:47 pm |
Have you been in a romantic relationship with another Aspie? |
11 Dec 2024, 3:25 am |