Should i ignore it?

Post Reply New Topic

I would be looking at options of moving out of their house. Someone who has such little respect for your self-esteem as to even endorse suicide for any kind of "solution" is not someone who is good to be around. It's not a healthy out-look on life and is even dangerous to mention it to someone who is in a situation where (hypothetically) they could have been considering it as an option.

Suggesting something like that is a form of emotional torture/abuse and my first reaction was "I'd be looking at some kind of restraining order to prevent him trying to talk to me and put me down like that ever again!" But I realise that's not practical.

PLEASE ignore him if he talks like that - now, or any time in the future. It's not a solution and causes more problems and heart-ache than you can imagine for those who are left behind.

If he does bring up the topic again, then feel free to tell him to stop trying to undermine your worth and to stop trying to lower your self esteem as you will not stand for that type of emotional abuse, then get out of the room as soon as possible.

No one should talk to you (or anyone) like that, especially not someone who, as a father, should know better.

*hugs*

well put. If he has that little respect for your life, I would question your safety with him lest he talks you into suicide like some charles manson thing.

I never said i had an issue with my self image i am just feeling a bit depressed thats all.

Its just daunting the fact my farther is suggesting that there is no reason for me to continue living and it would be better if i just topped myself..........Even after horrible events and times in my life I still treasure every moment of life and really do enjoy things liek watching films and getting drunk with my small group of friends down at the pub.

But it really does stop you in your tracks adn makes you question your own morality when someone says to you that you should hurry up and kill yourself.

My farther actually said to me once when he was drunk a month ago "I will walk into your bedroom when your asleep and stab you with a knife".

I was not implying self image was an issue for you specifically, just that it is often a part of depression. The point is that suggesting suicide to a depressed person is BAD.



Apparently you value life even if your father doesn't. This is a good thing.



Which is the problem with what your father said, now isn't it? It is a wrenching thing to say. It cuts right through to the core and can push you into a cycle of self doubt that eats away at you.




And you still need more evidence that your father is abusive? Are you going to tell us next that he beats you as well?

Quit blaming yourself. NO ONE should have to endure this. You would be better off in homeless shelter. Do you have any access to Social Services?

He does not beat me becuase i am a bit taller than him and i am 21 and he is 52. okay i we have both gotten into a physical fight a few times and we have both thrown a few punches at each other.

Dude. This is not a good environment.

Did he beat you when you were smaller than him (you don't have to answer)?

Apply your aspie focus to the problem. The answer is right in front of you.

Well the problem is even though I am a fraction taller than him he is heavier than me so he might be able to hurt me still.

And you stick around because?

Nobody needs this. And someone with Asperger's is even more harmed by it.

I am not sure if I have aspergers though?????????

I'm not sure that it matters. What ever your issues, an abusive environment does not help. In fact it PREVENTS any real chance at a decent life.

My advice (yeah, I know, advice on an internet forum isn't that reliable) is that your major obsession should be getting OUT of that environment. GET OUT, then can you begin to unwind the tangle of issues that leads you to believe you might have Asperger's.

Just my opinion.

Have u ever had any bad experiences in your enviorment?

I once held a chair in the air as a threat to keep my father from harming the oldest of my three brothers, and my mother once warned my youngest brother to get out of the house quickly because the old man had just gone to the bedroom to get his shutgun with intentions of killing him.

If I were you, I would get away from there.

Yes. Abusive parents, grandfather. Physical, sexual, psychological. I never got anywhere until I took control and LEFT.

Asperger's is weird. It may have ironically allowed me to survive without becoming a psychopathic killer. Somewhere my obsession for consistency in my world view (my reality is a painstakingly detailed construct, with lots of interlocking parts - long story), any form of retribution is disallowed, towards either those that harmed me directly (family) or those that harmed me indirectly (society at large for it's infinite indifference). I cannot on one hand crave justice and fairness for my own circumstances and on the other hand deny it for others. I never understood the depth of this conviction until I discovered Asperger's and realized it was deeply and irrevocably entwined with my literal, concrete thinking.

The disavowal of vengeance is written in my bones.

Back to the topic.

You will never find peace until you break away from what poisons you. Find a way out.

Your father is a scumbag. Start recording your conversations with him and have the authorities throw him into a world of misery.

Sweet.

Just don't get caught until you have a way out.

OK, at first I was thinking, "That's horribly wrong for him to say, but maybe he was overstressed and it was a once in a blue moon thing. Maybe he was tired of hearing complaints that he doesn't think are justified, meant to be sarcastic and it came out way, way wrong. " That doesn't mean I think it was IN ANY WAY appropriate, just that, well, it can't be easy to deal with someone with the issues most on here describe, and I can see why someone might lash out inappropriately.

But - he's also threatened to kill you?!?!?!?! That's not something to be ignored or swept under the rug. Time to leave, dude. That's probably a lot easier said than done, but it's gotta happen. Please - we don't want to read about you in the paper, ok?