Don't Realize My Own Behavior

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I think I know what you mean, I have a few examples:

1) I rock back and forth while talking to people occasionally, it helps me think. I used to be in ROTC and did it when speaking with a colonel and captain occasionally (probably when I was trying to be on my best behavior ironically).

2) Pacing the perimeter of a long school hallway while studying or memorizing notes.

There's a lot of other small these but came to the realization that some of the things I thought were normal are symptoms of autism. It's like a lightbulb comes one when you realize it and didn't make the connection before.

In an ideal world maybe.

Idea is the simple manifestion of intent and then there is action.

Unless it is to hell with idea and action.

But an ideal isn't not an idea.

We can always strive for the ideal, but some people will not.

As much as I'd want to be who I am, I'd probably look not fit for society.

If I just let myself go in public, I'd be a mumbling, pacing, laughing, nervous ball of awesome.

An ideal is based upon idea(s) in a sort of circular reasoning method. Sometimes people feel they are strange, weird and or odd because they desire to conform to something they are not. Other times they are trying to conform to people whom influence them that just think they are the normal standard because they have a need to fit in. To neutralize conformity and non-conformity I'd suggest just being yourself and accepting that. It is our own fear(s) at times that prevent this kind of natural happiness in an artificial world of superiority based ego's demanding to be the normal thus superior and alienate that which is not like them. Ultimately it comes down to basic survivalism and social-psychological sexual related behavior that make necessary normal so to compete for it and productive perhaps thus the reason for normals superiority of self assumption.

The thing was this wasn't suppose to be what the thread is about.

I was looking for some fun stories.

Because I don't see a lot of fun stories running around WP. I want to bring a little laughter and a little fun into WP. Which sometimes means sharing and connecting with people.

That's all I was trying to do.

Personally, I'm getting to the point now where I'm ready to just let it all go. It's too draining for me to be constantly monitoring myself. It takes all the energy I have, and people don't like me anyway. So there's really no point. I'm just ready to relax and be myself. (Obviously within reason. I don't want to drive off the people who give me work. But I work from home, so my interaction with them is minimal.)

Edit: Oh yeah... I've had quite a lot of those moments lately. Mine aren't really funny though.

I got a date by being my normal self one time. I asked her to pull my finger and she laughed. Little did she know I had a special kind whoopie cushion in my jacket and she ended up laughing allot. That is how I flirt.

Nathan Young

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-4S3gUWLkY[/youtube]

Mine end up being funny, sad, humiliating, and a facepalm moment.

An image representation of me being myself:

I really don't care anymore. I'm 24 going on 7.
Most people that I used to hide my behavior from I shouldn't have cared what they thought about me.
I'm not hiding it from my friends either because they should just let me be me.
I'm having a sensory/emotional break down of some kind these days to even notice that people are in the room. Unless they are blurry lines in my vision.

I should have some fun stories after my next outing.

lol yeah, and sometimes if I am upset about something someone did, I am afraid of saying the person's name while "thinking out loud", or say something that would be obvious what I'm talking about if the person heard me.

Another "funny/weird" thing I do, is I sing often, (I mean in my house, I try not to do that in public or a workplace eventho sometimes I catch myself humming lol), but the worse about it is I tend to sing something related to whatever I am feeling at the moment, and its not always a good thing, I also don't do that intentionally at all, I don't think about it, it just happens that way. It very much reminds me of the car in the Transformers, when it kept playing songs related to the situation. There is also the fact that I get "stuck" with the same song or music for a long time, with those "related to situation" songs in between lol.

Example of "related songs", I am p**** at someone, and I start singing Whatever from Godsmack lol (in case you don't know the song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJ6sAc4gZgc )

Last edited by Shadi2 on 18 Dec 2010, 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

OMG. Me too! [I know the song, btw]

But usually I sing about what I am doing and what I feel about it usually something like,

"Doing the dishes lalalalaala, feeling happy,"

Of course then there are times when I'm head over for a girl and I start singing like Frank Sinatra to the girl, I mean not really to the girl herself. But her image that is in my head.

Don't know why I go to the 50s in my fantasies of wooing a girl.

lol Yessss, it can also be about whatever I am doing at the moment etc

Well at least I am not the only one

hahaha... bravo! Can you please explain, in the same exactness how you deal with having this knowledge. Do you sometimes have problems being yourself?

LOL, I'm a singer too. But every stupid thing gets songs stuck in my head and causes me to sing them. It drives me insane. Like I kept seeing a thread on here that was something like "What can I do?" so I've been singing, "What can I do? Pictures of you still make me cry..." etc. I do have to be careful about that as well, because I don't always realize I'm doing it. Late one night a few weeks ago I had made up some childish song about my cats and must have been singing the same 2 lines over and over a billion times, until I heard "SHUUUUUT UUUUUUP!" come from the bedroom and realized what I was doing. LOL, oops.

me tooo