So is this really autism?

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I have been, I really have been trying to play with him for years.

I have no idea how to "play". When I was little I usually either played adventure games with my stuffed animal and pretended to go on epic quests around our little apartment. My room was the cave inside a jungle. I have tried multiple times to play games like this with him, but apparently it doesn't interest him. I guess that's incorrect playing; no wonder no one would play with me at elementary school. I blame Lord of the Rings and King Arthur for that.

Ususally his games consist of hitting me with a lightsaber or something. I've tried playing that way too. He's happy, I end up with a nosebleed. Why is it that his nanny lady knows how to play with him better than I do? I've had a brother for most of my life, but they both liked the adventure style playing.

I realize it's not his fault. If it's anyones fault, it's his dad's for spoiling him. He's planning his b-day party that happens this August and already is buying toys for him. My birthday is 6 days away and I'm probably not even gonna have a party.

Kyle's a little angel when it comes to it being just me and him. Other than his continued lack of speech, he acts like a completely normal 3 year old. He even makes eye contact, listens to what I say, doesn't act like a little bully or anything. He still has tantrums, but rarely, and that's normal, right? It's when someone else walks in or I get on the phone that makes him start acting violently.

I cannot leave my house and live with relatives. My only other relatives I could go with are my dad or Grandma, and then my mother would never speak to me again.

First off, the OP said that her brother was diagnosed with Autism so the fact that his diagnosis is up for debate is pointless. Most of what was described sounds like very typical ASD behaviors to me. The only difference is the way that his behaviors are being handled by others.

I understand how you are feeling in regards to your brother, but as a parent of a child most likely with Asperger's, I know what it is like for your parents. My older sons always tell me that I spoil their brother, and that I let him get away with a lot of things. Some days are very hard and I just have to pick my battles. If I know not getting to do a certain thing will ruin his entire day, I will do my best to make sure he can do whatever it is he wanted. Obviously I have limits, but if it is not really a big deal in the scheme of things, I will let it go. I just take things one day at a time.

My advice for you is to try to talk to your parents. You should tell them you understand that your brother is 3 and needs a lot of attention, but that you need attention too. They need to know how you are feeling because you are clearly upset. It can be easy to overlook the "easier" child and that is unfair to you. It is not fair that he can hurt you, take your things, or that you are expected to do things that make you upset or uncomfortable just to appease him. Hopefully they will listen and be understanding.