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Narkito
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26 Dec 2010, 9:16 pm

I have problems when people break out of script. I have an order in my head in which pleasantries must be said, someone changes the order and I either go blank or just blindly follow the script even though I know it's changed. It's pretty embarrassing and I usually notice that I'm doing it wrong, but I just don't know what to do instead. :oops:


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Zen
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26 Dec 2010, 9:42 pm

jagatai wrote:
Zen wrote:
I find it nearly impossible to call people by name. I can say their name when telling another person about them, but I can't address them by name.

I've been known to say "thank you" too much because I don't know what else to say. But I can't say "bless you" when someone sneezes. I think it's because I'm an atheist, so I feel it's insincere, even if no one else thinks of its literal meaning.


Wait... Are we the same person? This would be exactly my response. :D

But I also have trouble saying "gesundheit" because I'm not really sure how to pronounce it. It's always a bit awkward since the only reason to say anything when someone sneezes is due to superstition. When I'm in a odd mood and someone sneezes a few times, I'll just yell, "Stop it!" Yeah, I'm a real hoot around the office. :D

Another thing I really have a problem saying is "sir" or "madam" Maybe it's an inherent dislike for social hierarchy but terms that indicate subservience or superiority stick in my throat and I find them almost impossible to say.

I hope not, because if I don't even remember answering myself, I must be really nuts. :lol:

But yes, I don't usually say anything when someone sneezes and then feel awkward when someone says something to me when I sneeze. I hadn't thought about it, but now that you mention it, I have the same issue with sir/madam as well. Fortunately, the only time I've been in a situation where that was expected was when I briefly had a job as a cashier, but I had other issues with that job which overshadowed that one.



Rudi
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26 Dec 2010, 11:28 pm

I too never call people by their names, while in their presence. The funny thing is, when someone says my name while speaking to me, or touches me, I melt. To me, it feels like they really care and are sincere. I would do anything for them at that moment, ha. Anybody else have that?



missykrissy
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27 Dec 2010, 12:47 am

Claradoon wrote:
Does anybody know what to say when people say "Good to meet you"? I think it's the inclination to be literal that does me in. I'd truthfully say, "So relieved it's over." - but that's not it.


just say "Likewise."



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27 Dec 2010, 1:28 am

Narkito wrote:
I have problems when people break out of script. I have an order in my head in which pleasantries must be said, someone changes the order and I either go blank or just blindly follow the script even though I know it's changed. It's pretty embarrassing and I usually notice that I'm doing it wrong, but I just don't know what to do instead. :oops:


I do that too. Probably because I tend to plan out conversations before they happen. It's crazy how predictable people are 95% of the time. But if someone says "What's up?" when I think they're going to say "How are you?" I still say "good" before I realize what they've said, but it turns out they're not even listening and usually don't notice :roll:



alexi
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27 Dec 2010, 6:38 am

Narkito wrote:
I have problems when people break out of script. I have an order in my head in which pleasantries must be said, someone changes the order and I either go blank or just blindly follow the script even though I know it's changed. It's pretty embarrassing and I usually notice that I'm doing it wrong, but I just don't know what to do instead. :oops:


I have this problem constantly. I am always trying to think of what a person is about to say (while I'm also trying to talk) and if they dont say what I expect I just completely freeze up.

I also never use people's names and find it so difficult to say my own name that I asked people to call me something else. :roll:



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27 Dec 2010, 11:59 am

The predictable scheme of social interaction gives me cancer :?
I somehow get annoyed if people expect me to give an appropriate answer, like if somebody say; "good to meet you", the answer would have to be something like "yes, the same to you" etc. This automatic conversation has a negative affect on me; I feel that Im forced to something and I really want to give an inappropriate answer, but I control myself.
That means I sometimes say things that I dont mean or dont have any relation to at all. Its just "blah"...
The same for "hi, how are you?" "Fine, and you?" or "what a nice day" "yes it sure is" etc.

Hello and good bye I often say in another language (that I know people understand); like salut and chao. Sometimes I restrict my answer here to ey an yo etc., because the standard is annoying :oops:

I also can say good morning if it is evening, just to make a difference. :D

I forget the names of my nearest friends sometimes, so I seldom use names, maybe just because of this.



sartresue
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27 Dec 2010, 12:24 pm

Narkito wrote:
I have problems when people break out of script. I have an order in my head in which pleasantries must be said, someone changes the order and I either go blank or just blindly follow the script even though I know it's changed. It's pretty embarrassing and I usually notice that I'm doing it wrong, but I just don't know what to do instead. :oops:


Not saying topic

When I say anything, my speech is Spock-like. I must have analysed him enough that I felt comfortable with his approach in conversation.

Good topic. 8)


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27 Dec 2010, 4:57 pm

Maje wrote:
The predictable scheme of social interaction gives me cancer :?
I somehow get annoyed if people expect me to give an appropriate answer, like if somebody say; "good to meet you", the answer would have to be something like "yes, the same to you" etc. This automatic conversation has a negative affect on me; I feel that Im forced to something and I really want to give an inappropriate answer, but I control myself.


I feel the exact same way, I always get a tad bitter.. Why should I have to feel this way if I honestly don't want to? Why should I lie to this person about being so interested? Being a girl makes it much more difficult to speak with unknown men, because apparently I come off *too* sincere, and everyone thinks I'm "flirting." So should I be fakely nice or real and not a kiss-a**? I don't know. It's all so ridiculous sometimes. :oops:


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27 Dec 2010, 5:18 pm

A few days ago my daughter was home from college visiting. She poked her head into the room I was in and said "hi". I looked at her, made a goofy face, mumbled an odd word or to. Finally, after way too long a time, I made a weird fake smile and said HI!.

Why couldn't I just say hi? It didn't even enter my mind.


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28 Dec 2010, 12:46 am

Like many others, I have a very hard time addressing people by name. I just do not like to say names, or be addressed by my own name. I also have trouble with greetings. Only recently (I'm now 29) have I been able to actually say hello to people. My voice would literally shut off when I was faced with a situation where I should acknowledge someone else. For example, passing others in the hall (work, school); they say "hi" and I of course am delayed, but I go to open my mouth and it is like my vocal cords are frozen. I go mute. It is very awkward. This still happened frequently.



vetwithAS
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28 Dec 2010, 1:36 am

I find it insanely hard to talk about anything important or personal if I don't know how what I have to say will be received. The words are being screamed in my mind and not one peep comes out of my mouth.



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28 Dec 2010, 10:43 am

vetwithAS wrote:
I find it insanely hard to talk about anything important or personal if I don't know how what I have to say will be received. The words are being screamed in my mind and not one peep comes out of my mouth.


I've learned to circumvent this - to act as though the topic is something wholly unrelated to me, that I'm having a nice, calm, clinical discussion about. It's completely impersonal but it works. If there's too much pressure, though, or no time to ease into character, nothing comes out.



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28 Dec 2010, 11:31 am

These might not be the same as what you mean, but some for me...

When a young boy I had trouble with please, thank you, etc. Though that might be normal for many kids.

Today I rarely address someone by name. This is because I often don't remember people's names. I often get "hello <my name>" in the office from people whose face I remember but whose name I don't, and sometimes even a face I don't recognize! So to avoid the faux pas of giving the wrong name, I've developed a habit of not addressing someone by name even if I think I know his name. It's a consious choice.

I don't like the pleasentries of greeting someone as you walk by, the "Hello" or "How's it going?" thing. I don't think that it's the case that I can't say such things because I do in response to someone else. I just annoys me for some reason so I go out of my way to avoid being put in a situation to say so. I'll even change aisles if I see someone I know walking in the opposite direction of my current aisle so that I don't have to pass and engage in that social custom.

There were several years when I'd freeze up when asked "What's going on?" I'm walking down the hallway, maybe even lost in thought and not noticing the other guy. Then he drops that question while passing me, forcing me to pause, gather my thoughts to figure out what actually is going on in my life, and by the time I finally got an answer out, he's already three paces behind me!



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28 Dec 2010, 11:36 am

theexternvoid wrote:
This is because I often don't remember people's names. I often get "hello <my name>" in the office from people whose face I remember but whose name I don't, !


God I hate this. I'll be unable to recall names of people I've known for years, people that I see everyday. It seems to have no rhyme or reason. It's like the name gets stuck in the retrieval system, half remembered. Then the next time I see them the name comes right out.


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vetwithAS
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28 Dec 2010, 8:46 pm

Natty_Boh wrote:
vetwithAS wrote:
I find it insanely hard to talk about anything important or personal if I don't know how what I have to say will be received. The words are being screamed in my mind and not one peep comes out of my mouth.


I've learned to circumvent this - to act as though the topic is something wholly unrelated to me, that I'm having a nice, calm, clinical discussion about. It's completely impersonal but it works. If there's too much pressure, though, or no time to ease into character, nothing comes out.


I've never understood how people can't see straight through the whole "so I know this guy who has this issue" kinda thing.