Home life!! !! !

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I know this is going to sound very selfish but even if i do stop behaving badly i fear the damage done to my parents health (esspecially my mother) is too late to reverse. if say in a few years (sooner) one of them gets very ill my brother will immediatly put blame onto me and he might come after me and stab me My mother has an esspecially sstressful job.

I think mentally i am really screwed up becaususe i just do not realise the long term consequence of my behaviour.

Is it really too late to save my parents?

I want to know what you talk about when your parents come home?

Id like to know what you have been quarlling with your parents about for ten years?

I feel badly for you and your parents. But it does seem that you are only able to talk about you, your feelings, and your life story... as you see it.

Jamesy... I don't really know what is going on. I don't know what you do all day? I don't know what these arguments are really like? It seems like you want to convince everyone that you too are suffering. But Im not sure what anyone can do about it?

Well i would love to get out of these sitatuions. if my mother dies for example my brother might kill me Obviously i would be devestated if my mum passed away but i am sure my brother would come after me with the intention of murdering me with what ever force he deemd appropriate.

having my brother to contend with just makes my life and my current scenario a million times harder.

maybe as well my family are just trying to scare me and exzaggerate the damage i am doing just to shut me up?

Last edited by Jamesy on 27 Jan 2011, 8:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Why don't you ask any of us if you are going to get taller?

I did a while ago but since i am early 20's i heard the same old thing from people on forums "Your finsihed growing"

Violence is never the answer. There are better ways to solve things. What would you do if you had a girlfriend and she made you angry. Would you hit her? There are better ways to solve things than using violence.

Jamesy, I'm 5 foot 9 and I've definitely stopped growing. Are you saying I'm short? Seriously, I don't know what to say. Maybe you should seek professional help because I don't think the web is going to be a terribly sympathetic place for this issue. I'm struggling. Maybe elaborate more on the questions you repeat Jamesy? Ask us not you mother

Maybe they are exaggerating. Truth is, your brother is probably always going to be taller than you and you just have to accept it. 5'10 is a good size, not as tall as 6'1 but still an awesome height, nonetheless.

You've got to make peace with your height, the way that I've made peace with my God-given Cockney accent. It took me years to accept my accent after my parents acted like losers that summer that I was 12.

Yeah a lot of guys cannot be 6'1. Most men are around the 5'9 or 5'10 mark.

I personally think its a bit harsh just for a 'push' to have go through a seveare beating. Again though i think people set these ridiciolous rules. We all have our breaking points and even a man in the right circumstance can lash out and push his mother if having meltdown or under pressure. sure if i pucnhed my mother full force in the face that would warrant me being put in the hospital but for a 'push' i think its absurd.

Do you have ideas about how to avoid this situation in the future? Are you going to try to keep it from happening again?

Yeah i will try and avoid it but do you agree with me though that its absurd to suffer a beating just because of a 'push'.

Laying hands on your mother in a violent way is totally unacceptable and you deserve to be kicked out or be arrested. You're not going to get any sympathy about this, Jamesy.

I bet if my mother pushed me she would not get into any trouble.

Maybe i a just a bit primitive and don't know the difference between right and wrong? We obviously live in a very civilised society where people are expected to conform and behave the expected way.

Possibly i am just blind to the unwritten rules of how to behave at home?

This is NOT unwritten Jamesy and has nothing to do with your lack of ToM. This is a pretty simple right/wrong thing and is documented in any number of laws and commandments. It is NEVER okay to hit or push or physically lay hands on someone when you are mad. Plain and simple. Black/White. You should be able to get that concept pretty easy since you do black/white so well.

Would you justify murder as easily as this push? I mean if you can push your Mum because she pissed you off, why would it be so bad if your brother killed you for making him mad?

Your entire family should be in therapy. PERIOD. And I don't say things like that lightly, I am currently attempting to do this with my own family. Many of the same issues have come up in our home. When violence enters the picture, things can quickly become dangerous.

1) You have issues you feel a strong need to talk over with someone, so you talk to your parents, and they don't seem to be listening.
2) The above situation seems to be causing you great frustration, and you are reacting with violence (PUSHING, is violence!)
3) The above situations are causing your brother fear and anger to the point that he is calling you "The Devil" and making death threats
4) You haven't said so, but given number three, I suspect you've probably made death threats of your own.

I see a potentially VERY dangerous situation there. MAYBE nothing of great concern other than things that have already happened will ever come of it.

Is it worth the risk?

NO! It's NOT.

YOU can't force your family to get help, but you are 21 years old, and NEED to get help IMMEDIATELY.

Talk to your doctor and GET IT. If you don't have a doctor, GET ONE.

You may even want to give serious thought to getting OUT of that house. But start with getting help,


NOW!