don't feel like talking

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I always have trouble thinking of things to say. I find it easier and a lot more relaxing to just not talk. Is this an autistic trait?

Yep, I'd say so. In the dsm-iv criteria for autism (not AS) there's a language section where you have to have one out of the 4 possibilities - one of them says "in individuals with adequate speech, marked impairment in the ability to initiate or sustain a conversation with others". I'm not sure if that's quite what you meant, but I think it definitely applies to me.

I find that it's very difficult for me to speak to certian people, when I don't feel like talking. If the person is tolerant towards differences in Individuals and Cultures, than I have no problems getting the words out, even though I really don't want to talk. If the person is intolerant towards the two things that I've just mentioned, and I don't want to talk, that's when I have a b***h of a time, getting my Words out, without stuttering. I also feel that it's pretty sad that my Family are the intolerant ones and the people at my Clubhouse and everywhere else, are the tolerant ones.

Yeah! I frequently feel like just sitting there not saying anything. I don't just have to be alone doing something I want to do by myself either, I often just sit in a group situation and listen to the conversation without the urge to contribute. It's very interesting to observe.. if I get involved then I worry more about what to say and how to say it rather then the actual conversation.

Sounds exactly like me as well.

I NEVER feel like talking. To be honest, in person, it feels like a chore to even talk, and it feels unnatural, uncomfortable, akward, forced. Yet I know that I need to work on it, and I know that being a mute would be considered even more strange in society, so I try to talk so I don't come off as too unusual, but it doesn't feel right, and I don't particularly enjoy it....

But many other times I find myself particularly chatty, trying to make a conversation happen, but the person doesn't give me anything back. They practically look like they are ignoring me or uninterested, so I feel hurt, and these experiences turn things back and make me want to be even more silent. It just sucks, and if you're an NT, for CRIPES SAKE I'm trying to do something nerve wracking for me and trying to connect with you, and you give me NOTHING, than I don't want to hear any damn complaints when I am 'too quiet'! *sigh* Quiet is just safer.

Alternatively, I LOVE talking online. I am very open and I discuss several topics, not just my obsession. I talk about my obsession with other people who are interested. I have many great friends online, and as I feel it works, my 'soul' or mind properly comes out to communicate online, but in person, you'll never get to know the real me. I'm just too scared and too clueless on what I'm supposed to be saying and doing.

The situation that makes me cringe the most is when somebody asks me, "What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?"

And I feel like telling that person that I don't wish to talk about my Feelings, because they're unconventional (crying over Double Decker Buses), or because they have their own shallow NT issues to deal with, so they shouldn't have to deal with my very real issues. And if I talk about issues that are real to me, I get the finger pointed at me, and told, "You bring that upon yourself!" It makes me want to throw-up. That's why I refuse to discuss my Feelings with the NTs in my Life.

I know exactly what you feel....

It sucks, and I still live at home, but I often find myself crying and, I try to hide it as best I can. I don't want Mom or Dad to be all 'Whats wrong?' And I appreciate that they care, but, they honestly don't back away until I talk about it, but its not something they can relate to, its not something I WANT to explain. I hate crying alone, and feeling alone in my feelings, but thats just the way it is, cause no one understands it....

If I try to open up to someone (parents or friend) and explain what I go through, I often hear:

"Grow up"
"Get a life"
"Get real"
"You'll never get anywhere with that negative attitude"
"We need to get you a REAL boyfriend"

They try to act all nice and like they are there for you, they complain when you don't talk to them, but then they judge you and make you sound like a moron when you DO try to explain, so why bother with it...

My online friends are alot more understanding, but still, sometimes I get stuck and I feel like I don't know HOW to talk about it, so I just won't. I dunno, its complicated.

Yep, that sounds like me.



That happens to me too. Conversation never seems to work well even when I'm trying. What happens to me a lot is that somehow I end up confusing people - maybe because my thinking is so visual and theirs isn't? It'll take me a few tries to get them to understand what I'm talking about even though I thought it was perfectly clear the first time...



I express myself so much better in writing. A lot of aspies and auties are that way. When my husband reads something I've written, he says that's "the real Amy".

I frequently don't feel like talking. And there are even more times when I wish other people would shut up.

I also feel more comfortable interacting online.

sometimes ill go for days shutting people out because im not in the mood to talk, i'll speak if spoken to but most of the time i just shut up and not say a word for hours on end. i get like that at work alot and i was like that in school, so i've always been the "quiet one".