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Is denial common for parents?

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Puppygnu
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02 Feb 2011, 9:40 am

Quote:
Assorted comments. Do many parents have difficulty with slowly coming to terms with what a child may or may not have? Yes. Generally speaking, is the role of parenting given to the parents vs others including sisters, brothers, and so on? Yes. If children display some symptoms of what might be a neurological challenge, it's a good idea to secure a correct diagnosis sooner or later. At the same time, a correct diagnosis is no guarantee of good or effective treatment at all. Generally speaking, it can be very difficult to accurately diagnose every five year old child with what they may actually display. Often it can take time for the child to grow a little older to begin to see what's there/what's not there. The idea of early intervention and aggressive treatment as a double fix (instant gratification) for all five year old children is a myth (aka nonsense). The idea of an early diagnosis and then aggressive intervention in a lot of cases is veiled advertising for persons who make money off of autism/autism products/ autism therapy sessions. Some autism promoters are far more interested in making money off of children with autism than actually helping the children. Question was: What I was wondering is how common is denial and how detrimental is it to wait? If a young child does have autism, is it possible that the young child can be helped by a correct diagnosis and treatment by the right professional/teacher/whoever? Yes. At the same time, that is an ideal outcome and again, not guaranteed at all in all cases. Good luck.


I wish I said that.



kx250rider
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02 Feb 2011, 12:23 pm

There is a boy in our extended family; (age 3-ish), who is very obviously on the spectrum. The parents are very secretive about what (if any) diagnosis has been issued, and they vehemently deny anything to do with "AUTISM" (as if leprosy). They have been seemingly forced by other family members due to concern, to offer SOME KIND of explanation. All they will say, is that the boy has been put in all kinds of therapy; including speech, gross motor, basic potty training, and other things. He was denied access to preschool, and the reasons were not disclosed to the rest of the family. Their other son; age 1, is progressing perfectly normally for his age, and if anything this should be proof to the parents that they're not at fault (if you even consider spectral disorders to be a fault at all). But they will not hear of it, as their family picture must be perfect, I guess.

For my wife (a former special ed teacher) and myself (h. f. autism), this whole scenario is blatantly and obviously a form of child neglect. This poor boy is destined to face life compelled to be an NT, and he will fail miserably just as I did, when I was in his situation. I just wish someone would grab the parents (God bless them anyway), and shake them off their high horse!! !! ! There's no doubt that they love their son more than anything else in their lives, but they are so sadly misguided and frustratingly in denial of the truth.

This post is written in a much stronger tone than most of those I have written here, but this one strikes a personal nerve.

Charles



Janissy
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02 Feb 2011, 12:36 pm

kx250rider wrote:
I just wish someone would grab the parents (God bless them anyway), and shake them off their high horse!! !! !


That somebody will be a school teacher. Probably his kindergarten teacher will bring it up at the parent-teacher meeting and insist on setting up an IEP meeting.

Unfortunately if they are emotionally invested in his not being "different", then they will be focused on the types of therapy intended to make a child appear not autistic rather than the type of therapy that teaches coping strategies. But that could change with time.