Things my therapist said today

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The only other (diagnosed) Aspie I know of is my best friend... and I can tell you that she definitely uses the internet in this way.

There's a huge difference in being able to talk to people online versus in person. It's much easier to mask social difficulties if you're not having a real-time conversation. You don't have to worry about awkward pauses. You can take your time coming up with a response. No need to worry about eye contact, no need to see facial expressions, etc.. there's also no way anyone can see you stimming, for example. It's easier to pretend to be normal online. I thought it was a fairly well-documented phenomenon.

I can see where she might think of the internet as a "crutch" for you... but it's a chicken-and-the-egg argument. You probably had social difficulties even before you started using the internet or communicating online. As did I. And so did my friend. While the internet may not have helped in some regards, it has opened up a very rare opportunity for us to communicate in ways we would not originally have been able to. I'd be a lot more isolated right now if it weren't for the internet.

Why is there such a lack of qualified therapists who deal in ASD? With 1 in 150 people having an ASD you think there'd be more of a market...

I think it must be even harder for adult females to get a diagnosis. I'd like to go myself but feel I'd get told I seem totally normal (which of course I look like, but definitely am not).

Yeah, it seems really common. It's one of the things that I came across frequently during Autistics Speaking Day, and I was like...wait, this is me.

And yes, going online actually made it easier for me to improve my ability to socialize. Plus a host of benefits that mean that I have a chance to make a good impression before I ever see someone face to face. If anything, I socialized much better IRL after I got online than before. I did have a lot of social troubles offline, hence very few friends and most of them well outside my age group.

Also, it's much easier for me to approach people online.

And I mean, the internet is a crutch for me. A crutch is an assistive device that helps you walk. The internet helps me communicate.

I don't know why it's so hard. :< It makes me afraid to approach my therapist about it all, though. I don't want to be told that I just have social anxiety or something else, especially since I know there's more to it than that.

The main thing that makes me doubtful is that female Aspies are particularly hard to diagnose because they are able to mask their symptoms so well. My mom is a great example... she is an excellent actress. To the point where no one would ever realize anything is wrong. She has perfected the art of charming people. At first sight she comes across as a very social person, but in reality, she is very reclusive. It's all just an act. A good one, but an act nonetheless. And acts are very tiring. She is diagnosed bipolar, by the way, but the more I think of it, the more I think she is probably on the spectrum somewhere. It's sad to think that no one picked up on this in the years that she was going through marriage and psychiatric counseling.

Well, if I ever get into medical school, maybe I'll become a psychiatrist or someone that actually studies this sort of thing. And, y'know... actually be helpful to people.

Exactly. It's a crutch. A necessary one. Hm... it reminds me of a video on ADHD I saw. This guy really seemed to know what he was talking about.

Editing: I think it's mostly the talk about the ramp that got me thinking. xD I guess the rest of the video isn't really applicable. I'm not sure why I felt compelled to share it. Do check out some of this guy's other videos, though. They are pretty interesting... and some of the stuff he says is right on.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZY5h-LhINU4[/youtube]

Last edited by syrella on 03 Feb 2011, 11:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I always laugh at the "internalize the ramp" line. It's so absurd.

The whole b-mod idea strikes me as a heck of a lot of work, though. And an accommodation that almost certainly will never exist in the workplace.

Yeah, it's a funny yet sad truth.

I never had any b-mod in any of my classes, though I am curious as to whether it would've helped or not. I do see that clear and immediate consequences do help me stay on track better. If the future stays far away, I'll just mind my own merry business. I can't do long term planning to save my life. xD But if there is an immediate consequence, then I'll be much more likely to get my stuff done.

And agreed... it'll never show up in the workplace. Not unless there is some major restructuring.

Very much the same for me.

That's a great idea! I toyed with the idea of stydying psychology in school for a while. But then I thought I might start to incorporate my patients' problems into my own life and go crazy.

Actually, I am similar to your mom. People think I'm very charming then don't believe me or understand when I tell them I prefer to be alone and feel a lack of connection with other people.

That is my concern too. I'm not sure if I'd be able to deal with people's problems everyday. I have enough trouble reading or watching the news. I tend to internalize a lot. My problem isn't a lack of empathy. On the contrary, I feel a bit too much empathy. It's easy to get overloaded.

Also, I've heard suicide is a real concern for some physicians...

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/410643_2

That said, the one female psychiatrist that I DID talk to... she said that all you'd need to do is have a therapist of your own. That's what she does, and she's fine. Life is gonna have its ups and downs no matter who you are.

And yeah. I am good at faking it too, but not as skillfully as my mom. People like me too, though, for some reason... that confuses the heck out of me. But the unfortunate thing about being charming is that it masks the symptoms.