Can autistics be sperm donors?

Post Reply New Topic

The world is a harsh place, and the truth is often harsh.

That is one of the reasons I find all the "neurodiversity" rhetoric so dangerous, as it puts an unbalanced and overly-positive image on a disability that causes tremendous suffering.

I'm with you. I think kfisher is WAY out of line here. First she boasts about how happy and successful she is and then turns around and says she regrets having her kids and so she think other people shouldn't have any? She seems to think she can parade how successful and happy she is as an person with an ASD, but obviously, she's special in her opinion. The rest of us are just f**ked and defective and should not dare spawn more f**ked and people.

Nothing brave about thinking you're an exemption and anyone else is beneath you. She needs to keep her regrets to herself and let other live their own lives as they see fit.

I have often thought about turning to a sperm donor for children in the coming years before it gets too late for me, and I wouldn't mind one who had Asperger's. Asperger's traits in my family are very consistent, going back several generations on my father's side, all the way back to the 1700's, and there's no evidence of anyone being low-functioning. Yeah, it's genetic, but why should I be afraid? If my parents knew what I know now about Asperger;'s, my childhood would have been a hell of lot better, and I would love to pass on all that I've learned being an Aspergian to my child.

I'd say that kfisher is one of the most high functioning individuals here. She is definitely an outlier from the typical AS individual with 80% unemployment rate.

First of all you are putting a LOT of words in what I said. I said that autism is genetic and you cannot control how MUCH of it you pass on. I was lucky in that had an Aspie kid and she is obtaining her PhD right now and my other was NT. I have no regrets RE my children. My ASD is offset by a very, very high IQ and I am in a very small percentage of people who have ASD who are also so succseful. The numbers do not lie. Most people with Autism do not have such a life as I. But even in as succesful as I am, my ASD causes me great grief and I find that I must make many adaptations.

If you donated sperm (or got pregnant) and instead of an Aspie gave birth to a very low functioning child with autism who suffered the way many (perhaps most) of the children with autism suffer would you still be so happy that you did that? Why would you NOT be afraid of that? Have you ever delt with the issues of raising a child who suffers from this disorder in such a way that it takes a toll financially, mentally and physically on everyone? How are you going to explain your decision to that child when they are in pain that you had them even though you knew the risk? Autism is NOT a joke and is not something to take lightly.

I did not say to do away with those of us who are on the earth already and I have no clue why anyone would think I said that. We exist and we need to have advocacy and changes to make our lives easier. We need to have respect and fair services. I am open and out in order to show that we are here and we come in many different flavors and I volunteer many of my hours now to helping us all. Do not mistake my words my friends. I am one of you and I act towards our greater good, but I see also that this disorder is (in fact) a disorder and in many more cases than not a very hard thing to overcome.

I am rare exception and until such time that the odds are stacked up in favor of all of us, I do not agree that we should breed without much thought towards the other side and the other possibilities.... That unborn child does not have a choice but you do.

Last edited by kfisherx on 08 Feb 2011, 10:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Thank you for NOT reading into my statement and being another voice of reason. I know this is a hard concept for people to grasp, but I am pro-neurodiversity and pro-cure. I will support all the research in the world that gets rid of the "bad" stuff that is autism.

Same here. I have always wanted to be a mommy. Besides my children would be adorable.

Back to the original question, it's possible you COULD donate, but under the listed traits, it would say Asperger's or mild autism. Somehow, i don't see a lot of potential mothers jumping on THAT sample.

my SO and i had kids before we even knew he was autistic. we have one NT, one with classic autism, and havent decided whether we will have more yet. we may, originally we had planned to have more already, but our asd son is rather rough physically and we are still holding off due to that. when i chose to have children i was willing to accept whatever the genetic lottery came up with. the odds have changed a bit with new knowledge, but not so drastically that the decision swings totally in one direction.

if you want to donate, i would say do so, but be sure to disclose if you are diagnosed or suspect you have autism. its one thing to accept the risk of passing on autism to your own biological child, but you have no right to make that decision for someone else without their knowledge. you absolutely need to disclose.

i dont regret our children at all. there is no guarantee either way, even two NTs can have an autistic child. my oldest son from a previous marriage got an educational diagnosis last month of asd, and while i have a few traits myself, my son has a higher number of traits with greater severity, and his biological father does not really show any traits. our joint son, with neither parent diagnosable, has enough traits to get asd eligibility for special education, and would probably end up either AS or PDD-NOS if formally diagnosed. the risk is there to have an autistic child, its there for a lot more than autism.

one thing for people who were diagnosed as adults to remember is that for your children, you are aware. the problems you faced and the difficulties autism caused for you do not have to be the same for your kids. autism isnt something that usually crosses a parents mind, but if you know its in your family line, you can be watchful. we did the same thing with another life threatening genetic condition, we watched for it in our kids, and when it occurred we caught it early and got it treated before our son got sick. i know my youngest son will not face the same exact problems his father did, because we know our son is autistic and have plans to help him navigate the world. it wont make his life perfect and typical, but it will make it full of acceptance and self awareness.

Pretty depressing discussion. I come on this site when I've had a bad day, to read the posts and to get a sense of support and community. I guess I should have avoided this subject. I am a self-diagnosed aspie and have an adopted son with an AS diagnosis. But after hearing some people talk about ASD people having kids as if its some kind of crime--and use the word "breeding"--I feel kinda sick.

Its a damn good thing there is no blood test for ASD like there is for Downs Syndrome or some of us might not be here.

I remember back in 2007 I think, a lot of women who went to a sperm donors had autistic children. They found out it was all the same guys sperm but he donated anonymously so they couldn't find him. A lot of people were saying he had AS because it would have been noticeable if he were a low functioning autistic.

Luckily for your children the traits of the soul are not genetic. Cognitive ability is not the only way someone can function at a low level in their life. I am amazed that as a parent you are able to refer to your children's level of social function as the reason you are lucky. The fact that you believe the existence of your children to be "not worth the risk" of what exactly I do not know. You have a child on the spectrum so I can only assume that the risk is passing on too much autism. You actually say that if you could "control the mildness" of it then it would be ok. The fact that you would support giving the child just a little autism speaks volumes as to your level of parental functioning. As a father, I can not think of one thing I would not risk to have my children here with me regardless of thier varying levels of functioning. My oldest son would probably not be able to sustain a level of function high enough to meet your standards, but I only see who he is not what he can or can not do. That is why I am lucky. The bottom line is, in many ways you do not live up to his standards either; however he would not be able to degrade you in such a way as to ask you not to reproduce. He lacks the evil a request like that requires and that is why I wouldn't change a thing.

Taking out all the personal insults and emotional dribble let's look at this from a logical perspective.

The topic is DONATING sperm as an ASD carrier. I suggest that is not of value as ASD is genetic and I see no logic in it. Whrn I google this subject it appears that I am not the only one seeing no logic in this. It appears that ASD disqualifies men from becoming donors in the first place. Hmmmmm.....

Also I personally stated that if I was 19 years old again and knew I has ASD and the risks involved I would choose to not have children. That doesn't mean I place no value on my current children nor does that say anything about me as a parent. It assumes that I do not know my children as they do not exist in that scenario. It assumes that the only knowledge I have is that I have a better than high chance of bearing ASD children. I would choose to NOTdo it. Why does that make me such a monster?

Last edited by kfisherx on 09 Feb 2011, 1:40 am, edited 1 time in total.

Because you're saying that they don't deserve to be born if they're not going to be NT, or only have a "mild" ASD.

Ummmm... no. I am saying that I would NOT want to be the person to make the decision for them. Have you seen the pain that ASD causes when it is severe? Do you know the pain? I know that I do not have the ability to raise a child with those needs and I know that I would not want to be responsible for inflicting that sort of pain on any human being. By knowingly breeding, I am deciding that my wants for a baby is more important than the quality of that baby's life. No thanks. It is very clear from my perspective that I would not take that risk.

First of all the the question was asking if someone with autism would be allowed to donate sperm. Yes the question did appear to be playful and light hearted in nature. You respond to the question with your very logical well researched perspective of "please do not". Your comment was so bizarre that people did not believe anyone would actually say what you did and mean it. The question was then disected and its meaning was explained. It was made clear that the question was hypothetical and dealt with whether or not the man with ASD would be turned away because of his diagnosis. This is when you felt that you would clarify your meaning as well by repeating your request to this man asking him not to donate his sperm stating your reason as ASD is genetic. Aside from the obvious, this is a cruel and flat out offensive act; begging a man not to chance the all too human act of reproduction because ASD is genetic. Another way to say that would be please no the baby may be like you. You backed that up with the very logical point of you would agree if they just give the kid autism light. That is when you insult anyone with or who cares for someone with autism by saying if you knew you were at risk of having a child with ASD you would not have had kids. You asked why this makes you a monster. All I can say is this didn't make you a monster. I don't know what made you a monster. What I do know is there was a total disregard for others' feelings. You displayed a narcisistic, self righteous attitude. You constantly belittle others and insult them and either don't know or don't care how anyone else feels as it never lets up. You put yourself so far above one man that you actually asked him not to reproduce. What I find most disturbing is that you're comfortable in acting this way. You seem to have a high opinion of yourself. Then I see things you say and I think, how? This is not exactly the description of an angel.
As to your overly thought out scenario about your kids all I can say is, whatever I don't care about the nature of your relationship with your kids. The fact that you are defending your abilities as a parent to a complete stranger is odd but whatever.

i wonder if kfisherx has asked her aspie daughter not to reproduce.....

for the record:

i too have an IQ in the upper upper regions (99.8 percentile), and i am the proud father of four wonderful and bright aspiekids, and have donated sperm to several woman, resulting in several wonderful and bright aspie and NT kids...

some of the resulting kids have inherited the IQ part... and some have inherited the ASD part... some both...

i think they will become great persons with great potentials.

it would be a loss to the world if i had followed kfisherx's advice, not to reproduce and spread wonderful aspie genes...

there are many Hi IQ people in the world who have lived a terrible life... with a lot of pain... so according to kfisherx's logic Hi IQ people should not reproduce...

kfisherx is not very intelligent.