Self-diagnosis was not confirmed by psychologist

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I don't even know what people are coming up with these days. My therapist suggested I don't have AS because I have a social life on the internet.

It clearly sounds like this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. "Impairment" doesn't mean these things are impossible, just difficult enough to cause problems.

Thank you.
This all happened to me at the supposed 'top' London hospital for autistic studies. If I got treated like that there then where can I possibly go from here, so depressed by it all I can't really function at the moment.

Maybe just some place where the doctor has some horse sense and treats you with respect and is willing to ping-pong it back and forth in a real conversation.

(and not some place where they're so effing proud of how smart they are)


I know with my own writing, a conscious decision that the reader is slightly smarter than I am, just doesn't happen to know this particular topic. Helps a lot.

I have started this topic: Family practitioner or internist for diagnosis?
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt151294.html
Would be interested in what people think. And no, you don't necessarily need to agree with me.

I have been obsessively reading up on Asperger's for the last month, almost non-stop, and although I am FAR from an expert, I have read often of people with AS who are in relationships and who have had friends. It is mentioned in many books and articles. There are people out there who have AS who say they are happily married, and/or been in many failed rships, certainly not that they haven't been in ANY! Sounds absurd to me. I would be angry, confused, and depressed also. You could take in a plethora of literature to show him otherwise ? One example, I just finished reading Aspergirls, and the author - Rudy Simone - who has AS, is now in a happy marriage and mentions other women with AS who are also in a good relationship. There are some who aren't, sure, but from what I believe it is not necessarily the be all and end all of it.

Liz

This is why it is important to see someone who specializes in diagnosing adults with AS. I still find people in the mental health profession who think OCD is synonymous with "neat freak" and still claim to be qualified to diagnose OCD.

Most people with AS are going to have some friends in life at one point or another, simply by way of circumstance and the social nature of others. Here is what the criteria states.



And



So you see, you can have social relationships and still have AS. No where does it say anything that implies that to have AS one must never have had a friend.

I would point out to him why his conclusion is not sound.

It is frustrating to have your ideas and knowledge dismissed so readily without adequate consideration. I guess all I can say is hang in there.

Myself I had a few friends while growing up, but none of them were made by me. They were the children of my parents' friends or my next door neighbor. So we were basically put together to play while they visited. I never went over to any of my classmates homes from grade school. It never even occurred to me to do so. The closest I got was borrowing one classmates Super Mario Bros. 3 video game for a week.

I homeschooled during high school and even though I played on a basketball team and in a bowling group I never hung out with anyone from there. My only real friends during highschool was a family in our homeschool group that my mom became friends with their mom and my younger brother hit it off with them. This family of 4 guys around my age are the only people that I would really call friends and that I even keep in contact with.

But if I just answered a question about how many people I played with while little it would seem like I did not have a socializing problem.

You know, I think in that area we might be a step ahead, in that we want other people who share some of our significant interests, and I guess most 'normal' kids are satisfied with sheer proximity.

Or, we can't understand why other people don't have the same really cool interests we have. Or, we kind of take a shared interest as insta-friendship and don't really have the patience/skills for a series of medium steps in a growing and evolving friendship.

So, once again, Asperger's is neither worse nor better, merely a difference. And like every human being, yes, I want to be accepted for who I am.

In a sense, at some point, you questioned his diagnosis, which was an authentic, sincere reaction on your part, and with good reason. And apparently, he felt he needed to "defend" his diagnosis. That is, when he made the preposterous statement that he would expect a person with Asperger's to have no history of friends or relationships, he may have been engaging in "be righter" behavior (which is an occupational hazard of the helping professions!).

I haven't as yet attempted to get an 'official' diagnosis but I have been told in no uncertain terms by an aspie friend of mine who is studying behavioural science that I am most definitely aspie (after a few tests)
As an adolescent I developed a tic, mentioned it to a Dr and he said "sounds like a habit"... Yeah, I've got a habit of throwing my head violently to one side and putting my neck out.. Right..

I've spent all my life "studying" people via observing and reading and experimenting... Body language, psychology... In an attempt to understand and fit in, you could almost say its a special interest
As a result I can pretend quite well for short periods of time, and doing so has become habit.

I don't know if I will ever attempt to get a diagnosis because quite frankly, I don't expect to be taken seriously. And it appears a lot of other have had that exact situation.. Pity they can't just do a blood test or something lol!
Unless for some reason I feel that a diagnosis is neccessary for my quality of life (besides the satisfaction of knowing 'for sure') I'll probably just continue to be that awkward eccentric person with a few awkward eccentric friends, lol.

Okay, you might be able to teach some of the rest of us.

One thing, I've learned is to soften my vision a little and gently scan the entire eye slit area. And this has been helped recently when a crack on my glasses got bigger and I've been wearing a slightly out-of-date pair!

You might have other methods.

And I, too, find being "on" socially to be exhausting.

It sounds like that issue is in the past, which is good. That seems like the kind of thing, a doctor a little more open-minded could treat, maybe start with a muscle relaxant. A doctor who's not a huge egotist who has to be "right." But more of the gentle attitude, okay, let's try this, if it doesn't work we can try this other thing (then this third thing, this fourth thing, for the human body is complicated) That is, more of a ping-ponging back and forth.

The tic isn't (usually) as severe as it once was.. And if people stare I simply explain what it is and usually they're good about it.. Don't usually damage myself with it nowdays so I just live with it.
As for helping others, I have inadvertently found myself in a bit of a teacher(or parent!) role with a friend of mine who is also a suspected aspie.. She has a hard time with independance, looking after herself, because she had an unfortunate upbringing where she wasn't taught much by her parents.

I can't think of any advice off-hand but if I see someone struggling with a problem I may have a hint or potential solution for, I will not hesitate to attempt to help

Good for you! It's pretty neat that you're helping your friend. And remember (and I sometimes have to remind myself of this), you don't need to do anything extraordinaire, or be some a super version of yourself. Just the fact that I'm there is enough.

To me, at this point, all NT's are the pretty much alike. They are not like me. Same way the NT's like to group us as very much not like them, and having certain traits.

The reality of the situation is that aspies and nt's all differ like nt's differ based on their upbringing so do we.

Some Aspies, I think, were diagnosed early on and MAY have avoided social situations. I believe that there are aspects of social situation that we can learn, but if we never get by the part that is the small talk we also never get to try our more in depth conversations skills. Or our professional conversation skills.

Someone who is forced in to social situations (maybe had to deal with a roomate) may have gotten passed the small talk and accumulated experience in all other aspects of conversation. Or, maybe they learnt a way to deal with the small talk too. Maybe in a psychological session they seem fine.

Further, diagnoses are inaccurate because as we see here people differ in their symptoms.

Certain learning disabilities which are common in aspies may stop one from being able to learn or remember facts and numbers showing a non interest in specific topics.

Even some other aspects may stop us from being diagnosed.

I went to see a psychologist a while ago and it was said that asperger's cannot be ruled out. I was frustrated that I was incapably to explain my symptoms in a way that could be understood. It was said that I didnt talk enough about my special intrests.

Firstly, NT's judge the extent of something by your emotional response to it. I have no emotional response in my regular speech. Ask me if I have special interest I will say yes i do. Ask me how many I will say a random number (dysarithimia). This to me should be enough. But, what is needed for them to understand is some thing like I'm on my PC for 18 hours a day, I dont eat i dont answer the phone and i am basically debilitated and in capable to get of the pc. It is at a point that is has taken over my life. Then they understand. But since you are not being yourself, You can come across as awkward which is often as lying or worse yet over exaggerating.

There are many other things that can also give a bad impression. Like some aspies tend to laugh or smile when giving symptoms, and also have trouble explaining symptoms to doctors. Sometimes, this can be seen as lying. Some people also come across as looking like they are lying when they are forced to give a emotional responses to explain some thing for it to be taken seriously like mentioned above.

All of these things and many more, coupled with the fact that there is pdd pdd-nos and AS and Aspie. There is very little chance that you will get the correct diagnoses. It is questionable if there is actually a difference in the above conditions and even if there is, no one really understands how they relate to oneanother. Pdd can mean pdd or it can be short for pdd-nos. Children are often diagnosed more generally so as not to label them just yet. (cause they know its all mixed up). For us adults, it don't matter, we will die before they figure this stuff out and our parents aren't about to turn around and start suing people for misdiagnosing once things are figured out.

Every one wants a certain diagnoses. The doters know this. Some will feel like the above conditions are all the same so anyways why not give them the diagnoses they want. Other's will over compensate for that fact and do the opposite, Others will look for small details of differences between the conditions and try to to categorize you not realizing that the small details they are looking at pale in comparison to the fact that you may have been misunderstood on a major issue like a learning disorder.

I say go to see some one to get in idea of what you may have. Mention that you want a 1 hour session explaining how this conclusion was derived
form there use you Aspie mind to find out why certain things weren't looked at or if you maybe didn't mention something now put it all together and compare.

The result will be not so much a useless diagnoses but rather in idea of who you are, why you had difficulties in life. what aspects you can work on. and how to use your weak and strong points to be.

What I bolded, is ridiculous. I had a best friend when I was in elementary school and a few other friends but I had social impairments as well. I was diagnosed with HFA/AS around nine. It seems you need to get a new psychologist. If you really think you have AS than go with your gut. You know yourself better and if a psychologist can't understand that its his problem.