DISCLOSURE in the workplace

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My boss was VERY warm and supportive. He found out through someone else, called me into a 1-to-1 meeting, explained he'd Googled it and got worried, and offered to do whatever he could to assist me. For him the happiness of his team is a matter of personal pride, so it took me about 10 minutes to convince him that I was happy and didn't need any help. I really liked him anyway, but he went up 100 points in my estimation for his approach that day.

Well, what do you do when you have a boss with a narcissistic personality...although I disclosed mine, and said that my "accommodation" is for me to take notes, which I need to revisit from time to time (due to short-term memory and processing speed issues), and for me to check my perceptions with people (e.g. "when you say X, do you really mean Y?") those should not be a problem BUT she obstructed that approach by saying that because the stakeholders we deal with in our company are our "customers" that I have to be able to read between the lines, because I am acting as a "salesperson" and I am representing her, and she is concerned with "looking good"...so I should not have to solicit perception checking (again, e.g. "I'm sensing you really mean this is what you're concerned about, is that right?" type of checks - it's the only way I'll 100% know) - she expects that I should just know. We had this conversation a few days ago, and I disclosed my Dx 3 mths ago. Plus she further nullified my accommodations strategy by saying that "time is money" and that I could save extra minutes by avoiding the clarifying of perceptions that I should already be picking up "naturally". The job posting never said that I had to act as a salesperson, even in an abstract way (constructive dismissal, anyone??)

That's all highly subjective though, that these abilities are needed for me to succeed in my job - I do systems/process analysis, which is mostly technical and documentary. I am being held to an unfair narcissistic standard. I often wonder, if my post was switched with a burn victim, a vastly obese person, or a gay person, she would probably also not want them representing her, even if they were honest, hardworking people with high IQ's. Also what if she had a staff member whose second language was not English, and might need to occasionally get stakeholders to repeat stuff - is she going to say that "time is money"...?

I'm in Canada - the human rights code says that "customer preference" is not an excuse to exclude the integration of otherwise marginal groups, and she purports to speak for those customers. I think, if a customer has a need to be fulfilled, they should clearly express it as it's in their best interests to do so - I should not have to read between the lines. The human rights code also prohibits harassment, and giving incessant criticism to someone with a medical condition that is only somewhat treatable, and not essential to my job, would probably fall under that banner. But I imagine it would be harder to prove than blunt force harassment, i.e. calling me "freak" or "rain man" or whatever slurs.

I work at Intel Corp and live in the US. Don't know about the laws in Canada.

That said even if I lived in the US and worked for a beotch like the one you work for.... I'd look for different work.

Jayo, your boss already doesn't like you. I recommend that you look for other work while simultaneously trying to perform well at your current job.

And do NOT let them know that you are looking for a job.

It sounds like explaining your situation only gave them a label to apply to their existing disdain for you.

Well, that's pretty much a given that she doesn't like me - and it's also apparent that she doesn't like my kind.

I've already been looking, believe me, since a few months ago but not as intensive as I should...2 interviews, 1 rejection, 1 up in the air, 2 more interviews this month. I have family commitments with an infant daughter. And YES, I am not saying a word about my search elsewhere, there's no need for me to, and it would be tantamount to me saying that I'm a malcontent there - anyone with an ounce of street smarts would not say such a thing!

Well, the main benefit of disclosing means they can't claim ignorance and say "I didn't know" if it comes down to a complaint of harassment or discrimination (saying that in a holistic sense, for all readers of this thread to note).

Despite disclosing, I am still subject to covert mockery, like she will say that she doesn't understand something I've said or written in an email, yet when I show the email or relay the verbal comment to another party, he/she will say they understand perfectly - she is just being perverse - mocking my challenge with "reading between the lines" in an exaggerated sort of way which is harassment, but harder to prove than name-calling. I've saved those surly emails, though, which is fodder for later.

All things considered, I truly believe that the right to accommodate a large & growing number of people with Aspergers where there are "gaps" in perceptory faculties outweighs a narcissistic need of a few to be "represented" by someone in a way that shows finesse, smoothness, sales acumen etc. I didn't sign up for a sales or P.R. job or a hospitality industry post. It's about being subject to an unjust standard to perpetuate the exclusion of Aspergers from the mainstream.