Japanese Asperger's - do you have any insights?

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Yensid
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28 Feb 2011, 4:55 pm

Kiseki wrote:
And you should know the truth DOES come out, while drinking. And then the following morning it is just completely ignored. I had a friend who told me all kinds of terrible stuff about her past and her family and her present situation. When I asked her if she was okay the next day she said "Oh, I'm fine! Thanks for listening to my story!" as if nothing had ever been said. That bothered me to no end and made me feel like she was an untrustworthy person.


I do that, and I don't even drink. When I let down my defenses, I will tell people the most personal things. Then, later, I get really annoyed that they actually remember what I said, and try to minimize it.


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wavefreak58
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28 Feb 2011, 4:57 pm

So do aspies in Japan think right to left?


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Yensid
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28 Feb 2011, 5:33 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:
So do aspies in Japan think right to left?


Why should they? Do you think that Japanese is written from right to left, or am I missing something?


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28 Feb 2011, 5:41 pm

Yensid wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
So do aspies in Japan think right to left?


Why should they? Do you think that Japanese is written from right to left, or am I missing something?


I thought Japanese Kanji was right to left top to bottom. Another attempt at lame humor on my part.


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Yensid
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28 Feb 2011, 5:48 pm

wavefreak58 wrote:
I thought Japanese Kanji was right to left top to bottom. Another attempt at lame humor on my part.


Ah, okay. Japanese is usually written top to bottom, with columns going from left to right. Sometimes, for convenience it is written horizontally. In that case, as I recall, it is written from left to right.


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Yensid
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28 Feb 2011, 5:56 pm

This thread reminds me of one of the reasons that I think that my mother is an aspie.

If I have something written in Japanese, and I ask her what it says, she will read it to me in Japanese. She won't translate it, unless I explicitly ask her to translate it. She always does this. She is not trying to be funny.


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Kiseki
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28 Feb 2011, 7:35 pm

Yensid wrote:
Kiseki wrote:
And you should know the truth DOES come out, while drinking. And then the following morning it is just completely ignored. I had a friend who told me all kinds of terrible stuff about her past and her family and her present situation. When I asked her if she was okay the next day she said "Oh, I'm fine! Thanks for listening to my story!" as if nothing had ever been said. That bothered me to no end and made me feel like she was an untrustworthy person.


I do that, and I don't even drink. When I let down my defenses, I will tell people the most personal things. Then, later, I get really annoyed that they actually remember what I said, and try to minimize it.


Why do you get annoyed? See, my brain can't put that together. If someone shares something personal with me or vice versa I want to keep talking about it. I figure that moment wouldn't have occurred unless there was a meaning behind it.


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Yensid
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28 Feb 2011, 7:42 pm

Kiseki wrote:
Why do you get annoyed? See, my brain can't put that together. If someone shares something personal with me or vice versa I want to keep talking about it. I figure that moment wouldn't have occurred unless there was a meaning behind it.


It is because I realize that I have revealed too much, that I said something that was too personal, considering the relationship. It is fear, because I have confided in people, and have been betrayed. It is insecurity, because I do not feel that I am worth worrying about.


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02 Mar 2011, 6:13 pm

DandelionFireworks wrote:
They'd become a hikikomori.


I'd so happily marry a kikikomori girl ... as long as she's not a yupie one. There's a difference between kikikomori and yupies that label themselves kikikomori O.o



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02 Mar 2011, 7:13 pm

I think Asperger's and autism is starting to recieve attention in the Japanese government and media. For those of you who saw my thread earlier, where I was talking about meeting Temple Grandin, the reporters that I talked to were doing a special on Asperger's/autism for the NHK. Also, there was that manga that was published some time ago, believe it was called "Within the Light" and it was about a mother and her autistic child. That was first published in 2005, and it's helped a lot with awareness. I believe that the Japanese are starting to see the issue and hopefully they will take steps to make things easier for autistic children, just like it is done here in America.


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02 Mar 2011, 10:38 pm

Akari_Blue wrote:
Jayo wrote:
Hi all - a question has often crossed my mind, how well would a Japanese Aspie fare with their condition? I can see some of their demeanour being beneficial, such as intense focus and attention to detail, logical mindset, but on the downside...I think of all the "obscure" concepts such as saving face, saying "no" indirectly 21 different ways, how low you should bow to a given person and what timing etc etc...anybody have any thoughts on the subject?? Personally I think the poor guy born in Japan with Aspergers has a very rough and bumpy road ahead of him.


I would say the Japanese people I knew as a child and a teenager were far more tolerant and accepting of me than the vast majority of Americans that I knew at the same ages. Although, I am not "aspie", I have actual autism. So perhaps that makes a difference.

I would say your pity is misplaced and inappropriate, unless you have spent the 2+ years fully immersed in Japanese culture to be able to begin understanding it then you would not know whether it would be harder or not. I do not mean anime, movies, manga, TV shows. I mean time in Japan or surrounded by Japanese community.

I would say it is not true that Japanese people in general are "focused on society to the absolute exclusion of all else". That I think is American-biased belief based on stereotypes of young Japanese people, and far from the actual truth. Each culture has it's good and bad sides, stereotypes only show a teeny tiny portion of a culture to outsiders so it is easy to get entirely wrong ideas about a people.

Some American people, so arrogant to think they know another culture without spending time in it! A stereotype also, but one that is proving true at least once, right here.


Its an interesting question.
One on hand Japanese culture is supposidly feriously conformist. Thus you would assume that an individual inpaired in confroming (like an aspie) would be worse off than in a supposidly individualistic culture like America.

But Japanese culture is itsself very aspergian. Very introverted and Japanese have a way of being very focused on interests with tunnel vision devotion that seems very aspergian.

So perhaps an aspie would actually fit in better in Japan than in an Anglo Saxon country.



wasted
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09 Jul 2015, 1:30 pm

They don't.
Japanese culture does not accept those who are different. It values conformity, perfection, obedience and strict etiquette. You have to read signs and know what people want without them speaking and behave perfectly in every different situation.
Aspergers is considered a mental illness and such a person either receives disability pension or is locked up.
Nobody would hire a person with Aspergers or consider marrying one.



beneficii
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10 Jul 2015, 4:43 pm

Yensid wrote:
wavefreak58 wrote:
I thought Japanese Kanji was right to left top to bottom. Another attempt at lame humor on my part.


Ah, okay. Japanese is usually written top to bottom, with columns going from left to right. Sometimes, for convenience it is written horizontally. In that case, as I recall, it is written from left to right.


You got the columns backward: They go right-to-left. People like to make it out to be some weird exotic thing, but once you read enough you get used to it.

The Chinese characters themselves are each typically written from the top-left to bottom-right. When you learn them, you should pay attention to the stroke order (or 書き順 "kakijun"). Once you learn the stroke order of a lot, though, it sould get to be pretty easy to remember. kakijun.jp is a good website for that.


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10 Jul 2015, 7:52 pm

Kiseki wrote:
I live in Japan and teach an autistic boy now. I am not sure if he is HFA or Aspie cuz he is only 9 and I only see him once a week. His parents seem very kind and supportive. What kind of schooling he is getting is unknown.

In my class I do notice the other kids starting to get annoyed with him. I taught him 2 years ago and all of the kids were like "Sugoi! Sugoi!" because he could read English very quickly and perfectly and would even read the backs of books like who the publishers were and such!

Now that these same kids are getting older they are less impressed. Sure, my student can still read English very very well but he is uncoordinated and has ADHD so causes his team to lose when playing games. I can see these issues getting worse as he starts junior high. I really feel for him.

For me personally I think it would be quite hard to be Aspie in Japan, as a Japanese person.

Kiseki wrote:
I live in Japan and teach an autistic boy now. I am not sure if he is HFA or Aspie cuz he is only 9 and I only see him once a week. His parents seem very kind and supportive. What kind of schooling he is getting is unknown.

In my class I do notice the other kids starting to get annoyed with him. I taught him 2 years ago and all of the kids were like "Sugoi! Sugoi!" because he could read English very quickly and perfectly and would even read the backs of books like who the publishers were and such!

Now that these same kids are getting older they are less impressed. Sure, my student can still read English very very well but he is uncoordinated and has ADHD so causes his team to lose when playing games. I can see these issues getting worse as he starts junior high. I really feel for him.

For me personally I think it would be quite hard to be Aspie in Japan, as a Japanese person. Certain aspects of the culture may seem appealing- such as no expected eye contact- but others are downright miserable. There is STRONG pressure to conform and join a group and also to behave in socially-acceptable ways within that group. Work is very team-oriented. There is also a great deal of socializing afterhours with colleagues. Probably the #1 worst thing for me in this culture however is honne/tatemae. The honne is a person's real thoughts and feelings, which seldom can be revealed. The tatemae is the face you show to the public. Nothing is ever direct here. That is INCREDIBLY INCREDIBLY bothersome for me. If I were Japanese I honestly probably would have killed myself by now or learned English and escaped.

Anyway, that's the information I can offer!


I have an Aspie friend who was born in America, but his parents are Japanese nationals.

America is billion time easier....he gave up his Japanese citizenship because he felt Japan had nothing to offer him.

He is the oldest born. Picture having uber helicopter parents. He was expected excel at sports, school work, after school clubs, and there WERE expectations. Like you better be in the right kind of after school club. His parents really didn't care if he couldn't deal. You buck up to save face. You better eat your meltdowns and not humiliate the family in front of the teachers or strangers. You better be one with the group, even when is like acid on an open wound. The group is EVERYTHING in Japan.
So no one is going to cater "cater to your issues", and they do not tell you EVER what you did wrong. (like the previous post said above). Where an American co worker might call you an s**t head and a tard, in Japan it is all very polite and you get marginalized to the side lines. Nothing is ever direct.

In America, no one really cares if you are married or dating. They sure the hell do in Japan, and as a first born son you better get married. And it better be to the "right" girl. And her family can't be an embarrassment to you father's boss (WTH, right?)
And your boss, your dad's boss and a zillion co workers WILL be invited. You have no say.

Finding a serious relationship is a nightmare (marriage). Love isn't enough, and you better bring a lot to the table. A Japanese man might whore around with foreign women, but a son would never ever bring one home to mom and dad as a wife. Especially a first born son. I know there are blogs about mixed Japanese marriages, almost all are Japanese women and foreign men. The pressure on the males to conform, fit in and produce that golden boy grandchild is insane.

He said Americans have a surface love affair with Japan. You maybe get a good 20% of the culture when you teach English for a few years. Expats have told me you will never really fit in, even if you can fluently read, write and speak Japanese. Everything is at a polite arms length, and in direct. A foreigner can do a cultural f**k up, and they might tell you why. They tell you why because you aren't one of them. When my Japanese friend f***s up, it is beyond the pale, because as a Japanese person you are just suppose to pull this stuff out of the thin air and know it. Period.

So as an Aspie Japanese male, living in Japan is very difficult. He said American has a greater tolerance for weird/not the status quo compared to Japan.

His father is an international business man, so the family has status and money. It may be different for the dude whose father is a factory rat for Honda.

ETA: sorry for the screw up on the quote. My phone will not let me edit it correctly.



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19 Jul 2015, 12:06 am

I would say if you are interested in learning Japanese and perhaps spend time in Japan, I think you should listen to the attitude of bloggers like Khatzumoto of AJATT and Benny of Fluent in 3 Months. Though I don't live in Japan, I have spent a lot of time engaging with the language. I think these things can be helpful:

1.) Become quite familiar with all kinds of Japanese media, in Japanese.

2.) Try to avoid ghetto-izing yourself and especially don't get caught up in groups that spend a lot of time complaining about Japan and Japanese people, or who otherwise try to discourage you. I understand that this is a common trap for immigrants who teach English. (And yes, if you move to Japan and you do not have Japanese citizenship, then you become an immigrant, not a detached "expat.")

3.) Realize that Japan has 130 million people, so you are going to get individual differences. Even Japanese has a phrase for this. Though the idiom「出る杭は打たれる」"The nail that sticks out gets hammered," is quite commonly cited by foreigners, there is another idiom you should keep in mind: 「十人十色」"10 people 10 colors." This basically means "Different strokes for different folks." Try to find people with similar interests or that you otherwise get along well with.

4.) Try methods that allow you to attain a high degree of proficiency in Japanese before going, such as Antimoon and AJATT.


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beneficii
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19 Jul 2015, 6:10 pm

beneficii wrote:
4.) Try methods that allow you to attain a high degree of proficiency in Japanese before going, such as Antimoon and AJATT.


Of course, if you can do an exchange program, where like you go to school in Japan and/or live with a Japanese family, that can be helpful and if you want to learn Japanese you should take any such opportunity, but if you're just going over to teach English I'd recommend having knowledge in place BEFORE you go.

True story: I remember coming across a white American woman who lived in Tokyo nearly 10 years ago. She said that she had lived in Japan for 15 years, taught English, talked about how only having a bachelor's degree greatly disadvantaged her in her job, complained a lot about life in Japan, said she wouldn't be able to find a job back in the States because all she can do is eikaiwa, and said she knew very little Japanese and "didn't have time" to take classes or to do anything else to increase her ability in Japanese. Let's just say, I vowed not to end up like this woman. IMO, if you're just going to end up like this, you might as well forget about living in Japan.

Of course, Japan is not perfect, but you can try being smart about it and avoid some common traps.


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