Oh Brother

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I would think that it would be encouraging him and showing acceptance in his special interest. I don't know what buying off means. I don't see how it would be bribing him. You bribe someone when you want them to do something for you. How is giving him something he loves be trying to get him to do something for you? If anything it will make him happy for a short while.

These fights may be over nothing to you but to him they do have a reason. Why not just tell him everything will be ok even if he doesn't respond?

It sounds like he is in a lot of constant distress. Have your parents tried to talk to him? It shouldn't just be left up to you seeing how you are not the cause of his meltdowns. You might need to get him therapy too.
And most of all you need to show him understanding. He's autistic. He experiences the world differently. His emotions are far more intense and hard to control. He might not even understand what's going on himself. He is also dealing with a lot of stress from change that was out of his control and he doesn't know how to deal with it. To top it off he is a teenager and those years for an autistic are never easy. When we go through puberty it feels 10 times worse than it is for NT's.

I guess, I...just feel weird. The way my mom always told me "I love you" was to buy a gift. She thought that buying me a gift would suffice for her not really being part of the family. Or suppporting me, when I knew something wasn't the same about me. That I didn't think the same. She mocked me a lot. But felt like buying me stuff would somehow make me feel better.



I've told him it will be all right once. A couple of times. Its just really hard for me. My dad whom I suspect is undiagnosed, doesn't help much in the department of his needs. Which means my brother is on his own. But then I'm to get married, have my own family soon. This just wasn't a good decision. Not only that but I have the middle brother who is 19 and he's has mild aspergers as well. I feel like I am the glue trying to piece this unstability together. So when he doesn't tell me anything I don't know how to tell him these things like "its going to be okay". But it won't...not right now. Its a bit of a lie.



Yeah, dad is to logical and he lacks empathy. More so than I do. So dad tries to be logical with my younger brother and as much as I understand he probably likes logical more. No one is addressing his emotions.
Mom...yeah mom. I don't know if she thinks she is helping or not. But telling him "its not your fault" and "i am not divorcing you or your brothers, just your father" I don't think that helps situations. Usually when you say something isn't something, it usually is. Or that's how I interpret it.

aww Moog what a sweet response and so so right on...maybe he just needs someone to hang around more and do stuff either with him or in the same room with him...spend time with him, not just a walk through but park for awhile close

sorry you are going through this, hugs for you too

He has A LOT of emotion to vent, and it has to be let it out! It's unhealthy for depression and this amount of stress in the developing years.

Only NT's see it as a bribe, He 'should' just see it as new projects and something to look forward to - and focus his emotion on..?

PTSS is a bad mix with asperger's :s

It's going to be extra hard for him because with his parents divorce he's probably not getting the attention, support and guidance that is crucial in the younger ages, which means his anger builds and his intelligence in how to control it, is just staying the same. Lego is a really good spot to vent his anger or at least reduce it greatly.

In a dramatic sense, Lego is the way I got through my divorce

Thanks everyone. Well I did get him some kind of mini Lego modelset, he likes building to the instructions sometimes. He was very happy, and bounded off to go complete the model. It was a good sign in my mind.

Thanks everyone for the advice.