Asperger's and lying ...

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i think i can lie well, it's something i've learned to do better as an adult, but it isn't something i enjoy doing. even lying about petty things is stressful for me. telling a lie usually results in unnecessary anxiety for me.

I am an honest person, but should someone decieve me, the game is on.

You just gave a textbook example for the biggest lie catcher error- Google it........

The Brokaw hazard

There is not one universal system in catching all liars. The best thing to do is to watch (in order of importance) the body, voice, face, and words; people tend to place empasis in reverse of that order. If you catch an emblematic slip, sure sign of a lie. If you are trained in catching micro expressions, you are good to go. Ask a common question- watch where their eyes go to recall memory watch where they go to fabricate memory; ask them them the ringer question- watch their eyes. Polygraph tests only detect ANS(autonomous nervous system) responses to interogation techniques; I know how to defeat them all.

Wow. Good tip.

It seems to me that the reason aspies are believed to be incapable of lying is because we are supposed to be so mindblind that it is assumed we cannot perceive enough about other people's thoughts or feelings to even know enough what it is that we should lie about.

Well, I don't know if all aspies are mindblind, but I do believe that I am mindblind. I usually don't have a clue what people outside my family are truly feeling or thinking unless they tell me or give me some really clear sign, so I am not able to tell very well if they are lying. Although I can assume what they might feel and need through a kind of reasoned judgement, I am usually clueless if they have some personal hidden agenda.

In reference to the above post, I can see how a bit of information about how to analyse body language, and other physical and psychological behaviors could be helpful in order to alert those of us who are truly "mindblind" to tell whether or not someone is lying.

I can lie, usually if i do its to avoid hurting someone feelings or because its the social norm, for example if someone asks you how you are you answer fine reguardless of the truth. I don't like lying, i'm quite a straight person and i could never lie consistantly or keep a lie up for a long period of time. I would find it difficult and embaressing.

Incidently another thing i am utterly incapable of doing it holding a grudge. It just seems completely pointless and childish to me. Things like revenge just would never cross my mind.

I can't lie. I never was any good at it. in my teens I had a friend who was very devious, always lying. I didn't mean to, but I sometimes got him into trouble, because I couldn't lie about what I knew he had done!

I got encouraged to lie in my 20's, cos 'it is what everyone does'. the pay-off was incredible anxiety. I am back to not lying now.

I can lie to protect someone if I have to. Lying physically hurts me though. I feel like I am 'broken inside' when I lie.

The one pay-off about not lying is that I can tell if someone else is lying. Or at least, when someone is uncomfortable with the words that are coming out of their mouth. usually, this means they are lying, or maybe just 'schmoozing'...! funny the last example I can think of is with my devious teenage friend... I bumped into him, and he said 'yeah, I'll come for a drink with you and Matt', but his discomfort while speaking made it clear he was not interested...

I even answer honestly when someone asks me how I am... I tell them, even though I know you are not supposed to! I am getting better at that recently though. I think, because they are asking, they must want to know, but they actually don't, it's just a greeting...

Morphia, I wish I could not hold a grudge like you... I try not to, but sometimes it keeps coming back, like an OCD thing...

people don't believe me when i lie

even when i know i'm keeping a straight face.

How amusing, that in a thread about lying, the advert at the bottom (the content of which I believe is influenced by the words used on the page) should have a picture of Tony Blair and the words "Do you like Tony Blair" on it

Ah, I have problems with grudges. I can resent people for some reason or other for far too long - I think it usually stems from jealousy. I can reason against it, ie it is pointless, there's no point being jealous either, etc etc - yet it won't go away. But revenge I can't do.

I can't lie very well. I can tell truths which aren't quite applicable - eg 'I didn't sleep until 5am' - it's perfectly true, because I hadn't actually gone to bed til then. I do feel bad doing that, but technically I'm not lying and if it's the lesser of two evils I'll run with it. But I can't tell an outright lie - I tried to cover for someone but it was blatant I was lying, and I apologised for lying anyway. I can't tell when people are lying either.

The only times I lie is in bed (to sleep) and in the bath. And that's the truth. . .or is it?

My most common lie:

"I don't know"


Though given that it is only used in the following situations:

1. I truly don't know
2. I don't know how to express it
3. If I do, I don't know if I should
4. I'm trying to figure out how to express it, but I need additional time (and the other party requires an immedate response)


#4 is probably the most untruthful of the above.


I have trouble recalling any recent situation when I was required to outright lie... but I have done so a few times recently for comic effect (which really isn't what most people think about in regards to lying).

With the amout of trouble that telling the truth has caused, I wish that I did know how to effectively lie. It is not that I am incapable of lying... I just don't know when it is socially expected.

And here I thought "I don't know" was one of the GREAT TRUTHS.

Same here. I don't even mind not being able to lie-- being generally uncommunicative usually gets me out of any tight spots where I would otherwise need to lie (i.e. covering for other people, not divulging private information etc.). But it seriously annoys me that I can't tell when other people are lying to me. Far too many people find this amusing and use it to make jokes at my expense, and then they get upset when I don't believe them when they are *not* joking, because I can't tell the difference.

YES! Then I end up getting upset because I upset them, then annoyed with myself then hating myself ... grr.

Lying is easy. It's not getting caught that's tough.

I am certainly able to lie, I'm just bad at it. That is, I can say 'the sky is green,' I just can't say it in a way that anyone would believe.

Musical_Lottie, Dandelion, I have the same issue. I HATE jokes like that, but I get them played on me all the time. It's contributed quite a bit to my festering trust issues.