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CosmicRuss
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15 Mar 2011, 9:58 am

Yensid wrote:
I just stare past people, mostly. . .
Me too, or if it is immediate family or someone I know well I look at the tip of their nose or concentrate on their mouth. Eye contact is for my cat only, we blink and wink to each other.


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ocdgirl123
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15 Mar 2011, 10:24 am

I mostly look at the mouth and the nose, not so much the eyes. Tone of voice also helps. Seems as eyes are the least important part of emotions for me. No wonder I scored so low on the mind in the eyes test.


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tall-p
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15 Mar 2011, 7:38 pm

I watch mouths more even on TV... but I try and notice the "expression" in people's eyes sometimes. I can see easily that there is a whole language there that I have missed out on. Some folk have amazing eyebrows too that dance and are in constant motion.


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daydreamer84
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15 Mar 2011, 7:43 pm

When I was younger I rarely looked at people at all when they spoke to me...then I was taught to make eye contact but my eye contact was too intense. I read people with AS often do that so then I tried to make eye contact intermittently. Then I read that people make eye contact at specific times when they are experiencing a mutual understanding with the other person or emphasizing a point. Then I became preoccupied with trying to figure out if I was or wasn't emphasizing a point and when to make eye contact......and watching the other persons eyes to see what they did. I also read that people gave messages with their eyes and was trying to discern messages. I couldn’t focus on what the other person was saying. Now I just focus on peoples mouths and look constantly at the person I'm talking to because eye contact is exhausting! :roll:



dunbots
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15 Mar 2011, 7:47 pm

I usually look off to the side, or down or something, because when I try making eye contact, I don't know when to look away, then I stare at them for a long time. >< :P



anbuend
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16 Mar 2011, 12:44 pm

I watch the way their entire bodies move.


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Todesking
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16 Mar 2011, 12:56 pm

Foreheads
Noses
Mouths
But never the eyes


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y-pod
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16 Mar 2011, 7:20 pm

Whatever part of them that's pleasant to look at. Usually the cleavage :D I try to not stare at them too much, but it's very hard to look at anywhere else unless there's no cleavage. :)



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16 Mar 2011, 7:58 pm

I often watch mouths while my eyes dart and dance around a person's eyes so as to not make direct prolonged eye contact. Sometimes if the person is silent though and doing something with their eyes, I WILL watch their eyes for a brief moment. One interesting thing happened to me some time back when I turned my eyes sideways to look at another Aspie to keep from really looking and saw that he was going the exact same thing back to me.

My mom will drive me absolutely crazy at the breakfast table when she turns her chair to face me like she is staring at me while aiming her coffee cup and spoons of food at me very insistently. It makes me want to crawl under the table. One time I started intentionally picking my nose (at the breakfast table no less) to express my displeasure with her behavior, but she was so determined to do this that she did not get the message.



CockneyRebel
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16 Mar 2011, 9:09 pm

I mainly look at mouths when I'm listening to people.


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IceCreamGirl
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16 Mar 2011, 9:23 pm

I watch people's eyes all the time.



ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
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16 Mar 2011, 9:57 pm

I'm not sure what I watch but I don't like looking at people. I honestly don't know if I am looking at them when they talk to me. I do know that I try to watch them when they aren't looking at me and when they glance I look down or at something like my purse and start trying to find my money inside since it's usually at the store when this is happening and I am paying for groceries or clothes or whatnot. That is when I find myself in closest proximity to strangers.
I don't mind looking at family members.



emuman100
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17 Mar 2011, 12:53 am

I always watch people's mouth. I make intermittent, forced eye contact on occasion, but I'm mainly watching their mouth. I think most neurotypicals can't really tell the difference between forced and natural eye contact. I've notice forced eye contact causes the person I'm talking to to be more engaged in the conversation, and more connected to me.



anbuend
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17 Mar 2011, 7:20 am

Oh and I also meant to say, when I said I look at the movement of the body (sometimes out of the corner of my eye) in general... I don't particularly look at eyes or mouths although I can look at either occasionally (but preferably not making eye contact if I look at eyes). I don't like the way mouths look in general. And I'm not comfortable with eye contact (although I was trained to make it several times in my life). So mostly I avoid looking at either. But when I'm looking "through" someone, it might look like I'm looking at either, but I'm not. Apparently I have a weirdly intense-looking stare when my eyes diverge enough to give me double vision, so that I don't really look at the person (from my perspective), but to them it can look like I'm staring right at them sometimes. But mostly, I see movements, and I see those all over the body, and not necessarily while looking directly at anything.


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OJani
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17 Mar 2011, 8:25 am

I have to force myself to make eye contact. It requires additional effort from me. In my family we don't make eye contacts very often. When I intend to behave in situations as NTish as possible, I do this: look in the eye, on the hair (round), one ear or the other, eyebrows, profile, neck, other face features, away for some time, and back to the eye. I do this repeatedly. I don't like mouthes, noses. When I know someone well, and are accustomed to him/her, I can look in the eye more and longer, but not without constant awareness to do it so. Sometimes I do stare on the face of the person I talk to, almost constantly, while I "tune out" the view in my mind. Weird.


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Apple_in_my_Eye
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17 Mar 2011, 9:51 pm

Yensid wrote:
I just stare past people, mostly. The only expressions that I see are in my peripheral vision. Actually looking at a facial feature takes a lot of effort for me, and feels a bit too intimate, like I'm trying to see something that I shouldn't see.

^ Yeah, I tend to end up looking at the wall behind the person, or the ceiling. (Ought to try looking at the mouth as I do tend to have some speed problems with processing speech.)

Though, I've noticed that if I force myself to look at someone's face I can't actually "see" the whole thing at once. It's one eye and a nose, or the other eye and a mouth; they don't seem connected into a coherent whole, sort of.

But none the less it still feels invasive; like a stranger sticking their hand under my shirt or something. Ugh.