Just Don't Stop Stop

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I absolutely hate touch as well, although I don't mind a hug from my mum after I've had a bad day . I sometimes wish I had the ability to electricute people who touch me, or to have an invisible barrier that they bang into .

lol.

I want either or ability myself.

I can handle hugs, but I have trouble with touch still.

I absolutely hated hugs for years, though. I am still not fond of them, but I am okay with people I like.

What I hate more is the poking. I hate poking. It hurts. Like someone is jabbing me.

Yes this pisses me off. How hard is it to understand when someone is trying to escape or pull away, they don't want to be touched? Are they really that clueless?

As a child I would try and pull away and would wait till they were done. Sometimes I think I should have just pinched them so they would get the hint but I was too nice then to even do it. I still can't pinch people to get them off but everyone asks first before they give me a hug.

Hi.
Can't help you with the random poking... this is mostly a problem for me when people sneak up behind and jab me in the sides. I do get snappy about this.

I agree that snappiness is not appropriate for family hugs, as the family members feel rejected.

I do have a different idea for family hugs:

Hug them first.

Yep, get in first.

The social principle of this is that the person who initiates the hug (or handshake, or whatever) gets to determine the type and duration of the hug (or handshake, or whatever). This is very useful, as it means you get to choose the frequency, type (maybe sideways hug?) and duration (short) of the contact.

Initiating the hug has another advantage... people will tend to hug you less. This is because NT people often assume that: if a person is not distributing hugs, it is because they don't feel ok, therefore they need to be given more hugs.

If you distribute hugs, the other people think you feel ok, and don't need more hugs.

Hope that makes sense. Does to me.

I've noticed that people don't hug me. Even family members wouldn't hug me when I was a little kid. My mother is impulsive and will do it anyway, although my high pitched wail stops her in her tracks.
Anyway I usually stand still and stiff and look around like I'm lost. That is my antidote for this hugging virus.

Apparently I was a content baby as long as people kept their distance. Unfortunately, many grown ups couldn't resist touching my cheeks because I used to have fiery red rosy cheeks. People would stand and stare while I napped! I would recoil in horror and scream if people came to touch me. Why can't they understand that I just wished to be left alone? Because I rejected their affection, I was thought of as a snob!

Today, I still can't hug people I don't know very well - and that's most people! At church, I struggle because I find it very hard to shake people's hands. I won't even go on my own if M is busy because I feel so uncomfortable shaking people's hands without his 'encouragement'.

I don't even say I love you regularly on a daily basis.

I use to sideways hug. But my parents felt I was being "Antisocial"

But it hurts me. They always tell me not be a baby about things, but hugs hurt me. I don't know why people can't understand they're crushing my ribcage and I'd like to keep my ribs in check.