Anxiety attacks

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Anandamide, this might be very helpful cuz i'm noticing how i'm always fighting the anxiety very consciously, and this focusing on it is just making it worse all the time. When you Let Go, did you do anything to distract you, or how did this happen? Or did you just will every fiber in your body to stop resisting and relax at once?

I will try to describe what happened in the moment that I let go and relaxed.

I used to get this sensation that my head was growing. It sounds ridiculous to me now, but this is a common symptom of anxiety. At times I would also feel sure that I was about to collapse, or have a heart attack, or run into the road, or otherwise become suddenly ill or go crazy. These were just symptoms of anxiety, but at the time these feelings were very real to me.

One day I was out in public and felt as though my head was growing. And as always I felt detached and alienated from my surroundings. I had been tested and assessed by the doctor for all sorts of things, from mental illness to brain damage. Nothing showed up on any tests. I had been told that I had an acute stress reaction, but no one ever explained to me what that was, or how it effected my body. No one ever told me how to relax. And as I say, it took a long period of suffering and then one moment of realization for me to get better.

So there I was out in public and afraid that my head was growing bigger. All of a sudden I became aware of being sick and tired of being so freaked out all the time. I somehow made a decision that if my head was going to grow, so be it. If I was going to fall down and collapse, so be it. If I was going to lose control of my senses and run into the middle of the road, so be it. And as soon as I stopped fighting the sensations going on in my own body I then escaped that fight or flight loop that I was stuck inside. I was able to relax because I was no longer fighting and I gave up and surrendered to whatever crazy sensations I was feeling at the time. I just said okay I give up, whatever will be will be, and that did the trick.

I became willing to accept whatever might have happened when I let go and that stopped the physiological fight or flight loop that is the basis of all anxiety disorders.

I sometimes get anxious that something is going to catch on fire in teh house when we leave a game console on for awhile or when the TV is on for awhile sometimes. I don't know why I get so scared of it sometimes. I've also woken up on occasion very nervous that the TV was on in my brother's room or downstairs, so I even check downstairs and in my brother's room and I turn off lights, but then I still have an anxious feeling. It's quite weird. I do get anxious and can't sleep when there's a spider on my wall in my room, but I think a lot of people would experience that sort of anxiety! (lol)