I don't fit in here

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I'm not saying that it's all wails of self pity and anguish, just that it does exist here, and you don't have to look too hard to find it.

+1

There are many here who feel similar. You're in the right place!

Thanks very much everyone! I really appreciate all your words.

i feel alienated from the people here who hold jobs, go to school, have friends, or can even walk up to somebody and have a verbal conversation but it's not like they are extremely different from me I should think. It's just a matter of subtly different skills, I think.

I think you fit in more than you think. I just turned 27, and I still don't have a relationship or even friends for that matter. Most of the time I am all alone, unless I happen to be with a family member. I work about 10 hours a week, and could not do more than that. I am also a university student, but it took me years to go back to school. I also have no life there, no friends, nothing but studying. Trust me, you're not alone.

Oh? Why not?



I don't have and never have had a job.



I've never had a relationship, Simonono. Not once, not ever. And I'm five years older than you.



You have many, many years ahead of you to do just that. Don't just jump at the first bit of skirt that comes along though - the first couple of women are often incompatible, or disordered, or unattractive (to you), or suffering from their own issues.



I've never really belonged anywhere. I've always, always felt on the outside. It's just how life is. I feel integrated with my family and briefly in social situations in which I feel comfortable, but otherwise I don't. It's a very common reaction to having an Asperger's-type mind.

Don't worry about it and it'll get better with time.

But then that's a girlfriend-less 22 stone man telling you this so take it with far more salt than the Food Standards Agency or the NHS would ever allow.

Last edited by Tequila on 12 Apr 2011, 4:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I feel like I do and don't fit in here. Some of the issues I have are very different than most people (but only most), from the polls I've done which showed people being more different from me than I expected. And yet usually this is a place where I can be myself without being treated badly for it, and that means a lot to me.

I'm still very new to the site and can't decide whether I do or don't fit in. I've started a few threads and haven't exactly gotten a ton of replies. Part of me is thinking that what I'm saying isn't really resonating with others here while part of me is thinking that perhaps everyone is thinking "Now that dude has issues." What I do know is that I like what I'm reading and feel your issues resonate with me ... for what that's worth.

Anyway, I think that anyone who starts a thread and gets a couple of pages worth of replies fits in just fine.

I quited worrying about 'fitting in" after I've accepted the fact that I will never fit in anywhere.

wherever you are, and wherever you go, spend time like you're drinking fine wine- gobble down every bid that you can, 'till they kick you out.

I am 26 and I never feel like fitting in anywhere not even among aspies either. I know how you feel and there´s nothing I want more than to see a significant improvement in my life but I just strongly doubt it will ever happen.

I would sorely miss your presence. Your post have a unique ability to make me stop and think.

Possibly one of the worst things about being an Aspie you never really know you are welcome. Being unable to interpret the social cues all you have to go on is someone's word that you are welcome, and you never really know if they are telling you the truth or just being polite while in the meantime sending you all sorts of non-verbal clues that you are making them uncomfortable with your continued presence and no doubt getting more frustrated by the minute that you are still hanging around.

It gets better. I promise you... experience and thirst to improve yourself will serve you well and it will get better. Just remember to be forgiving and patient with yourself. Everyone needs to do that no matter their age.

You fit in here better than you realize. Unfortunately, you are in a community of people that is notoriously bad at reaching out and connecting with people. There is a 'golden rule' in advertising - for every 1 person who speaks up, there are another 10 that agree with them but never say a word. I think its safe to say that applies here too. There are probably 100 people who have read this and related 100% but just didn't know how to respond.

Just keep talking! People are listening. You never know when you might draw someone out who feels the exact same way.

I don't fit in here either. For one I don't have AS and I've got some issues that I need to let go of.
Being 25 and having little experience on a resume and still having poor communication skills makes it hard to make anything out of yourself. It could also be the whole ADHD issue with not wanting to put in the work to reach a long term goal cause we ain't wired for it. We want it all now now now!
When people tell me that I just need to push myself I get on the defensive. For one on one can feel what happens to my brain when slight change happens, let alone such dramatic change. We're talking massive meltdowns and shutdowns here.

Anyway, I still come here because I can relate a little compared to most people out there in the world.

The first thing I noticed about the original poster is that they're 17................so you don't have a girlfriend yet? You don't have a successful career? You don't feel intelligent enough? This stuff takes TIME. I'm 26 and I still have attended college, my "career" as a nursing assistant is anything but successful (other than being paid), and I didn't have a girlfriend until I was 23.

Relax man.

Well I think good on them I wish them the best of luck just don't go flaunting your intellectual elitism in my face you where born to good stock, and probably got the help that you needed when you where younger .

If you do I will tear you to shreds (thankfully the tall poppy syndrome still exists in this country) I think it's what keeps us (Aussies ) more grounded , which was confirmed by an American academic who's name I can't recall on last nights Insight program (a chat show) the topic of the day was "narcissism"

Sadly the poppy in the 21 st century is shrivelled and weak and almost dead , one of the reasons Aussies are looking more and more like Americans ! (except not quite as fat and loud)

W was right when he said Australia reminds him of Texas. I take that as an insult!