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How do you feel day to day?

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manlyadam
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20 Apr 2011, 10:43 pm

I stand in the night and reach out at each one with both arms



anbuend
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21 Apr 2011, 5:58 am

Mostly okay.


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Verdandi
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21 Apr 2011, 12:20 pm

KBerg wrote:
Mostly tired. Cynical too, and fed up with people BSing, making promises they don't intend to or can't keep. Mostly though, tired. There's this wonderful phrase from the Fellowship of the Ring where Bilbo Baggins describes it: "I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread." that I think explains it in a wonderfully picturesque way. The idea of being relaxed and energetic enough not to feel like that when awake is almost weird in a sense... except...


When I heard that line, it resonated so much, but I couldn't explain why. Like I was constantly borrowing spoons to function.

That was around the time I ran out of spoon credit.

For that matter, spoon theory resonated a lot with me, but I couldn't explain why "since I wasn't disabled."

Anyway, now that I have a better understanding these days I am mostly doing okay. I have some bad days, some good.



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21 Apr 2011, 1:00 pm

A strange mix of peaceful and depressed.

Right now, good things are happening to me. I've left my old job (which I hated), was admitted into an internship in the biggest bank in my country and there's a good chance that I will get an even better job next week.

On the other hand, no matter how good things are, I can't stop myself from thinking about negative possibilities. Got a new job? Great, but I'll probably do something stupid and get fired. Girlfriend? Just a matter of time until my weirdness sets us apart. I've become the President of the New World Order? I'll probably be remembered as the worst president in the world's History. :P There's always a negative outcome bothering me.



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21 Apr 2011, 1:06 pm

Verdandi wrote:
KBerg wrote:
Mostly tired. Cynical too, and fed up with people BSing, making promises they don't intend to or can't keep. Mostly though, tired. There's this wonderful phrase from the Fellowship of the Ring where Bilbo Baggins describes it: "I feel... thin. Sort of stretched, like... butter scraped over too much bread." that I think explains it in a wonderfully picturesque way. The idea of being relaxed and energetic enough not to feel like that when awake is almost weird in a sense... except...


When I heard that line, it resonated so much, but I couldn't explain why. Like I was constantly borrowing spoons to function.

That was around the time I ran out of spoon credit.

For that matter, spoon theory resonated a lot with me, but I couldn't explain why "since I wasn't disabled."

Anyway, now that I have a better understanding these days I am mostly doing okay. I have some bad days, some good.


Thank you for posting that link, I really enjoyed reading it and it's a wonderful way to explain how folks like us need to spend a spoon everytime we socialise, and we shutdown when they all go.


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anneurysm
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21 Apr 2011, 6:26 pm

I am usually anxious and on edge, especially in the morning. Coffee actually takes the anxiety off, despite being a stimulant. Daily medication (for my anxiety) and meditation to refocus myself work as well. When both of these things have done their jobs, I usually feel okay.


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Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.

This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term therapists - that I am an anxious and highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder.

My diagnoses - social anxiety disorder and obsessive-compulsive disorder.

I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.