Unable to get a girlfriend
Why would someone kill themselves over lacking a girlfriend? There are so many more aspects to autism that cause a lot more trouble than that, and most people even with those problems aren't killing ourselves. It just seems like there has to be something more to it than just wanting to date or marry someone.
_________________
"In my world it's a place of patterns and feel. In my world it's a haven for what is real. It's my world, nobody can steal it, but people like me, we live in the shadows." -Donna Williams
Phonic
Veteran
Joined: 3 Apr 2011
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,329
Location: The graveyard of discarded toy soldiers.
I agree, I'm still a pretty young guy (see right), It's not that I've never had a GF ( I haven't), I have yet to actually be in love or even have a crush.
but some people have a much greater need for companionship then others, to the extant that not being in any relationship is unbareable.
_________________
'not only has he hacked his intellect away from his feelings, but he has smashed his feelings and his capacity for judgment into smithereens'.
Although I have'nt got a job I live on my own, drive a car and got independance. I used to be a civil servant. The government cuts and loss of my job have possibly stoped me from getting a girlfriend and have contributed to my depression. It is impossible to get a high flying job like what girls expect because it would mean going to university for 3 years and acquiring huge depts. The only other option is to start up some sort of business. Easier said than done. It would be nice to become an author. Even if my work was up to the professional standard of an author getting noticed is the hard bit. Despite me being 6ft 4" tall it is amazing that especially in my younger days how I was not noticed by women. I won't mind meeting a career woman in the age range I mentioned. I would become a house husband. For most of you out there i've have had 3 jobs in my life and have worked very hard in the past. Some of you have'nt had the chance to work which is not your fault. The job I worked for in the civil service, you would probably need a degree to get in now.
As for killing myself, I was very depressed yesterday. That is what depression does to you. With aspergers getting a girlfriend has become an obsession that I can't shift. I wish there was some sort of drug that can stop these feelings so I don't care about it. When my parents are gone I will have no one apart from my sister and I don't what to put her through my misery and pull her down to my level.
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
This is so true! If I were a younger woman who had gotten attracted to an older guy, I would hope that he could provide for me and any subsequent children. Also, if you prefer younger women, how will you relate to them? Sometimes mere conversation can be a challenge between two generations.
_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner
hartzofspace
Supporting Member
Joined: 14 Apr 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,138
Location: On the Road Less Traveled
I would say work on your depression before thinking about dating. There is nothing attractive about depression. When I was severely depressed, I couldn't find anyone to date either. People tend to shy away from someone that they perceive as being high maintenance. If you volunteer somewhere, doing something that you like, you will be thinking of others and not so into your own problems. This alone will make you more approachable. If you like animals, volunteer at a pet rescue place. Or if you like books, volunteer at the library. The idea is not to volunteer hoping to meet someone, but to occupy your mind in a positive way. This has positive repercussions somewhere down the line.
_________________
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born.
-- Dr. Dale Turner
I think that setting yourself such specific standards is going to hamper your search, not because you shouldn't have standards, nor do I think you should settle for someone unsuitable, but because when you meet the right person all of those rules you set for yourself will become irrelevant. You might meet a woman your age who makes you happy and you will wonder why you cared so much about age in the first place.
You are right that I might meet a woman my age but I highly doubt it. To be fair age shouldn't come in to it. What the determining factors should be are personality and attraction. The majority of woman i've come across on dating sites are overweight, have children, smoke and look much older than there years and thats for some as young as thirty. I know that there are some nice older woman out there but they're all taken. I would'nt turn down one on the basis of age if I really liked her. There are alot of woman in the late twenties or early thirties who have been at university and working on their career who then decide to settle down. It is one of them I would'nt mind meeting. I have been looking after myself by exercising and eating sensibily. Most people seem to be suprised when they hear my age. I need to meet someone and not tell them my age until a relationship has built. I would like to point out that I don't think women over 40 are washed up. fuddy or useless. They sometimes get rid of female presenters on tv who are in the 40s or 50s and replace with someone much younger which is very unfair.
Similar Topics | |
---|---|
Advice regarding girlfriend |
30 Oct 2024, 8:33 am |
My brother attracted to his mates girlfriend |
04 Oct 2024, 7:13 pm |