This makes me an awful person, and I'm trying to analyze why

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Very good points there. I have nothing to add except I don't see why are happy about his death when it was pretty much a martyr death. If it was autoerotic asphyxiation, I'd get it. Well, not that it would invalidate his accomplishments, at least not in my eyes, but it would certainly not make him a martyr.

How did I misunderstand?

Are you capable of discussing this without the judgements and name calling and actually listening to what I have to say?

Of course. I really do want to understand and if I misunderstood, I figure you ought to have the opportunity to clarify.

Okay then... I'm gonna hold you to that...

In response to your first question;

Are you suggesting that because Tim Hetherington had some advantages (connections, looks, talent etc) that it was fair that he died?

No, that is not what I am suggesting at all. I was trying to frame my response to the OP's post from his perspective. He was feeling bad for having these negative thoughts. I was suggesting the reasons that people, in general, may also share his negative thoughts. I was not passing judgement or making commentary on the filmmaker in any way shape or form.

My apologies for using a broad generalization. This is a habit of mine that I realize is extremely inflammitory here. and since this is a new revelation for me, I am trying - still unsuccessfully - to reframe my thoughts into something without them. I'm finding that challenge to be extremely daunting to the point where I can't even form an opinion without doing it. My thought process is all about context... while I can focus like a laser on the details, I can also see a broad picture so vast that I routinely lose people as I switch from one to the other or just simply start so far out there that people can't see the connection. So - I have communication difficulties. Enough said on that.

I used the word seemingly quite deliberately. It was to imply a falsehood. Something that looks one way on the surface but may not be what it appears. To see that you interpreted that as SEEMS is telling. That small change of the word also changed its meaning. If I had used SEEMS it would have implied some sort of opinion of the man in question personally. This was not intended. This is why I asked at the end of the post what the OP thought of the filmmakers talent. I find it interesting that he did not voice his opinion of it in the original post. I am thinking that he actually found this filmmaker quite talented, therefore adding a possible layer of jealousy to these negative feelings he's experiencing. I could be wrong though - that's why I asked first.

I was simply pointing out that human nature is not always rosy, or pretty or correct. But it is innately human. As is the OP... and a more fully evolved human at that for questioning himself so honestly. It took quite a bit of courage to post this. I admire it.

In closing this rant - I DO NOT think ANYONE deserves death. Anyone. And certainly not a filmmaker for simply doing what he does best or for the possiblity that he may or may not have had an easy time of his career. Everyone is dealt a different hand in life - perhaps he just pulled a royal flush. I do not know anything about this filmmaker or his circumstances in life and it was not my intent to imply that I did. Again - the text you took so much offense to was taken out of the context I intended it in.

Can I have my maturity back now?

It's all good - thanks for the chance to clear it up.

I feel like the only person on here or in the internet world in general who doesn't give two s**t's about the whole mess going on in the Middle East dating back to the Egypt protests earlier this year. I'm just like "huh? What gives?"