What kind of hell is this?

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It's frustrating because unlike most problems in life, this will continue until I'm about 50 and have no sex drive. No matter how logical you think things out, your body takes over your mind. I'm sure people can see that by my posts at times. It's like it's a different person speaking depending on my sex drive at the time.

All I know is that under the sex drive is a good person, flawed, sure, but a well-intentioned person who has a moral compass.

It does sound like an OCD thing. I enjoyed my obsession when I had it, my only problem was finding a willing partner, which I managed to do eventually...mostly because I had a bit of a unique talent in the area of my fetish and it drew a lot of attention from males on the fetish boards. However with OCD the obsessions tend to be unpleasant or unwanted (ie you don't enjoy them). I had an episode of OCD a few years ago and it was a nightmare as the obsessions and compulsions were intrusive and not enjoyable at all! I kicked it to the curb using CBT techniques etc and it's never come back again.

Before I started dating, I'd obsess this much (like a lot of the completely inexperienced posters in love and dating) about wanting a girlfriend...romantic fantasies and the like...and those all ended after they were replaced by reality (both the good and bad parts of dating.) I did masturbate, but rarely thought about sex or sexual things. Since then and after getting "that close" to intercourse and experiencing everything foreplay has to offer, the sexual obsession and fantasies have got more intense.

I'm wondering if I'm just so curious about sex, and have all of these fantasies in my head, that they need to be replaced by reality...and I'd be interested in hearing what the male non-virgins think?

I don't delude myself into thinking I'll have some sex and never want it again or never think about women sexually again...but I'm wondering if this something "extra" is just needing real life experience.

I think there are three things taking place:

1.)I'm at an age anyway where my body wants to reproduce and have kids. I only started having the sexual dreams the past year or so.

2.)There is a problem with the way my brain processes thoughts...a combination of OCD (that or obsessive thinking patterns), mania (I have a form of bi-polar or so doctors say), and the Aspergers is creating some kind of internal hell. (Side question: is this what special interests are like, only more interesting and enjoyable?")

3.)Having answered all of my "questions" about dating, love, etc., and having dated a couple women my type, even if just short-term, and having experienced everything foreplay has to offer, my mind is obsessing over the idea of sex...couple that with the media preaching nothing but sex...guys literally and figuratively killing each other for sex, breaking moral codes just for some action...a sex-crazed society with axe commercials and the like...and it builds a curiosity.

So what's the solution? One you can't do anything about. Just have to ride it out. Two...have to find the right cocktail of meds to make things more bearable (which I plan to do with my doctor.) Three...easier said than done, but I have to get laid. I'd pay if I thought that were the solution, but somehow I think having sex with a smoking hot woman would either make me even hornier or make me depressed (since there would be no real emotions on her part.)

What's frustrating is my standards are pretty realistic and I'm not looking for a girl any more attractive than the two I've already dated. In some cases the women I notice aren't even as attractive as them.

Its all in the breeding, some people are love rats usually like their parents

male non-virgin ( non Aspergers) point of view:
First, did you say I am going to loose my sex drive at 50? Oh No I am getting close! ( hehe)
I don't think what your describing is all that uncommon as you might think on One hand, but since it bothers you, you probably are obsessing. However so many Men do obsess over sex between puberty and lets just say around 30, even later.

( I offer a "proof" of this: Look how many web sites there are devoted to "sex")

Since it does bother you CBT, or other therapies might be a good solution , personally medication would Not Be _My_ first choice.
Have you tried to divert the obsesive parts of these problems into another direction?
Diving in as it were into something, complex and diverting and enjoyable to you?
Might help... and take a step back away from things and let yourself calm down a bit while also accepting that your sex drive may be strong and also understanding that your not alone in that, many many Men have strong sexual urges not unlike what your describing.
The Issue seems to be your overly obsessing on it.
This is gona sound lame and cliche... but have you tried some hobbies?
And I am serious
( ohh yes, editing here... go get laid and pay for it with someone who doesn't care about you or anyone... ick..nah that wont help, It is way to special .. or can be... to seek your solution that way, "hot" is very relative, and you might find "hotest" with someone who cares about you and loves you .)
Just My thoughts, hope they might help.

I'm THIS close to taking my own life if my mind doesn't stop. I don't even want a girlfriend (not that all women are bad, don't mistake me) but my point is my mind and body just concern itself with women because of their bodies. I literally don't have one second where my mind isn't thinking about it.

Having sex would probably just make it worse because my body would have a taste of it and want more.

But what's the point in living when your mind has no break, ever?

Sounds like sex addiction to me. I'm 47, self-diagnosed Aspie, and officially diagnosed sex addict. You may want to do some googling on "sex addiction", and/or go to a library and check out books by Patrick Carnes (pretty much THE expert on this). There are online "tests" that might help you determine if this is your issue (e.g. at Sexaholics Anonymous' website, "Twenty Questions", or at Patrick Carnes' website).

I figure you could address this in one of two ways.

The "responsible" way ("Rule #1: Be good") would be to find a therapist who works with sex addiction (google, there are tons), consider more intense therapy (e.g. I went to an inpatient addiction rehabilitation clinic for a 6-week program back in 2003), and join a 12-step group like Sexaholics Anonymous or Sex Addicts Anonymous. All of those can help you find ways to deal with the desire to obsess, fantasize, whatever.

The way that some might consider "less responsible" or "more immoral" ("Rule #2: If you're not going to be good, be careful") would be to seek "friends with benefits" with whom you could have sexual liaisons with potentially fewer emotional "complications" than "regular" dating/courtship/marriage would include. The Internet makes this much easier, esp. if you live in or near a large metropolitan area.

Another thought: On the one hand, actually having sex more often might, by taking away the "mystique", help reduce your obsession. On the other hand, if it truly qualifies as a sex addiction, then you would indeed likely just want more and more and more.

PM me if you want more details of my experience. And if you choose "Rule #2", do indeed be very careful (STI's, unwanted pregnancy, possible exploitation, etc.).

This is definitely more than just hormones. I masturbated earlier today, yet am having a migraine over women and sex. It doesn't even feel "good" to think about women. My doctor is putting me on a new medicine for obsessive thoughts...but let's say it even works...the idea that I have to depend on a pill to stop thinking about women 99 percent of my day isn't a comforting thought.

I get this in cycles and it sucks, hard ('Paxil kills your sex drive' my ass!).
I thought if I wrote out my ultimate fantasy as a novel it would let off some steam, but truth be told, I think it made things worse.;-p
It does help to know that I'm not the only one, and generally if I can find a new project to be obsessed about, I can get out of it for a while.

Well I've been on anaphranil for the last week (an OCD pill) and hasn't got rid of the obsession whatsoever but I have felt better...less bitter/angry/clearer thinking.

It seems to have only made me more horny though...if anything...with the clearer mind...feeling the need to masturbate even more.

But I suppose being a little more horny is better than being horny/confused/mad/angry/bitter/frustrated and the like.