My mum thinks I'm a waster...

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This is the best advice in my opinion.

THIS is exactly why I made it a point in my life to NEVER depend on anyone to feed and house me once I was able to work... I even joined the military to get out of the situation I was in after I graduated primary school and have been running non-stop since that time from anyone being allowed to control me. If you depend on another person for shelter and food, you sort of need to follow their standards to the extent that you can and you need to pitch into the household to the extent that you can. If you cannot work, perhaps you can qualify for benefits or some sort of thing so that you are contributing financially to the overall picture?

The problem is that the waiting list for social housing in the UK is ridiculously long. I've heard figures like 5-10 years for a single man and private landlords are very fussy about DSS. To be fair, it's extremely hard to get into work from nothing becuase the pressure builds and employers don't like gaps on CVs. I think the failsafe route is via a few months voluntary work, which is how I started

You got the exact right idea!! I had to do some pretty low stuff to get "marketable". I worked for people I did not like and worked in some jobs that we really tough. I have more than 20 years experience in my current job which is why it is so ideal for me. It doesn't ever start like that though. Not for NTs or for us. Well at least not always. Volunteer type work is one of the best ways to demonstrate that you are willing and trying to improve yourself. This doesn't have to be in the form of working in crappy conditions either. You can volunteer as a Big Brother (or mentor kids), you can volunteer articles to non-profit organizations or research work, etc... etc... Look at your special interest and give that "gift" to others somehow.

Not everybody has that kind of drive and tenacity, and it is not something that someone can simply will him or herself to have. Though it may sound defeatist, it's not always an option to just pick oneself up by one's bootstraps. That is why there are so many here who talk about feeling hopeless. Nothing and no one is a hopeless case, but, perhaps because of executive dysfunction, it's not always possible to mine success out of failure. It may be that the OP needs to take very small steps to avoid becoming overwhelmed.

Another point is that the state here often discourages autistics bettering themselves.

?? 'splain please...

Yup, one of the problems if you are on benefits, is the amount of voluntary work you can do is restricted. Apart from anything else, the minute you start doing it, you have to inform the Government/DWP, which can trigger a reassessment of your benefit entitlement. I've heard of people doing 1 day a week voluntary work being moved off Incapacity Benefit onto Jobseekers Allowance, which is much less money, could affect other benefits, and has even stricter requirements around voluntary work.

Personally, I am too scared to try voluntary work.

I am going to a care farm though. The government pays my transport and the fees through direct payments, and I go 2 days a week. I don't need to inform the DWP as it's occupational therapy. Its basically a combination of horticultural therapy, with proper farm work. My mental health team arranged it for me.

I can understand where you are coming from Tequila. Its a hard situation.

And if you do have voluntary work, it's usually the state wanting people to fulfil its social programmes for free. It's not usually about you at all.

Voluntary work is now largely monopolised and controlled by the state here in Britain.

I guess you just have to be strong and deal with it. The world is not a easy place, trust me, even for people without AS. your mom and everyone around you are just players like you are. You only get things that you want by achieving some other things. It totally has nothing to do with fairness.
I guess my advice would be: don't feel sorry for yourself.

So really?? The state actually controls if you submit articles to websites that are non-profit in the US or other countries? The state actually controls if you visit old people's homes to play an instrument for them or some other talent or just to talk/listen? The state actually controls if you are a mentor to a child or if you design a website for someone???

There are a MILLION and 1 ways to GIVE to this world. I am having a really hard time with the concept of the "state" preventing all of this...

It does here in Britain. I'm not sure you understand quite how much the state does control things here, or the amount of bureaucracy. It's not like other countries where it's free-flowing.

I did help out at the library, but the software they used actually made it more difficult for me to teach them and it became very frustrating for me having to tell the students time and time again something that should easily have been sorted within the software. There's no localism or consultation - most things are top-down.

Now, that's life to an extent and perhaps I am a selfish individual but I do what I can. I make sure my neighbours are well-looked after for instance, and if they need anything technical doing they always come to me.

I've helped out with a political party and plan to help them again come the next Euro elections.

Wow. Never ever heard that before of your country. But it sounds like you are doing some things already. Just keep that sort of thing up to the extent that you can and think of ways to expand that. THAT is what will help you in this situation IMHO more than anything. Good luck with it!

For helping out in the library, it took them about six months from asking me to actually doing it. It took a few months even for my criminal check to be assessed and come back OK.

Even if you're volunteering in a public library, you need an enhanced criminal check (which can include gossip and innuendo, not just convictions). Even if all the people in the library have known you since you were born.

The other week it took an hour's wait to have a three minute blood test at my local clinic.

I understand that I am not a special case, but it's just the way things are here.

One of the requirements for Jobseeker's Allowance (the benefit that unemployed people are entitled to) is that you are "available for work" for a certain number of hours a week, if you engage yourself in a voluntary work placement that involves committing yourself to more than a certain number of hours work, then you are not available for full time work because you are not available for those hours. Unfortunately, the system is administered by dunces who can't distinguish between actually doing some work when no-one wanted you for paid work, and making yourself unavailable for work by committing to a number of hours that precludes it.

One of the problems is that these idiots can stop your benefits, and even if they are in the wrong, you have to go to the hassle of sorting it out and have no money for food until it is sorted out, which may not be an option,

That is really a lot of the problem - the system is corrupt, far too bureaucratic and is staffed by incompetents and malicious people more intent on hanging onto their jobs/empires/largesse than serving the public.