Can you "feel" an emotional connection w/ someone?

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Jonsi
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28 Apr 2011, 9:47 pm

I feel connections with people almost too intensely.



Mindslave
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28 Apr 2011, 10:49 pm

swbluto wrote:
This is something I've noticed in my life and I was wondering if this is a common observation for aspies. There are people who are "empathic", and there's something about their voice, their facial expressions or their responses that indicate they "completely understand" you and there's a certain invisible emotional connection that you can "feel" -- I don't really know how to describe it, you just kind of "know it". Some people have this 'empathic gift', and many people don't and it's certainly a gift that I'd feel extremely lucky to have but I don't really think I "have what it takes".

Has anyone else noticed this? There's a group of people in this world who are naturally empathic and you can "feel the connection"?


I always just "get it" but I couldn't always. In fact, I used to be horrible at knowing.



Fnord
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28 Apr 2011, 11:40 pm

Dinosaw wrote:
... The brain and body are EMF transmitter-receivers and we only need to train our bodies to be able to pick up other 'radio' stations.

Evidence, please?
Dinosaw wrote:
Is there a chance that mirror neuron activity is engaging as one observes or is informed of the mind state of another?

No. The human body's electromagnetic field can not be detected beyond a distance of about 75 millimeters.[/quote]
Dinosaw wrote:
Empathic cues read consciously or subliminally providing a framework for constructing a mimicked emotional / hormonal status?

Yes.
Dinosaw wrote:
Certainly possible but it doesn't mean the sensation has to stop there.

It's all about brain chemistry. Without endorphins and melatonin/serotonin, you would never feel euphoria. Without hormones and pheromones, you would never feel motivation. All that would be left would be indifference, even for one's self.

There is no evidence for any 'psychic' communication, and believing in any 'psychic' ability will not make it real, either.


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MathGirl
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29 Apr 2011, 12:11 am

No, I don't. I could never figure out whether it was due to ASD or due to something else, like the trauma I went through as a kid due to bullying at school. But I can't remember having an emotional attachment to my parents, either. I just wanted to be left alone; people were anxiety-provoking and were an intrusion of my world. They still are, to an extent. I only let some people into it, those that fit in nicely instead of intruding it.


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Last edited by MathGirl on 29 Apr 2011, 12:16 am, edited 1 time in total.

MrMagpie
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29 Apr 2011, 12:15 am

I have come to realize through conversations with close friends that I am an empathic black hole. I can feel sympathy for people, but not empathy. My own emotions are also very shallow. I can feel fondness for people that I would call 'love', irritation I would call 'anger', boredom and/or frustration I would call 'depression', etc. I have never had a feeling of closeness or connection with anyone I know, and it was actually this inability of mine to form intimate relationships that caused me to go to therapy in the first place, where I was diagnosed with Asperger's. In general, people are either a source of amusement, information, or annoyance.



Last edited by MrMagpie on 29 Apr 2011, 12:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Ai_Ling
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29 Apr 2011, 12:16 am

I kinda know what your talking about. Its very hard for me to feel an emotional connection with people. For me its an unhealthy fueled thru an obsession often. Many of my friendships lack this connection. Like I will be friends with them but I lack this sense of attachment where I can take comfort in them and just enjoy their company. A lot of my friendships, Im struggling to connect with them. With no connection, once we run outta things to talk about, we get bored of each other. Often, the friendship attempts to be pushed too far where we just hang around each other with no connection.

I have an aspie friend who when I talk to, its really hard to connect with him. Then I wonder about myself and how my NT friends percieve me. They find me very hard to make a connection with. I wouldnt be surprised.

For me, its not impossible to connect with people, I have a few friends I do have a connection with but there very few and they dont come around very often.



quaker
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29 Apr 2011, 1:35 am

i know many people in the spectrum
who I would say are strongly
sensing, some would call themselves
'heart savants'......however, what seems
universal is the enormous difficulity
in communicating the genuienly held
feeling.

Many in the spectrum have what is called
emotional regulation difficulties, which
can result in emotional contagion.

I dont think one can get ones head around
emotions, its a matter of getting your
heart around them.



izzeme
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29 Apr 2011, 2:43 am

i 'feel' (pun intended) this too.
i almost instantly know if someone i knew already is feeling down or overly happy, before others around do, but i often fail to show i know, making me the awkward guy again...
also, if i meet someone for the first time, i almost always know if that someone is going to be a friend, enemy or neutral, just from the 'vibe' i get off them; it's correct 99.5% of the time, and this is one that my housemates have started to trust in when accepting new roomies.



Dinosaw
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29 Apr 2011, 3:40 am

Fnord wrote:
There is no evidence for any 'psychic' communication, and believing in any 'psychic' ability will not make it real, either.


I'd like proof that you really don't believe.

Fnord!


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Last edited by Dinosaw on 29 Apr 2011, 8:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

peterd
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29 Apr 2011, 5:56 am

Emotions do leak between people, I'm convinced of it. The problem aspies have, IMHO, is not in receiving leaked emotions, but in reflecting them onwards.

Yes, I know, there are those among us who don't recognise other people well enough to pick up demonstrated emotion in the first place. That can be cured by training.



MichaelDWhite
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29 Apr 2011, 6:05 am

I usually get a good feeling when a conversation gets going and I feel I understand the other person and am being understood. However, I'm really not that conscious of the feelings of the other person. I agree with izzeme that there's a "vibe" I get from other people that lets me know if they are safe to talk to and I can have productive conversations with them, but it's more about reading external traits and behaviors than guessing the feelings of the other person.



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29 Apr 2011, 6:24 am

I can feel other people's emotions, but I don't know that this is a connection. If I don't understand what drives the emotion, after all, and it feels overwhelming and invasive, how can that be a connection?

I can work it out intellectually sometimes, but can this be a real connection?



Fnord
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30 Apr 2011, 5:35 pm

Dinosaw wrote:
...I'd like proof that you really don't believe.

I'm still waiting for valid and verifiable proof that psychic abilities exist ... and I've been waiting for at least 50 years.

It is therefore safe to assume that: (1) there is no proof, because (2) there are no psychic abilities.


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30 Apr 2011, 6:43 pm

I'm not really willing or capable of love, so I, too, feel only detachment. I don't like to talk about emotions or express emotions other than happiness or anger because I don't like people to know what I'm feeling because then they could possibly use that against me or criticize me. Plus, it saves me the trouble of having to deal with them.
I'm not really a people person.


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30 Apr 2011, 8:20 pm

I can understand human emotions. I can understand when someone is feeling sad or happy.

I can even understand how they will react to different things. I can understand how people work.

However I have a hard time getting an "emotional bond" with people. I just don't develop it. Love, feelings towards others, I just don't get it. People don't take up much my thoughts.

I hear about people how they just can't stop thinking about that very special someone, and I just don't get it. What can be so great about one person that you would think about them and go out of your way to make them happy.

When I was younger I was waiting for that "feeling of love" that I heard everyone got at some point. It just never happened.



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30 Apr 2011, 9:13 pm

I once couldn't stop thinking about particular people, but I was more obsessed with the idea of them than the reality.