Would you socialise with LF autistic people?

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Let's see... male, exhibiting bullying behavior, expressing bias and exclusionism, appealling to a woman's emotions... what does that sound like to you? Hmmmmmmm?

I already have, when working in a day center for disabled people. I used to play a "who wants to be a millionaire" DVD game with him. He was an alright guy, he used to laugh a lot.
Although usually I would choose to socialise with someone who was more on my wavelength, I was socialising with that other man because it was part of my job. Usually I wouldn't give him a second glance.

A confused sad bunny?

I just went to thesaurus.com and chose synonyms that I didn't understand hoping that lesser people wouldn't understand them, and so it would be a euphemism-through-ignorance and would spare the feelings of those lesser. That's nice, isn't it?

*pets* There, there bunny... I shall err on the side of compassion and accept your sad confusion at face value.

There is a group home that uses the same bank as me. I sometimes show up when the people are cashing or despositing their checks ending up in line with them. There have been two times when the people responsible for them did a quick look around in the bank to make sure they got all their people loaded in the van and someone in line with me would say to them this one still has to see the cashier. The one they were talking about was me each time. I guess I come off as belonging to the group home people.

Thats the reason I would avoid going to an autistic group. I might be the weird one they all try to avoid being seen with.

Last edited by Todesking on 05 May 2011, 7:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Depends on the person, actually. Being severely disabled doesn't necessarily mean being extremely introverted. So you might meet somebody who can't use language at all but still wants to interact with people, or someone who's highly verbal and talks like a book but is so introverted that they don't ever initiate contact.

It's really a matter of stereotypes. People like Autism Speaks are perpetuating the idea that autism means you're a hopeless case, and telling the world that autism is always this huge stereotypical thing...

Here's the actual truth:
Some autistic people are non-verbal. Most are not.
Non-verbal people do not necessarily need more help than those who can speak.
The autism stereotype doesn't reflect reality. It's more of a conglomeration of the most dramatic possible traits, tagged with an "always" and exaggerated out of proportion.
"Functioning levels"--the tags that doctors put on us--don't really have much to do with how we think and learn. Nor do they have much to do with who we hit it off with and like to spend time with.

'Kay, so maybe if you like talking about astrophysics, you might not really like spending time with the guy who's still learning his letters. But don't make too many assumptions. For example, I used to work with a guy who's developmentally delayed and likes astronomy just like I do.

I guess it all comes down to: Don't make assumptions based on what category someone's been shoved into. Get to know them for yourself before you decide. Knowing somebody's been labeled "LFA" tells you nothing other than that somebody, at some point, labeled them that way.

I'd give it a shot. I'm only really good with talking with scifi nerds and conspiracy theorists, but I'm willing to give it a try.
I'd spend hours with someone into astronomy and then leave embarrassed because they probably knew much more than me.

You just never know how a connection might happen. A connecting point seems necessary for a 'click' between two people but you just never know what that point will be.

When I was in college, one of my housemates was mentally ret*d. His parents wanted him to live with college students while he was in a vocational program to promote his independence so they found a bunch of off-campus neo-hippies (of which I was one) to share housing with him. I couldn't really connect with him for a couple months. We were friendly to each other but had an almost formal relationship, no actual connection.

Then one day a mutual friend was killed. We stayed up half the night together eulogizing her, talking about different cool things she'd done and how it was terrible she was dead. It was the most I'd ever talked to him. It was the most I'd ever heard him talk at all. We made a connection that night, bonding over shared mourning of this person we both knew. It's a weird and terrible way to connect with somebody you otherwise don't seem to have anything in common with, but sometimes weird things happen. It changed our relationship and from that point the formality was gone, we were more comfortable with each other.

How would this apply to people in a support group? I suppose it depends on what wavelength any of them are on. If there is a place where a connection point can be made, then great. If not, you will feel stranded amongst people you can't connect with. But I think it might be worth another visit to see if a connection point is possible. One of them may be interested in connecting.

Today's most idiotic comment, surely.

I do have a friend who is a classic autistic. He can speak, but it's very echolalic-type speech. I don't know if you can say he's LFA, because I'm not sure as to the definition of that myself anyway, but he would probably be classified as either LFA or MFA. I really enjoy spending time with him. He's busy with all the programs he does (he's quite extroverted, actually) so I don't get to see him often, but I can't wait until we could spend some time together again.

Last edited by MathGirl on 05 May 2011, 7:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

In terms of political activism, Yes. For example, I'd be happy to speak at a city council meeting with some 'lower functioning' adults, even if they need help. Now, it might be scary and embarrassing, and public speaking often is in one way or another. All the same, I'd be open to doing it. Somewhat depend on gut feeling, and if someone in the group practices host behavior and is welcoming.

For more social groups, depends on shared interests. Might try it out, then trust my feelings whether I'm kind of looking forward to coming back.

Although the assholitity of this statement is rather high, there is quite a bit of truth to it.

I don't know. I probably wouldn't mind being around such people, but I probably won't "socialize" much. I'm introverted and don't socialize very much anywhere anyway. I mostly like to sit at a corner and observe people with interest, like they're some fish in aquariums. Maybe I'd pretend to be reading something but actually observe people. I've always like doing that. I don't think other people, NT or AS liked me doing that much.

I'd socialize with them and I'd also socialize with people with Down Syndrome and Cerebral Palsy. I love people, so I'd be willing to talk to anybody and help anybody.

If you want to play the "HFA/LFA"/name-calling game... frankly, a hugely disproportionate number of the 50 or so "Aspies" I've met have been downright jerks. I WISH there were some people in the local support groups who functioned more like me.