Noob wrote:
Many are selfish as far as I can tell. Have you got or met NTs that are just great people?
It's not a silly question, because although I don't get the impression that NTs have any more tendency to be
selfish than Aspies, they do seem to have (almost by definition?) a tendency to congregate in things called "societies", which are strange and terrible beasts indeed, seeming to my mind like alien bug-eyed monsters. I may exaggerate a tad.
I can only think of one person I've known at all well who, with hindsight (this was in the early 1970s), was probably an Aspie. (I don't know whether I'm an Aspie myself, I'm still in the process of trying to work it out.) He was another mathematics student at my college, and he honestly struggled with things I refused to admit even to myself I was struggling with. He was the oddest person I knew. I feel a kind of kinship now, and guilt for not having been more respectful and supportive to him then. I let him down, and let myself down, too.
That was selfish.
I recognised we had something in common, of course, but I was trying to remain
above it. I hate myself for that. It was indeed a very NT thing to do. (Is that fair? It's myself I'm criticising, but is it fair to NTs to say that my own fault was a very NT fault?)
I've only had one friend close enough to really relax with, and he was NT, and an exceptionally good and unselfish person. (He died recently, and I'm still reeling, even though we hadn't been close for years.)
By a miracle (actually a long and exceedingly twisted story), I got married late in life, to someone very much an NT, and an abusive evangelical religious maniac to boot! I thought I'd suffered before, but that was Hell on Earth! By another miracle (and this I
really don't understand, my memory draws a blank on how it happened, I must have been dissociated to the point of madness) we had a daughter. By yet another miracle, I won sole custody of our daughter, E___, not because I'm anywhere near being a fit father, but because her mother was so abusive that she chose to live with me. E___ is understandably bitter about my inadequacies, and I am tortured with remorse for having brought a child into a world I could never understand myself. Anyway, the point is, although she has some of my mental traits (in a way that no-one else I've met has, so I think it's genetic), and she thinks very deeply and fearlessly (at age 19 she understands things I am barely starting to understand at age 59), she is probably far more NT than Aspie. I'll have to get her to take the Aspie Quiz some time (but not now, as she is doing A-levels and is under stress). And she's a wonderful person. I don't say that just because I'm her Dad. She has her faults, and she can be rather callous towards me, but in a sense she has every right to be.
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Age: 60. Sex: male. Gender: OK I give up, please tell me
AQ: 37/50; Aspie Quiz: 110/200 for Aspie, 82/200 for NT
Almost certainly not Aspie, but certainly something like it