Who knows some good NTs? I mean really good friends ect

Page 2 of 3 [ 36 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

bergie
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Mar 2011
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 290
Location: Phoenix, AZ

07 May 2011, 11:53 pm

Most of my better friends couldn't really be classified as NT. My brother-in-law is pretty cool though.



ocdgirl123
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2010
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,809
Location: Canada

07 May 2011, 11:53 pm

Most of the NTs I have met have been nice. I hate to say this but I have met some selfish aspies. I have also met selfish NTs and good aspies. It doesn't make much of a difference in my opinion. I have had much more experience with NTs in real life than aspies, in fact, I have never met another person with an ASD outside special needs groups at school or in the community, so I am mostly going from what I see on this site for the aspies.

My two closest friends are NT. My parents are NT (I think). All the guys in my favourite band are NT (I have met every one of them except one and they seem nice). My favourite radio host (I met him as well and he is nice) is NT. My favourite teacher is NT. All my casual friends are NT. Most of my acquaintances are NT. So, yes, a lot of people I know and like are NT.

Of course, I have met some NTs that I didn't like very much as well, but same goes for non-NTs.

I generally get along with 75%-80% of people. It doesn't have anything to do with them being neurotypical or not. I have never really thought about it.

By the way, when I say "NT" here, I am talking about people without autism, as I can't about mental disorders, if you could call autism that.



kfisherx
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,192

08 May 2011, 2:43 am

Is this thread serious? 90% of the people in the world are NTs. Most all of my friends are NTs and I have a LOT of friends. They are amazing people. Those of you who have distrust of 90% of the people in the world need to rethink some things... Or get some counsellings. That is just an unhealthy view IMHO.



hale_bopp
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Nov 2004
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,054
Location: None

08 May 2011, 2:54 am

I have a great NT friend who I saw today. He's the most normal person I know. We had a great time hanging out and chatting about a heap of stuff. I don't think I have any others.



Twirlip
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2011
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 199
Location: London, UK

08 May 2011, 4:22 am

Noob wrote:
Many are selfish as far as I can tell. Have you got or met NTs that are just great people?

It's not a silly question, because although I don't get the impression that NTs have any more tendency to be selfish than Aspies, they do seem to have (almost by definition?) a tendency to congregate in things called "societies", which are strange and terrible beasts indeed, seeming to my mind like alien bug-eyed monsters. I may exaggerate a tad. :)

I can only think of one person I've known at all well who, with hindsight (this was in the early 1970s), was probably an Aspie. (I don't know whether I'm an Aspie myself, I'm still in the process of trying to work it out.) He was another mathematics student at my college, and he honestly struggled with things I refused to admit even to myself I was struggling with. He was the oddest person I knew. I feel a kind of kinship now, and guilt for not having been more respectful and supportive to him then. I let him down, and let myself down, too. That was selfish.

I recognised we had something in common, of course, but I was trying to remain above it. I hate myself for that. It was indeed a very NT thing to do. (Is that fair? It's myself I'm criticising, but is it fair to NTs to say that my own fault was a very NT fault?)

I've only had one friend close enough to really relax with, and he was NT, and an exceptionally good and unselfish person. (He died recently, and I'm still reeling, even though we hadn't been close for years.)

By a miracle (actually a long and exceedingly twisted story), I got married late in life, to someone very much an NT, and an abusive evangelical religious maniac to boot! I thought I'd suffered before, but that was Hell on Earth! By another miracle (and this I really don't understand, my memory draws a blank on how it happened, I must have been dissociated to the point of madness) we had a daughter. By yet another miracle, I won sole custody of our daughter, E___, not because I'm anywhere near being a fit father, but because her mother was so abusive that she chose to live with me. E___ is understandably bitter about my inadequacies, and I am tortured with remorse for having brought a child into a world I could never understand myself. Anyway, the point is, although she has some of my mental traits (in a way that no-one else I've met has, so I think it's genetic), and she thinks very deeply and fearlessly (at age 19 she understands things I am barely starting to understand at age 59), she is probably far more NT than Aspie. I'll have to get her to take the Aspie Quiz some time (but not now, as she is doing A-levels and is under stress). And she's a wonderful person. I don't say that just because I'm her Dad. She has her faults, and she can be rather callous towards me, but in a sense she has every right to be.


_________________
Age: 60. Sex: male. Gender: OK I give up, please tell me
AQ: 37/50; Aspie Quiz: 110/200 for Aspie, 82/200 for NT
Almost certainly not Aspie, but certainly something like it


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 57
Gender: Male
Posts: 36,036

08 May 2011, 7:17 am

kfisherx wrote:
Is this thread serious? 90% of the people in the world are NTs. Most all of my friends are NTs and I have a LOT of friends. They are amazing people. Those of you who have distrust of 90% of the people in the world need to rethink some things... Or get some counsellings. That is just an unhealthy view IMHO.


I spent the first 40 years of my life thinking I was an NT with a few weird traits. Except for my brother, all my friends and family are/were NT.

The cat was the out of the bag when my daughter was diagnosed with ASD. The Psychologist asked me about my family tree and my brother came to mind, he had a speech delay until 6 but was fairly normal after about 10 yrs old. I was always weird, I took a couple of online tests and I unofficially self diagnosed myself as an AS.
I also suspect my brother was a HFA like my daughter.

Thus I had covertly infiltrated the world of NTs and passed off as one them.

What do I think of them? NTs are bought up in a highly competitive world, where Darwinian principles are applied to society through the framework of free market capitalism. Selfishness and self interest are assumed, how do I know? just open the first chapter of any introductory text book on economics and it's the first assumption you learn.

Psychology and biology predict we are programmed for finding and controlling resources, mating and passing on our genes. Yet, our saving grace is compassion and altruism, a mechanism by which we serve our own interests by helping the wider society or other individuals (not just fellow gene carriers in our family).

I have met some very compassionate, altruistic NTs who are very passionate about lending a helping hand to others. Not all of them are selfish, arrogant or evil.



Noob
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 139

08 May 2011, 7:28 am

kfisherx wrote:
Is this thread serious? 90% of the people in the world are NTs. Most all of my friends are NTs and I have a LOT of friends. They are amazing people. Those of you who have distrust of 90% of the people in the world need to rethink some things... Or get some counsellings. That is just an unhealthy view IMHO.


Thank you.



RainingRoses
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Oct 2010
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 731
Location: New York City

08 May 2011, 10:02 am

kfisherx wrote:
Is this thread serious? 90% of the people in the world are NTs. Most all of my friends are NTs and I have a LOT of friends. They are amazing people. Those of you who have distrust of 90% of the people in the world need to rethink some things... Or get some counsellings. That is just an unhealthy view IMHO.

I took it as serious. I'm sure you know that there are plenty of people on this forum who do not have a single person in their lives who they feel treats them decently. So, for them, that 90% figure might as well be ... anything. It's awesome that you're friends with a LOT of amazing NTs. Most people here would probably like to be in that position. But, they're not. Whether that means they're unhealthy and need counseling, I'm not sure -- not qualified to say. What I can say is that most people here are in some form of counseling, so they're already taking your advice. Maybe it's just not as easy as it sounds ... IDK.



keira
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Feb 2011
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,420
Location: misplaced

08 May 2011, 10:19 am

I know some great people. They are rare to find but there's hope. Not all of them are bad :wink:



Nordlys
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 20 Apr 2011
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 298
Location: Italy, Lombardy region

08 May 2011, 10:50 am

I never meet another person with ASD other than myself. And yes, i've knew some great NTs (though almost all friend i had (few) were eccentric).


_________________
Vaccines can cause cancer in cats. Think about that, before vaccine yours (I'm owner of a VAS survivor cat)
- Sorry for bad english (and bad norwegian), I'm italian -
2012 - år av nordlys... og sørlys.
- La diversità è l'elemento principe del mondo -


Louise18
Pileated woodpecker
Pileated woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2011
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 193

08 May 2011, 1:27 pm

All my friends are NT, and are awesome, and have stood by me even when my life is going badly. I guess that's partly because I have spent most of my life in a fairly aspie-friendly environment.



christian77
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 7 May 2011
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 20
Location: Germany

08 May 2011, 7:58 pm

I met people I would consider calling good,or great not before the age of 25 and I am 33 now. I think I have got one good friend who is very much NT.



astaut
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2009
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,777
Location: Southeast US

08 May 2011, 8:32 pm

I know a few people with AS, but all my best friends are NTs. They're good people.


_________________
After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
--Spock


tenzinsmom
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2010
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 273
Location: Seattle

08 May 2011, 8:42 pm

"Good" is relative and subjective.

So much depends on your own tolerance for inconsistencies in people, contradictory behavior, selfishness, insensitivity, and all the other difficult aspects of most people due to their own ignorance.

We ALL have blindspots because we can only understand ourselves, others, whatever we're perceiving from our experience.

Who can experience everything? Noone.

So we have blindspots. These blindspots cause us to be inconsistent, contradictory, selfish, and insensitive sometimes.


_________________
"Every day is a journey, and the journey itself is home." -Basho


just-lou
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 6 Aug 2010
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 252
Location: Sydney, Australia.

09 May 2011, 3:17 am

Quote:
Is this thread serious? 90% of the people in the world are NTs. Most all of my friends are NTs and I have a LOT of friends. They are amazing people. Those of you who have distrust of 90% of the people in the world need to rethink some things... Or get some counsellings. That is just an unhealthy view IMHO.


Agreed. I don't have many friends at all, but I always assumed the fault was mine, not theirs. I have kept up with one woman who is most certainly NT for over ten years now, and what makes it work for us is she is accepting of me being a little on the strange side. She just expects that I will behave oddly, so isn't scared/offended/whatever when I do. Conversely, I know she is NT and may not understand me much of the time, so will adapt and offer an explanation for anything significantly strange. Many NTs aren't so accepting, though, and maybe that's where NT/AS communication fails?



Noob
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 7 Apr 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 139

15 May 2011, 2:37 pm

Maybe I overlooked that fact that I was in a hostel...