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Do you have excessive empathy/sympathy/compassion?

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Ann2011
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27 Aug 2011, 11:07 am

I have a lot of compassion, but don't know how to express it. The more intensely I feel the less verbal I become and then I appear distant and uncaring. I don't think I'm self-centered or narcissistic, I just don't know the socially acceptable ways to express my concern.



Tuttle
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27 Aug 2011, 1:28 pm

I have very little ability to read people - I tend to be able to get "positive emotion" or "negative emotion" if they're not faking it.

However, I have ridiculous amounts of sympathy and compassion. I don't know how to express it well and don't know when its needed, but I am hugely



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27 Aug 2011, 1:31 pm

Sheldrake wrote:
Can you relate? I will be going to a psychiatrist for a professional opinion when possible. Before I do I want to know if what I am experiencing also occurs with any of you. I have insomnia which I now take medication for. I have been also been diagnosed with social anxiety and at times clinical depression. I used to work at a IT Helpdesk and was very skilled at the technical side of my job. Most of the calls I didn't have a problem with unless the customer was experiencing intense emotions like anger (to the point of being abusive) or sadness. Even when the customer was intensely feeling very happy with me, It all felt too much and caused me to have mind blanks. I ended up quitting because of burn out / break down. I have had only a few friends, the relationships ended mostly because of my problems. Now I have no close friends and have been unable to secure a job.

I seem unable to accurately express my feelings and views. I can only accurately represent myself in written format. I feel things too intensely in person and my mind goes blank. I become unable to focus or think clearly. I usually end up just agreeing with whatever someone says no matter how wrong it is. I am told I often look guilty and have shifty eyes because I usually don't look people in the eyes. I believe this is occurring due to excessive empathy/sympathy. People often misjudge me as a dimwit, unkind and untrustworthy because of all this.

I scored 135 out of 200 on this test: w w w .rdos.ne t/eng/Aspie-quiz. php

I can certainly relate. I bless the internet for this as it has enabled me to make contact and have friends.


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27 Aug 2011, 3:46 pm

n3v3rm0r3 wrote:
I used to think myself quite empathetic but I've come to realize I can only feel empathy when I have had the experience myself.


A lot of (supposedly) NT people have said that to me. They have said that they don't know what to say to me or how to help me if I am dealing with something they haven't been through.

I think in some ways I'm empathetic. Sometimes people have told me that I've said the "perfect thing to make them feel better" and I don't know how I did that.

But in other ways I wonder if something is wrong with me or I am missing something. I know a lot of people who say they can't watch the news or some TV shows I just watch for fun because they're "too depressing." It's like they just want to shut out anything "negative" or serious and pretend it doesn't exist. There are some things that bother me or get to me too much but not everything. I just don't get it. I seem not to feel that strongly about everything. Even when something bad happens to me, if it's not a big deal or something that directly triggers my PTSD other people usually seem to get more upset about it than I do.


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23 Mar 2021, 5:01 am

antonblock wrote:
this is what AS is mainly about,

anton


Along with:

All the sensory issues - ie problems with certain textures and materials even as a very young child

Inability to hear over certain background noises (I remember being bothered by everyone talking at once when I went to a pantomime hosted by my dads work place...I was about 9 or 10 at most).

Difficulty with empathy, but not necessarily compassion.

Tourettes like symptoms - Ie at age three I had a twitch in my nose which is indicative of tourettes but everyone thought I was pulling faces at the other children. I was not but I was told off relentlessly regardless. Even as an adult I still have mild tourettes like issues.

A dislike of being forced to socialise when you are otherwise happy playing by yourself - when I was a child of around age 3 (again) my mother was contacted by the school because they were concerned as I was not mixing with the other children. I remember being happy playing my own game by myself and becoming very upset because I was pushed to socialise when I did not want to.

A need for sameness in certain ways (but not others) because you cannot cope with complete chaos.

And an obsession with my various special interests that no neurotypical in this world will ever understand.

Aspergers is not just social, there is so much more to it than that.